woodssmith89

You have made a good start, but you should be more clear about your objective. That makes easier for the reader to understand. You should also involve thesis statement which is very important of your essay. You should also collect some more examples from daily life which can work as a big boost for your essay and would be more direct towards the reader. You should have some more facts about the topic. You should also be careful about the spelling mistakes which is one basis of a quality essay writing. Overall your essay was fine, but you should take care of these things