letter of rec horror stories anyone?

[kierkegoth]

Hey everyone,

I am missing my last letter of rec three days past the deadline and my professor is unresponsive. So, I thought I'd share my story and see if anyone had additional horror tales of getting letters from professors to help me calm down.

After emailing all the professors I really admired and did well with, I received some great advice. Paraphrasing, it was something along the lines of ask people in your lab, if you've done research with them their opinion matters exponentially more. It just so happens that I worked in two labs, but I had to leave one due to a huge personal crisis that took away time needed to do quality work. Although I did not think the professor liked me as a result, I decided to go for this professor so I would have 3 letters from professors whose labs I'd been in. He agreed to do it surprisingly and I sent my  cv and statement of purpose to him 3 weeks prior to deadline. It's worthy to note that this professor is a sweetheart and he did like me until I had to quit. Then, 5 days prior to the deadline, I realized that the email I used for his letter of rec address online was completely WRONG, so he never received a reminder or instructions for submission. He probably thought that i went with a professor who didn't waste time training a research associate. I changed it right away and emailed him, no response. I emailed his other email with some irrelevant content, no response. I legit tracked down his class, waited for him outside his lecture two days later, ran after him, and asked about his letter the day before the deadline was. Said he'll do it this weekend and turn it in early next week. Monday morning is here I haven't heard from him in 4 days and I don't know what steps to take next, but await my miserable fate and denial letters. 

The horrible part is its mostly my fault. it's really impossible to get a professor to write one last minute too, and my only hope is to get grad student friends, who have offered to write one last minute because they have been there, to help. However, I just in all honesty have no idea where i stand with the last letter, so meh.

Edited December 4, 2017 by kierkegoth

[psych0]

I would contact your schools and let them know that the letter is forthcoming. I wouldn't explain the error on your part with the email unless prompted—you want them to think that it's his fault not yours. It's only Monday so "early next week" still hasn't passed. 

[PsyZei]

I had some serious LOR stress, as well. Honestly, it seems pretty run of the mill and expected by the programs. I only had one that I ended up at risk of going over and the overwhelming feeling I got from the program it was an issue with was that as long as the letter got in within a week or so of the due date that it would be ok. My situation was really a "no one's fault" thing (legit program recognized application system glitches and surgery was involved) but I didn't bring any of that up to anyone I contacted unless it was the party that was dealing with it. Explaining it to anyone else seemed too much like making excuses. At the end of the day I just decided if it didn't work out then I would withdraw the application from this program. It's too much stress on you to worry like that. Just take a breath, keep following up, but if it doesn't work out for this one program remind yourself that it's OK. Think up some awesome plan Bs instead