unclelurker

Can the mods make this list a giant poster on the sale items? Or a bulleted pdf, like the Warsaw rules? I want to put this up in the study room at school. Best thread ever. Hilarious. psycholinguist, it IS made of win. Bravo to all who just made this season perfection.

True. I look at humanities as a model for academics as a whole. Popularity swells some departments during funding cycles (lag time), whereas other fields with so-called difficult topics or long term studies or infrequent products shrink. Those issues for funding and support cut across disciplines, math, art, whathaveyou. A long term study is a long term study, or working on a field site in the midst of a civil war. Add shifts in theory, combination of departments, and whatever else you want to throw in there - it just doesn't look good from any field's perspective. Maybe the sciences are better funded right now, but that does not represent the funding by the school+state, it is overwhelmingly augmented by grants from federal and private entities. The viability of those departments depend more so on the continual application and success of grants. Fail that, and the departments disappear. Whereas humanities are surviving - albeit at a significantly reduced rate and at poverty level. It seems that humanities/social sciences may have a slightly more realistic viewpoint and operating cost (due to drastic cuts) that the sciences have yet to take.

The Saint. Yea for cold fusion! Ghostbusters. I AND II. (all of the above are on Hulu. not to shamelessly plug more time frittering, but the thread does ask for it.) X men - sort of academic. I mean, he is The Professor. The Human Stain. The best evil scientist 2009 has got to be in The Doctor/Cobra Commander in GI JOE, retitled 'laser tag'. That character is also based on real life. I forgot what this thread was about. Characters in academia in movies, or the reality of the portrayal? Because the Informant shows how research in private industry can go awry, just like Cobra Commander's efforts to rule the world.

Valentine's was yesterday, but I like persistence. I like the humble pie that you are eating. It tastes like rejection. And a bit of the anti-intellectualism popular these days. 'My scores are good. I'm not really that smart. I write notes on my hand. I got into grad school because of my work ethic.' Bullshit. Just own it. There are plenty of people you don't feel the need to apologize for who they are. Maybe you won't get rejected to the grad school of your choice (because you are so tiptop), but for jobs when you don't try harder and apply to every last position that might possibly work. And then have the gall to criticize your colleagues for their emotions, expressed in an appropriate manner in an online forum. And with more humor than this thread, which is boring - not interesting. You don't like applicants reaching too high? And 'high' in your definition has nothing to do with caliber of research or professors, merely a US News rating generalization. Some would think that maybe it is better to try for good fit at great school, than to settle for mediocrity. Unreal expectations/entitlement/verbal volleys in an online forum. You have a computer and access to the interweb? Check. Advanced coursework (maybe post baccalaureate) and preparation for application to graduation schoool? Check. Live in a college town? I'm guessing yes. Dress with the trappings of the hipster? Well, I think this quote is just a gem I'm going to make that my mantra. That is the funny thing about the articles, the advice is don't go to grad school and yet who is listening? Not us. We are better than that. We will get picked. We are special. Consider the definition of a cult, and apply it to your grad program, and the similarities are eerie. Members reinforce rules, even on forums with weak affiliations to academia. Never criticize Top10! Never say you are better than that program and will totally teach it a painful lesson in grantsmanship! Top10 might be listening, and then punish all of us!

The best for last. Filmed on UCLA campus, with UCLA crew team members as extras... And highly predictive of a world ten years beyond its premise. How High.

Van Wilder Animal House PCU Legally Blonde Rules of Attraction The Serpent and the Rainbow Any movie with an academic character, supporting or otherwise, or even an academic or research setting (Jurassic Park) works for this thread.

Chime. And seconded. True. Yes. It feels like micro details, but at least there are many people to ask the same question. Maybe, just maybe - get more information to fill out the picture. Funding covers so much that I didn't think about, it isn't just stipend or tuition waiver or fellowship (dreams!), but monies for research and facilities and access. I understand the forecasts for the boomers, but in California I doubt there are incentives for tenured faculty to retire in the near future. More years teaching = more retirement pay. (This is assuming the goal is a tenure track job. Adjust as necessary.) Retention is more efficient than new hires, in any discipline. Additionally, the danger of NOT replacing faculty with a new hire, or covering with another department or adjunct is real. Didn't the economy hit some of the retirement accounts pretty badly? Some of the places I was considering were (note past tense) going to take students, but the current students chose to extend their stay by one more year rather than finish this year and emerge in the current job market. Two years from now, five - maybe the economy will rebound. But just because there is a smaller cohort this year, and likely next - does not mean a smaller cohort against which to compete for jobs. Competition will be against all the cohorts ahead and behind, dealing with the same economy. Cohorts ahead will have several years advantage to compete against. All the more reason to know exactly the funding situation, in writing if possible as coyabean notes, to have the resources to work while inside the institution. I'm not going to repost the articles in this thread, but the Chronicle of Higher Education has had a series of great articles on why no one should be going to graduate school right now. Or ever.

Really? I mean, really? I'll cry if I want to. And watch out, RyanF, your privilege is showing. We are all buying into the elitist package of academics, and I wasn't annoyed until this post. I think OP provoked a reaction on the results page, or there is a rash of inappropriate "tantrums" that coincided with the start of the thread. Tsk, tsk. I imagine the shuddering disapproval during teatime. The results page has angry comments! Like crumbs on the linen! I like getting hit in the face with the reality stick just as much as the next qualified applicant. It is great to be prepared, experienced and everything else that goes into the package for applying (most of these forums discuss those topics in detail) - but then to have a smarmy poster profess a "best manners" is just great propaganda for academia. Glad to see that you read the first article that I linked. You are assuming that the majority of applicants are overreaching in their ambition and underwhelming in their accomplishments, and do not deserve the coveted spot to which you will be (have been?) selected. If surprise, anger, dialogue and venting isn't allowed - on an online forum! - then I pray that you do not revel in or celebrate your inevitable multiple fellowships and acceptances. Because that would be too gauche. And immodest. Rendering the results page useless, if no one can say yea or nay with any enthusiasm. Again, go to research to find data. Here is entertainment. I hope that you do go to Y or B, and do well in your studies. I hope that when prospective applicants come visit your department, you counsel them in a similar fashion - 'If you find out you've been rejected from Yale or Berkeley, you shouldn't be surprised, and you definitely shouldn't throw a tantrum.' Pearls! Pearls I say! East Coast represent! My team is Entitlement U. I think you are in my league. It really is ridiculous to imagine the coach, for whom we have spent hours in practice, might not choose our special talents to start on varsity. And by 'our', I really mean 'my' talents. The coach is just waiting to call my name. I know it. Don't be angry at all the money and sacrifices, it wasn't going to happen for YOU. Of course not. But it will happen for me. Please be quiet, I want to hear my name called. Shh. Shh. The pillow just stops you from screaming. Of course, it could just be that posting online is notorious difficult to gauge tone or sarcasm. Perhaps those notes were not intended the way OP read them, just as hypocrisy was not intended in the OP? Who knows?

I need to watch that movie again, and apparently change my major. Or at least find a scene from the hellywood to inspire my garbage heap of study during grad school. Because I just want a full cardboard cutout action figure to put on the porch. Year round, not just halloween. Maybe that should be its own thread, movie quotes that describe your SOP better than 1000 words. I wonder how many botany people are on grad cafe, no one defended their field yet. In honor of spozik- "And now Mike, a good friend of mine, was gettin' out. -What? -I'm leaving. I'm going to Notre Dame. - How could you do that? - I'm... I gotta go to college. -Mike, I'm gonna miss you, man. It's gonna suck around here without you. - What's you major gonna be, dude? - Botany. - What's that? - Plants. -You're gonna study plants. -I wanna save the rain forests. Somebody's gotta fight for them. -Do you believe this guy? He's going off to save the plants. This guy was one of the most hard-core sons of bitches I ever met... and he's going off to save the plants. I remember this time he was drunk... and he got the idea in his head that all the cars on his block... would look better without windows. Get down, bitch! He took 'em all on. They needed to call backup. Finally they got him in the back of a squad car. The cops thought he was on angel dust... "The only way you could do it." Not so. It was just Mike. He broke those goddamn handcuffs, kicked the window out of the car, drunk. That's it. Never got caught either. Story was all over the papers. It took weeks for us to get him to admit that it was him that had done it. Now he's going off to hug a tree."

OP - Graduate school may seem like a Liz Lemon dealbreaker, but this is not a religion. This is not a cult. Take your pedestals and go offline for a bit. If you want data, do some research on admission and funding at your schools. It is okay to be disappointed in the process and express that in an online forum. Gasp. It sounds like somebody insulted your top school of choice, and you feelings got hurt. Then you started a thread about how immature the results section is, when you clearly benefit. Or, maybe, somebody wrote something wittier than yourself on the rejection note. And now you are jealous. Burn. The fake results are a mere reminder that this is a horrendous process that I am choosing to visit upon myself. Every time I hit refresh. And, for your reading pleasure maybe it is a cult the future awaits - and all the related articles in this series HONESTY - my daily affirmation. Oprah!

(To add to the above answer) I am sure the process may differ, but the schools that I know about do not have waitlists for the large, university wide fellowships. The general process is that people apply, they get considered for acceptance by the adcomm (skipping steps here, but whatevs), and tippytop candidates get nominated for university fellowships. Depending on the year & the funding situation, the numbers of applicants nominated can vary, as well as size of department. Those nominated go to the university fellowship committee, battle it out, and receive word on funding later. Much much later. Schools delay funding after deciding on applicants for many reasons, and the big university fellowships you mention are just one of them. It is a good point you bring up, and a huge factor extending the deadline for notifications for anyone waiting on funding. I think it is probably in the department's best interest to let the applicant know that they are up for a fellowship, but maybe some let it come as a surprise. The results search page comes up with some 'accepted' results and funding with various big fellowship awards - so some schools do notify at the same time. What fellowship are you up for? Professors/Adcomms have to write something to recommend the applicant for the fellowship. Maybe it is that you can really only attend with full funding, and would make a big difference to your field based on past accomplishments. Maybe professor likes you and thinks you will be a star. It is just a lot more paperwork, and no one would do it if they thought - from the outset- that you were stringing them on. Best intentions are at work, with the faculty trying to make grad life easier so you will produce more during your stay. And then get a job for their statistics. Maybe by nominating you then you will think - hey, that proffy really is nice. I will attend Suck U because they tried so hard to fund me. If there is a big fellowship that you are up for, just google it + university. CVs will pop up from candidates who got the fellowship, and then promptly DECLINED for a better offer elsewhere. If candidates are that fantastic, perhaps waiting is more difficult? How does one choose between millions in fellowships at Prestige U versus millions in fellowships at Elite U? It is sooooooooooo hard. I want to have the best time of my life and be fed grapes by lowly grads forced to TA on subsistence pay, while I lounge in fellowship heaven, but what if Prestige U offers caviar for dinner and Elite U has truffles? What to do. What to do. If you get it, and turn it down - the money disappears that year. It doesn't change the numbers or bias choice the next year. The economy has a much bigger impact than your acceptance of a fellowship. Of course, you then have a responsibility to become better than the fellowship you turned down. No worries though. HAhahahah. Who goes to school for botany? That is real?

chime movie marathons. not finishing homework. hulu. the olympics. mavericks live stream, contest tomorrow! shoveling out my driveway. again.

bump Bringing this thread into 2010. Timeline requests from schools. It would be so great to 1) get an official letter [screw log on notifications. the rejections hurt more]. 2) get an official funding letter. [notice how the two are not linked? WTF decision committees? why add more service hours, just get it done all at once]. two more months. seriously?

Supplemental funding for graduate students comes from scrounging available food from seminars and interviews, either from interviews or faculty invites. Harvard doesn't provide tea and cookies anymore, due to substantial loss in endowments (not a priority flip, the money is no longer there). While it may seem like more important things are funded now, all the unimportant little cuts - reams of paper, library subscriptions, fee increases can be fine if considered independently and in the short term. Added together and in the long term - throughout the course of a doctoral degree and postdoc attempt for tt, that does impact research quality. There isn't money to accept the same number of students, or feed those currently attending. And by feed, you know what I mean. Berkeley did cut full time custodial staff for the entire university. Some cuts are university wide, some are departmental. Thanks for the information regarding your specifics, it is helpful. NIH (NSF, many others) are great, but also time limited and soft money. Some PIs have been boosted by ARRA, but another consideration is the future freeze on federal spending proposed in 2011. That doesn't just hit at the UCs, but everyone in science. While budgets can't cut external grants, they can cut the school/state support (however little it is). That puts more pressure to write and produce more grants, with leaner budgets and resources. Everyone has to justify their existence. Departments get cut or merged, or stop accepting graduate students altogether. For the interview travel reimbursement - congrats on the acceptance first! And it may be regionally shifted for rates, as other universities seem to take into consideration distances for amounts. Although nothing in Illinois is good news (budget wise) right now. Is this the worst year ever to go to graduate school or the best?

that speaks highly of your program for the headhunters coming in for recruitment. Is this the norm for departments in Berkeley, or only a few select and focused programs? I once saw a program with a gigantic multiseat gold cart filled with cookies and fresh squeezed juices traveling from office to office on a campus during a faculty break. It was amazing. I may have drooled. Maybe that is the feeling you experienced your January in Berkeley, or maybe it was a different experience in People's Park.