Please provide me the feedback for my argument writing.

[nirajanpokhrel]

I have just started to practice analytical writing. This one is almost my first argument writing under time constrain. Please help me improve my writing by providing feedback. I dont mind negative feedbacks because they can even more direct you towards improvement. Also, I would appreciate ratings out of 6. Please do not hesitate to express your true opinions.

 

Two years ago, radio station WCQP in Rockville decided to increase the number of call-in advice programs that it broadcast; since that time, its share of the radio audience in the Rockville listening area has increased significantly. Given WCQP's recent success with call-in advice programming, and citing a nationwide survey indicating that many radio listeners are quite interested in such programs, the station manager of KICK in Medway recommends that KICK include more call-in advice programs in an attempt to gain a larger audience share in its listening area.

 

 

 

The author hastily concludes that radio station KICK in Medway should also include more call-in advice programs like radio station WCQP in Rockville: in an attempt to gain a larger audience share in its listening area. He draws this conclusion based on the analogy that WCQP was able, in two years, to increase significantly, its share of the radio audience in the Rockville. This argument is entirely disagreeable as it is rife with fallacies. At the first glance, the recommendation of the Manager of KICK seems cogent but with a meticulous analysis, it’s validity undermines.

Firstly, the manager has not studied about what else are the factors of increase of share of WCQP except the in-call advice program. There might be lots of other interesting programs available for all the age-groups in WCQP which might be the core reason of its popularity. So, only introducing in-call program does not guarantee the KICK, it’s increase in share.

Secondly, the manager has no statistical or numerical data about the popularity of other radio stations on which he is based to draw his conclusion. He uses ambiguous terms like nationwide and many which I think should be clear – which specific places, respective population and respective popularity of the stations. Then, on the basis of which he could formulate plans. Just because other stations in the nation in the other places became successful because of introduction of call-in programs does not mean that it will be fruitful for the KICK as it listeners can have different taste.

Finally, the manager assumes that no promotion campaign was done by WCQP and therefore, KICK also does not need to do one. Perhaps, more than call-in program had played role in increasing share of WCQP, the advertisement played greater role.

In a nutshell, he needs to study about what other factors were the reason for increasing share of WCQP, should draw his conclusion on the basis of statistical data about population and popularity and also must research on others things like how advertisement can play role or if advertisement is indispensable for the goal. Therefore, for this argument to be true or unanimous, the manager should gather sufficient evidences from exhaustive research and adopt apt assumptions.

Edited September 9, 2016 by nirajanpokhrel