Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Hey guys, Im applying to MFA in Design and wanted honest opinions. Im not a very good writer, never have been. Would love some quick suggestions, feedback. 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.”

As a visual thinker and communicator, these words of Swami Vivekananda have guided me for the past ten years. I cannot resist seeking inspiration in anything that has been beautifully designed, be it a product or a tune. Thus, I have become a collector of fashion, films, music, and products and love sharing this passion with the world through separate music and film community discussions on Facebook. 

With an undergraduate degree in fashion design, I began my journey in the industry. Fish Fry’ is the Indian way of saying ‘Fried Fish’. It is also a brand made famous by the leading Indian fashion designer, Manish Arora, who hired me as a fashion and graphic designer two days after my graduation. I worked with Manish to create prints and embroidery patterns for his London and Paris fashion week collections. 

One year into the job, I decided to explore further and started freelancing as a fashion stylist and digital illustrator for Men’s Health and Business Today magazine. Out on a sourcing day for a shoot for Men’s Health, I reached the design studio of Lecoanet Hemant, an Indo-French brand based in Delhi whose workspace and culture fascinated me. I applied for the position of Graphic Designer, and by the end of an amazing four years, I was leading the LH graphic department with a team of six designers. Lecoanet Hemant really groomed me as a digital designer, team leader, project manager, and creative problem solver.

By my mid-twenties, when I decided to freelance, my professional portfolio as a graphic designer had become strong enough to work with international brands and online stores including Sennheiser, Fitbit, Marks & Spencer, Jack Daniels, Honor, Amex, Mahindra, Harley-Davidson, Myntra.com and so on. I recruited and trained teams, for their digital and social platforms, website, apps, and digital illustrations. I also initiated a Rise India empowerment campaign with Mahindra.  

Design, art, and technology excite me, and the challenge of novelty has led me to diversify my skills in the areas of logo design as well as app design. Works of Armin Hofmann, Wucius Wong, and contemporary designer George Bokhua composed of simple marks with intelligent use of geometry and compositions have inspired me and my personal style emulates similar clean and minimal designs. I have created ethical and identity designs for NGOs and health start-ups, as well as led teams and build iOS apps and websites for Meal Me, Yummefy, Palm Leaf by Mahindra Comviva, among others. 

My own initiative, Metallurgy, which was in partnership, was a learning experience in entrepreneurship. An accessories brand, it drew inspiration from industrial design using brass as its main material. It also introduced me firsthand to sustainable ethical sourcing. Today, my focus is to complement and buttress my vast range of professional experience with a formal education in Graphic Design, as I believe it will give me the edge over my competitors who have had access to the same. 

I believe communication, especially visual, is a powerful tool that shapes society today, and RISD promises to mold me into a critical evaluator of social, psychological, and market developments that will help me be at the forefront of change. The state of the art studios, cutting-edge curricula, and faculty will equip me with the strategic and leadership skills I need to found my own branding agency. Finally, with its inspiring campus of doers and makers, RISD indeed is my ideal graduate school. 

Edited by Babadook
Posted

Hi Babadook,  I would suggest cutting down your statement. Longer isn't always better. It is important to remember that Admission committees have nearly a thousand applicants each year. A good statement is usually short and concise. All of the information is already written, you just need to cut your statement down and decide which parts you believe best supports your portfolio submission.  

For example If I was to start your essay I would lose the quote, your quote isn't supporting the idea of seeking inspiration in beauty.:

For ten years I have collected films and music and enjoy sharing this passion with my surrounding community and social media. I cannot resist but seek inspiration in anything I believe is beautifully designed.

After graduating from (insert college name) with a degree in fashion design, I started working with Manish Arora, an international fashion designer. At my job I helped create prints and embroidery patterns. (explain how this experience helped you towards the designs you are making today. Design isn't just about beauty, it makes a statement. What statement is your work in your portfolio trying to make?). 
 

A statement is not about your work history. A statement is about your portfolio and the experiences that explain why you do what you are doing. What is your portfolio all about. I hope the above edits will help you towards writing your statement. Good luck with your application  

 

One year into the job, I decided to explore further and started freelancing as a fashion stylist and digital illustrator for Men’s Health and Business Today magazine(I would assume this is already mentioned in your CV you don't need to repeat it in your statement). Out on a sourcing day for a shoot for Men’s Health, I reached the design studio of Lecoanet Hemant, an Indo-French brand based in Delhi whose workspace and culture (which culture? the french or Indo-French?) fascinated me. I applied for the position of Graphic Designer, and by the end of an amazing four years, I was leading the LH graphic department with a team of six designers. Lecoanet Hemant really groomed (groomed is not a positive word, I would suggest replacing it with mentored me) me as a digital designer, team leader, project manager, and creative problem solver.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use