Should I go to college or grad school? [math]

[hallo]

The short story:

So once upon a time I was really smart and went to Caltech on a full scholarship. Then I got horribly depressed and went on medical leave, so I went to this really shitty school ten minutes away from home. Should I transfer colleges, or wait another year and go to grad school?

Factors affecting my decision:

1) Whether I can get into a good college and/or grad school with my current credentials.

GPA: 3.8 Caltech/4.0 at current school

GRE: 1570/1600

Other: One paper from high school, two papers in the process of being published. None of them are related to math. I got top 500 at Putnam but that was frosh year so I might be able to take it again and do better. All in all I think my credentials are pretty good but I'm worried my courseload might be too light, and I'm worried graduate programs might hold my mental illness against me if they find out.

So far my courseload looks like this:

YEAR 1: frosh core at Caltech

-- Kicked out of school --

YEAR 2 SEMESTER 1: Intro Analysis 1, Mathematical Probability, Complex Analysis, Quantum Mechanics

YEAR 2 SEMESTER 2: nothing

YEAR 3 SEMESTER 1: Fractals in Psychology, Intro to Chaos, Intro to Abstract Algebra 1

YEAR 3 SEMESTER 2: Intro to Abstract Algebra 2, Algebraic Topology, LR-tableaux (1-credit independent study), General Psychology

YEAR 4 SEMESTER 1 and 2: stupid gen eds I need to take to graduate. Oh and I might do some research or independent study.

2) I have a weak background in analysis and linear algebra. I haven't taken any topology or geometry, in fact my university doesn't offer those courses except on a sporadic basis. The only math I am reasonably comfortable with is abstract algebra and I'm not even sure of that because our teachers really baby us. I'm worried that if I go to grad school right away I'll be underprepared compared to the rest of the students. (But of course if I went to college I'd take more math before moving on.)

3) If I go to grad school I'll be graduating in 4 years. If I go to college it'll be more like 6.

4) If I go to college I might suffer a horrible mental collapse. This could happen with grad school too, but then I'd have an extra year at home to "recover."

5) If I go to college I have to send out applications by March. This will be kind of hard because I'm about to go inpatient for a month.

6) For the past two years I've been taking "graduate level" classes with a bunch of 30-year-olds. I feel like if I went to grad school at age 20 I'd be missing out on the college experience. Despite trying to kill myself several times I loved my time at Caltech and I miss being a kid/hanging with people my age.

7) If I go to college I have to worry about losing my friends and starting again in a new place. I only have one friend here...but still. It's starting over.

8) Here I get put in really small classes and professors all treat me special because I'm one of the smartest ones here. Any professor here would take me on as a research student. If I went to a good college my letters of recommendation would not be as good. (I'd probably get to do cooler research though.)

9) I really don't want to go to college or grad school, I'd rather just lie in bed all day and go on the Internet. Maybe I should just say screw it and go to grad school here, hell I've already taken most of the master's curriculum anyway. Then I'll have a PhD in math and it'll be completely meaningless but at least I won't have to do anything for six years. I can be like the other smart kids who drink and play World of Warcraft all day.

So what should I do?

Thanks for any input or suggestions =)

[yinyangwriter]

You have to be absolutely certain before going to grad school. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stuff and I would recommend that you finish your undergraduate degree, take a break from school, and get a job for 1-3 years. When you are feeling more sure of yourself and your ability to handle the pressures of academia, apply to grad school...your credentials are fine. Good luck! By the way, you can bone up on the analysis or other weak points in grad school...You don't have to be strong in everything when you start out. Also, usually the math comps test you on two of three core math areas so you can test on Algebra and one more subject.

[hallo]

Hey =) That's a really interesting suggestion actually! I could actually see it working out. I know a lab I could work in for a couple years just as an experimentalist and it'd be no pressure, I'd just go there from 9 to 5 and run gels and stuff. It would be away from home and my treatment team but I might have family over there so they'd be able to keep me safe. And I might be able to get more papers...but they'd all be like fourth-author papers so I wouldn't have to worry about writing them lol

How would it affect my chances for grad school, to have that sort of gap in my education? (And can I tell grad schools I went crazy without worrying that they'll discriminate against me?)

Thanks for the help!

[punkybugsy]

Hey =) That's a really interesting suggestion actually! I could actually see it working out. I know a lab I could work in for a couple years just as an experimentalist and it'd be no pressure, I'd just go there from 9 to 5 and run gels and stuff. It would be away from home and my treatment team but I might have family over there so they'd be able to keep me safe. And I might be able to get more papers...but they'd all be like fourth-author papers so I wouldn't have to worry about writing them lol

How would it affect my chances for grad school, to have that sort of gap in my education? (And can I tell grad schools I went crazy without worrying that they'll discriminate against me?)

Thanks for the help!

A gap is usually seen a favorable, that's not to say you can't get in right out of undergrad, but the majority of applicants are coming with some job experience between undergrad and graduate. It's best if the work is relevant. I work in my field but not my subfield, however, the work I'm doing now is beneficial to my subfield as well. I'm sure you'll have to explain being kicked out if it is listed on your transcript as such. But, I'm sure it will be more convincing to grad schools that you are better if you can get a great LOR from a job that you excelled in outside of school.

[hallo]

Hi guys, you gave me really good advice before so I figured I'd ask again:

I'm having a really bad term right now and I'm thinking of withdrawing from two of my classes (general psych and algebraic topology). How would that look on my applications? It's clearly for a medical reason but I don't think I can mention what kind of reason.

Thanks guys.

[punkybugsy]

Hi guys, you gave me really good advice before so I figured I'd ask again:

I'm having a really bad term right now and I'm thinking of withdrawing from two of my classes (general psych and algebraic topology). How would that look on my applications? It's clearly for a medical reason but I don't think I can mention what kind of reason.

Thanks guys.

Are you past the add/drop period? If you can get away without a withdrawal on your transcript then definitely. If you'll have to list the withdrawal (since it's for medical reasons they might let you slide and take it off your record) then I would try to only drop one not two. But, do what's best for yourself.. a few years of solid work experience should help to ease some of the hiccups on the transcript.