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Unmotivated to continue my studies


Guest Chiper91

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Guest Chiper91

So I am in my third year of my graduate program. I got done with my coursework last semester and I am taking my comprehensive exams next month. I am fairly good at school and my advisor is happy with my performance. The truth is that I don't want to work in academia. As a matter of fact, I did not really want to go to graduate school straight after college. My parents were nagging me to go because I would never succeed in life without at least a MA.

Now I hate my program because of the intensity, lack of money and time to take care of myself. I've been depressed, socially isolated and anxious for the past 6 months because of comps prep. I have lost respect for myself and it shows. I don't care how I look or how people treat me. I don't eat regularly or healthy. I barely prep for comps anymore. Just want to get over them. I am conscious of my situation and every day I tell myself I would work out but I never do it because I have no motivation.

I don't want to socialize with my grad program peers because they are spoiled brats who are sponsored by their parents and yet claim to be "independent" and are "struggling" to make ends meet with our stipend.

Any advice on how to get through this? 

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I don't have any advice, but I am sorry that you are going through this :( Depression is rough and following a career path that your heart isn't in is so difficult as well, and then maintaining mental and physical health on top of that? I've experienced all of the above so I really really feel for you <3 Does your school have a psychological services office that offers free sessions that you could utilize? 

Edited by 01sonal
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My advice is to get in to see a therapist/counselor ASAP. It sounds like you may be suffering from depression and/or anxiety issues which you should definitely seek treatment for. Besides that, my advice is to do exactly what you need to do to get through your comprehensive exams and then take a break (at least 2 weeks) from doing and thinking about school stuff. At that point you will have enough distance to be able to more clearly evaluate whether you should leave with a MA, continue on in your program, or pursue some other option. Good luck!

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Like everyone else said, you should definitely seek counselling to address your anxiety/depression. Often, depression causes one to lose motivation. I don't know why your parents think that you will never succeed in life without an MA. So many people didn't attend grad school and yet they are very successful. For the same token, going to grad school does not mean you must stay in academia. There are many other possibilities. It is this sort of thinking that causes a lot of stress. I used to think like that, and that's why I was so anxious.

Another thing, you should be in charge of your own life. Your parents cannot and should not decide on your life. Anyway, you have ended up in grad school, so my advice is to do your best and finish whatever you need to get your degree. 

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