Anyone else married with children?

[M(allthevowels)H]

On 4/26/2018 at 4:24 PM, merry night wanderer said:

Oh my, WUSTL is amazing. Such a great MFA program, too-- how gracious of them to let the lit people take classes! 

I didn't even know that was a thing. Are there other programs people know about where you can take CW coursework as electives? 

Vanderbilt does too, though I second WUSTL and U Denver. I'd check out programs you have a good fit in, find the ones with MFA programs, and ask on a case-by-case basis (For example, Ole Miss has a banging MFA program, but Lit students have never typically taken classes with them, so you'd have to try for special permission or something. Maybe possible, but not a function of the program).

Maybe UC Riverside?

[merry night wanderer]

1 hour ago, M(allthevowels)H said:

Vanderbilt does too, though I second WUSTL and U Denver. I'd check out programs you have a good fit in, find the ones with MFA programs, and ask on a case-by-case basis (For example, Ole Miss has a banging MFA program, but Lit students have never typically taken classes with them, so you'd have to try for special permission or something. Maybe possible, but not a function of the program).

Maybe UC Riverside?

Good to know about Vandy, and thanks for the U Denver info, @Melvillage_Idiot (and I love your name, BTW).  U Denver is a huge presence in the CW world, so that's awesome. 

My priority is certainly going to be fit first and foremost-- I'm not considering USC, for instance despite their killer curriculum, because they don't look like they have a dedicated Romanticist. But if the program is light on teaching & allows lit students to attend workshops, that is a huge plus. I didn't even know it was possible to get these permissions, so this is good news. We'll see how it shakes out. 

Edited April 28, 2018 by merry night wanderer

[kurayamino]

I've been gone for a bit, but wanted to chime in and say I entered my PhD when I was married, and we had our first kid last year. There are quite a few people in my program who have kids, too, so we aren't unicorns. I suspect that most people who use gradcafe are younger or just entering their programs though. It's nice to meet those of you who do have kids/spouses!

[mdivgirl]

I moved across the world with three kids last year and have somehow managed to survive my first year of a Ph.D. program -- thanks, in part, to some pretty sympathetic advisors. The hard part is, accepting grace when offered and not freaking out when I can't do all I think I should be doing but not getting too used to slacking off.  Setting up kids in a new environment (pre-K, K and 1st graders, all new to English school), getting a house established, budget shopping furniture, finding friends, job frustration for my husband, culture shock, reverse culture shock, getting back into academia after YEARS out of it, being in a new-ish discipline -- I know I was not as successful as others in my cohort, but hanging on by my fingernails, I survived. I think I am going into my second year only slightly behind where I should be, so I made up a lot of distance. I am glad that American Ph.D.'s are so long, because parenting and family life do take a lot of energy, and distractions are the rule not the exception. However, the more I dig into my dissertation topic, the more I realize that I really do love this stuff, and I am slowly but surely gaining some skill in talking about it in a somewhat intelligent way. The best bit of advise I got when applying to schools is that a good advisor makes or breaks the experience, and that has definitely been the case. In the end, it turns out I did prove myself as having the capacity to contribute something, and at times I think he likes having someone to talk to who is a little closer to his stage of life. Although I am not going to be his star pupil, I am motivated to do well so I don't let him down. The other thing that has helped is we were fortunate enough to have an early inheritance to help us with finding a house and managed to get the kids in a really good school district where I don't feel like I need to be constantly advocating for them, so that takes a lot of pressure off me. I know they are learning and thriving and love our new life here.

[RaspyRay]

I’m married with 2 young children as well, and applying to English PhD programs this Fall. I went back to school part time to do my Master’s when my son was barely one year old and my daughter two and half. It was a hard but rewarding experience. Balancing young kids with grad school (or a job, for that matter), is no joke. 

Unlike most of my fellow Master’s students, I do not have « freedom of movement » in searching for Phd programs. My husband’s job is in NYC, so I’m limited to applying to programs in this area. It has been a blessing in that I don’t have to research 100+ programs scattered all over the country, but difficult in that it severely narrows my « fit » options.  I’m pretty much applying to every program within a reasonable commute that has at least 2 faculty members working in my area of interest, then crossing my fingers and hoping for the best! I’m trying not to beat myself up too much over the fact that a few of the programs that are the *best* fit for me are elsewhere...