budgie

No supermarket?! Ithaca has one of the best supermarkets in the states; We have Wegmans (other supermarkets in town: Tops, GreenStar, Walmart, Target). 
IMO Wegman's is better than Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Raley's, etc.. Wegman's offers locally sourced food, cheap Wegman's brand ripoffs of almost anything you can dream of, as well as all the food you would find at normal supermarkets still at the same cheap prices.

Now that we've completed this process it's time to reflect on the things that took us by surprise.
 
For me, I was absolutely shocked by how impactful the visitations were. My mental rankings of the programs I chose to apply to completely swapped after setting foot on each campus, meeting with my potential PI's, and watching how the department interacted with the recruits.

No supermarket?! Ithaca has one of the best supermarkets in the states; We have Wegmans (other supermarkets in town: Tops, GreenStar, Walmart, Target). 
IMO Wegman's is better than Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Raley's, etc.. Wegman's offers locally sourced food, cheap Wegman's brand ripoffs of almost anything you can dream of, as well as all the food you would find at normal supermarkets still at the same cheap prices.

Now that we've completed this process it's time to reflect on the things that took us by surprise.
 
For me, I was absolutely shocked by how impactful the visitations were. My mental rankings of the programs I chose to apply to completely swapped after setting foot on each campus, meeting with my potential PI's, and watching how the department interacted with the recruits.

Now that we've completed this process it's time to reflect on the things that took us by surprise.
 
For me, I was absolutely shocked by how impactful the visitations were. My mental rankings of the programs I chose to apply to completely swapped after setting foot on each campus, meeting with my potential PI's, and watching how the department interacted with the recruits.

This is what I've come to view as First-Semester Master's Student Syndrome. I probably had it when I was one. I saw it in the incoming cohort when I was a second year MA. I see it now in the MA students as a PhD. Basically, it boils down to you thinking that the undergrad diploma that you just got (or maybe distantly in the past got) make you an expert in the field in which you're coming to the university to get your advanced degree in, and/or going through the first few weeks of class has made you an expert of the material of the course. This isn't an accusation, just an observation of similar behavior. (Though, the fact that you're labeling your field a 'soft science' belies a self-positioning of superiority over not just your classmates but the field itself.)
 
The point of a discussion isn't to prove you read the books or to demonstrate your mastery of the topic, rather it's a chance for you to learn from and with your peers. If people are saying things you thing are incorrect, why aren't you challenging them (tactfully, of course)? Lecture has its place. Discussion also has its place, though, and it's often unsettling for students in my discussion-based class when they realize that -they- have to be the source of knowledge, not just the professor.

I want to hear more of this story

I contemplated quitting my graduate program in my third year.  I ended up not doing it, and I'm really glad I did not quit, but I respect people who know when to pull out and my reasons for contemplating quitting were different.
 
So here was my takeaway from that experience:
 
Feelings of frustration, resistance to doing work, isolation, even mild depression/low-grade "blues" are quite common and - unfortunately - normal in graduate programs.  I hate to say it like this, but they are misery-making experiences.  That doesn't mean you can't be happy - indeed, the last two years of my doctoral program were two of the best years of my life, both personally and professionally.  You just have to make a conscious effort to do it  But the key is to remember why you are there.  If you have compelling reasons for being in your program and you realize, after contemplation, that you really love your field and program but you're just feeling frustrated by normal grad student type stuff, you can get help dealing with the stress and press on.  I was frustrated because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life and I was making the transition to being more independent (from classes and papers to qualifying exams and my dissertation).  But I knew I loved my field, and I wanted to be a researcher in my field, and all of the jobs that got me really excited required PhDs.
 
There are cases in which your malaise/depression are really indicators that you should quit, though.  If you are unenthusiastic about the work - that's a key predictor.  It's one thing to be like "Sigh, I don't feel like writing this paper today" occasionally, but if you are like that all the time, in every class, with every assignment, I think that's a sign that you're unenthusiastic about the work and maybe the program isn't a good choice for you.  If doing your work makes you so miserable you want to cry or hide (but you are otherwise a happy/content person), then that's a good sign that you're not in a healthy place and you should leave.  If you think deeply and you can't think of any good reasons to do an MFA professionally or personally - other than "it's free/cheap and not what I was doing before, in theory," then that's probably another sign that you may not want to stay.  That's a sign that you needed to find a better job and/or a career that really fulfills you, not that you need a random graduate degree.
 
As a last thought.  When you begin to discuss these things with friends, family, and acquaintances, you are bound to get at least a few and maybe many people who will say "Just stick it out!"  They will say that you finish what you started, that you only have X years/semesters to go, that they're sure it sucks now but it'll be so great when you finish, that your job prospects will be so much better when you are done, that you took the place of someone else who really wanted to be there and thus you should feel guilt if you leave, and other drivel.  You might be telling yourself these things in a guilt-ridden moment.  They're all rubbish, and the people who say those things usually don't know what they're talking about.  I was really, really surprised when I discussed quitting with people - the people in my field, who had gotten PhDs or were in the process, were all really sympathetic and understanding and tried to help me find resources to solidify my decision and find jobs to move on to.  It was only people who had never attempted a PhD who said stuff like this.
 
And like I said, they are all rubbish.
 
1) You shouldn't always finish what you start.  Sometimes, the prudent thing to do is quit!  If you start doing something and you realize it's useless, why persevere?  For example, if you started painting your living room pink and decide 1/3 of the way through that you really want it to be blue, and you're totally sure, why the heck would you finish painting it pink.
2) It may only be X more years but that is X more years of YOUR life that YOU have to do, nobody else.  Sure, in the grand scheme of things 2 years is not a lot of time.  But life is too short to spend 2 years of your life miserable especially if you don't really want or need the prize at the end.  And 2 years can be a looooong time if you are sad.  That's also 2 years of experience you could be gaining doing something you really like, and 2 more years of savings and retirement investments.
3) It's actually not that 'great' when you finish.  Scientifically, people tend to be really bad at predicting how they will feel in the future.  I thought I would be absolutely elated when I defended my PhD!  In reality, I actually felt really tired, and relieved.  It's been 3 weeks and elation is not what I'd describe any moment since then.  After my defense (which happened at 1 pm), I crawled into my bed and took a long nap.  My committee asked "How's it feel?!" and I was like "It feels like nothing.  I just feel numb.  And tired.  I want to sleep for like a week."  And they laughed and said that was totally normal and they all felt like that, too.  Besides, even if you did feel really elated for even like 2 weeks straight at the end - which isn't going to happen - is that really work 3 years of misery and discontent?  NO!  The only good reasons to finish a graduate degree IMO is because a) you realize that you really need the graduate degree to do what you want to do, even though you are unhappy and/or it is so, so personally important to you to finish the degree that you would be more miserable if you quit.  And I'm skeptical about B.
4) Your job prospects will probably not be much better with an MFA, and honestly, they might be worse.  Some employers will wonder if you expect to be paid more because  you have an MFA in an unrelated field.  Others will be afraid you will jump ship at the earliest opportunity if a more relevant position comes along.  So it's not really a given that an MFA will lead to better job prospects.
5) Finally...this doesn't matter.  You shouldn't feel guilty that you got accepted over someone else.  That's in the past, first of all, and second of all, it has no bearing on whether you decide to leave or not.

I totally get what you mean. I'm working on my MS (applying for phd this fall). I'm not bothered by people whining as much as just not caring. Most people in my program are looking to get a job after graduation so they arent involved with lab work and don't study to actually learn, just to manage As and Bs. I love my classes. I study my butt off and am dissapointed when I get less than a 95 because it means I should understnad the material better. I spend all of my free time doing research because I LOVE it. Everyone in my program just looks at me like im sucking up to the teacher by answering every question but actually, im the only one in the freakin class who reads the material ahead of time and knows the answers. One of my professors offered an extra credit assignment recently. I have a high A in the class but the assignment actually looked like a lot of fun and basically the professor needed some help doing something that required advanced math background which he doesnt have. I figured out all of the math for him and then the explained the math to the class the next week. After the class, someone came up to me and said "why did you do all of that extra credit... we both know you dont need any extra points in the class." I'm sorry for actually loving science? I hope that it will be alot of better when I get into a phd program!

Asian fusion. Kimchi fries are amazing:
 

My social life has actually become a lot better in grad school than before.  My first two years I only had other grad student friends, because that's just where I happened to meet most friends.  After that, more of my friends began graduating and I started participating in the community more, so I made more working professional friends.  I love it.  I hate talking about grad school on my off-time when I'm socializing, and I find that some other grad students (especially doctoral students) love to either complain about grad school work or have philosophical discussions about research/our field.  I want to talk about stupid stuff like Solange beating up Jay-Z, or not-stupid non-work stuff like...I don't know, the missing Malaysian plane or whatever.





I don't think this is true at all, for a variety of reasons - and forgive me, but I think if a person has this problem it's one on their end, not others.

I'm a very intelligent person - and my friends know it.  They call me Google.  I think most grad students are on some level very intellectual, and I'm used to becoming/gaining the reputation as the intellectual amongst my friends.  (And my friends are no slouches.)  But it happens slowly, in shades.  Why?  Because I don't want to have an intellectual conversation every time I'm hanging out, and to be honest, it really irritates me when people do.  My husband is also an intellectual and so sometimes we do have philosophical conversations at home, but we are just as likely to argue about whether Superman would beat Batman in a fight (he totally wouldn't).  Who cares if people say dumb shit?  I mean, if it's prejudiced or bigoted stuff then yes, call them out, but dumb shit is entertaining sometimes.  I find it incredibly relaxing to not always have to exercise my brain in the very, very taxing way that grad school makes me think and to just chill out.

At our core, graduate students are just regular people like everyone else.  We have interests other than our work, and sometimes we like to just shoot the shit.  Sometimes I just need to get AWAY from grad school.

...but now that I am reading other people's comments, I think I may have a better handle on what you mean.  There's a difference between friends who aren't as highly educated as you - but are still intelligent, curious people - and people who just...don't care about learning or intelligence.  I have a cousin who's like a sister to me, and I love to be with her, but sometimes I don't know what to say to her because we don't share a whole lot in common - few overlapping interests and she doesn't have any intellectual curiosity (and will openly, proudly admit it).  So I think the trick is to find friends who are non-grad students but still smart, curious people - or who share other interests of yours.  There are plenty of people like that in the world of all stripes.  My husband's working on his bachelor's right now but he is still one of the smartest people I know.

I agree with Eigen's advice.  Most of my current friends are people I met who were grad students outside of my own program (and have now graduated).  It means that I know people in a lot of fields, and it's cool.  I also think you grow out of them "I'm so immersed in science that I talk about it all day!" after you finish coursework.  After I finished my exams, although I still loved my field and wanted to work in it I became very good at compartmentalizing, because I think I'd stick a fork in my eyes if I had to talk about science ALL DAY LONG.  I actually used my dissertation years to reconnect with friends, start an exercise program and rediscover some other interests.  It's why I decided to take an extra year of school, so I could move more slowly and enjoy it more rather than stressing myself out completely and becoming miserable.

This is a great site to keep in your bookmarks
http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/english/alertswarnings.html
 
Rarely are we "not allowed" to go to places. I mean it certainly happens where some countries will not let people travel to certain parts of their country (Myanmar for example), but usually the US gov just advises caution.  

You really need to breathe. Everyone's trying to give you relevant information, and from what I can tell (after thoroughly reading all of your posts on this forum and the 2015-16 forum), you should listen to what they're saying. The only reason their comments sound "haughty" is because you lashed out immediately when they tried to help you avoid months of (probably fruitless) waiting. Also, you're fabricating some of the comments that you're complaining about.
 
It sounds like you should have applied to Fulbright for the 2014-15 cycle if you're arriving in October. You could still apply for the coming year if you're planning on going to another country after this year of research.

Professional Development, that is exactly what Fulbright is, noted previously in detail by me if you looked at the other post.
Don't try to dispute that, especially if you just agreed with Isaac.

You haughty young people need to step back take a good hard look at yourselves and realize that you have some growing up to do and that maturity does not come from being haughty toward others or from being a negative nancy.                        
You can't disagree with me and agree with Isaac (sorry Isaac) all at the same time unless you plan on contradicting yourselves. 

Maybe consider a "plan B" on your route through adulthood as maturity comes with age not grades. DISCOURAGING PEOPLE IS INAPPROPRIATE ESPECIALLY WHEN NOT KNOWING SOMEONE PERSONALLY AND ITS INAPPROPRIATE TO TELL A STRANGER TO GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE AND VERY INAPPROPRIATE TO TALK DOWN TO PEOPLE IN SUCH A HAUGHTY MANNER. 

SPEAK OF YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES NOT WHAT YOU THINK OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCES SHOULD BE.
 
RESPECT!!! TRY IT SOMETIME
COMMENTS LIKE, "IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT SO JUST STOP TRYING ALREADY or telling people the fulbright rules when no one asked.
No one deserves to be spoken to in a haughty manner.
 
"AS I SAID IN THE OTHER THREAD ...... "  "DONT APPLY" GET A PLAN B"   "Be more realistic (wth, you cant say that to someone you dont know)"
When you get older, you will be wiser and learn not to speak in such a haughty manner. Your grades wont get you that sweet heart.

 

I'm haven't taken offense to anything what so ever.
Perception is in their eye of the beholder, that be the reader.

I thanked people for their thoughts on how they think I should or should not live trying to give advice without all the facts and where it was not asked for and I said I appreciate honesty.

I'm not sarcastic and I've been nothing but sincere.

I would however appreciate it if people would stop over analyzing things
CHILL OUT PEOPLE
Good grief LIGHTEN UP

Don't read so much into things.
I say exactly what I mean and mean exactly what I say no hidden message no attach emotion.

Just stop over analyzing circumstances that none of you are informed on in MY scenario.

Things aren't always what they seem, but that was pretty funny that English was thought to be a second language all because the auto correct got too involved in my phone typing. HILARIOUS

Hey InnovativeL

If you are getting butthurt for the comments and advise the people on this forum are giving you I suggest you refer your questions to your FPA. We don't need negative vibes in this forum and I also don't see how secret ninja is being rude. With Fulbright you have to be realistic and we wouldn't want you go to through all the trouble of applying if you won't be eligible anyways. Trust me, we were all in the verge of pulling our hair out here while we waited for the notifications to come (some people still are). Your FPA will give you more advise or ask a fulbright representative via phone or if one of then comes to your campus at an informational meeting. Some of us who are giving for you advise have already gotten the Fulbright for next year so we are giving you advise based on our own experiences, so it's not a personal attack on you, we just want to be frank. Again we don't need the negative energy here since this is a place for questions and mutual support.

So there's the Groucho Marx joke, which I'm sure you've heard of:
 
As a letter of resignation for the Friar's Club, he wrote: "Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."
 
Does anyone else feel like this when reading an acceptance letter? That the University is suddenly devalued in your mind because it let in someone like you? And that the best institutions are always the ones you can't get into?

I think tons of us feel just like that. It's the nasty old impostor syndrome where you don't think you are good enough and so if they are accepting you there must be something wrong with that school. I felt like that all the time during acceptance and still feel like that in graduate school some days. 

Having gone through this last year as well, I don't think this is correct at all.  (That's not to say the situation is any better than a waitlist.)
 
We know there is an initial screening stage done by NDSEG to weed out candidates before the DOD sees the applications.  I think this stage is mostly formulaic and is the easy stage to make it through.  Then it gets to the DOD where they take a much closer look at each candidates.  This stage is not formulaic and is more of a holistic process.  This is the tough stage.  
 
The most likely scenario I have heard is that the "maybe" email means you have made it past the first stage into the hands of the DOD.  The fact that some acceptances have gone out means that one or more branches have gotten back to NDSEG with their selections.  In other words, it's not a waitlist and NDSEG is truly waiting to hear back from the DOD. 
 
But this is not an optimistic scenario.  I'm guessing the first stage filter doesn't weed out that many applicants.  Assume half.  If you knew you made it past the first stage filter and no DOD branches had gotten back with acceptances then the chance of award given this information would be double the normal NDSEG rate (10%), so 20%.  In other words, there are ~1000 applicants competing for 200 spots.  Now assume a branch of DOD has gotten back with their choices and they took up 200/3 ~= 66 spots.  Then we have (1000-66) candidates competing for 200-66 spots so that puts us at a 15% chance of success.  If on the other hand, 2 branches have gotten back then we're looking at (1000-133) candidates competing for 200-133 spots or a 8% chance of success.
 
Obviously these numbers are rough, but they give an order of magnitude idea of what this "maybe" email means for your chances and it's not something to get your hopes up about.  The fact that only one person reported receiving a fellowship from the legions of maybes list last year corroborates these ballpark numbers

Please stay on topic and be reasonable with your responses here, all. I know everyone's stress level is high at this point in the season, but there's no reason for rants, tirades, or name calling. 
 
Warnings issued for inappropriate behavior. 

Just got the DOE CSGF. Maybe I should stop complaining about the NSF review process.

I agree with TakeruK - there's nothing wrong with beginning a PhD program with the idea that you will try it to see if you like it, and then dropping out after a year.  But in addition to the warnings he gave, I also want to add another warning: it's emotionally more difficult to leave a PhD program than most people think it is.  First of all, you don't want to leave without a job lined up, so there's that.  But secondly, you get sucked in, in a psychological and emotional way.  You're fed messages that academia is better than the "real world" - some sort of higher calling, or vocation - and that only those who "can't cut it" or who weren't brilliant/intelligent/hard-working/motivated enough drop out.
 
This is all a sack of horse...feathers, of course.  There are many brilliant people who never pursue a PhD or who leave a program, having decided to contribute their talents to the world in other ways.  But there is that persistent feeling within the program, and it can make students who are contemplating leaving feel very distressed and torn.  This may result in leading being a lot harder and taking a lot longer than a student initially anticipates.
 
Personally, I would say that since you're already feeling negatively about the program - you don't really like the adviser and you don't want to live in the city - that you should just turn them down altogether.

Press release from the NSF about this years awards: http://www.nsf.gov/news/news_summ.jsp?cntn_id=130974&org=NSF&from=news

Awarded. 2nd year.

VG/VG
VG/VG
VG/VG
1 thing I did differently this year was drop my UG recommendation and had all 3 recommenders from my grad institution.
I think I got a good batch of reviewers. All noting research experience (even though I have 0 pubs, 2 presentations) and also noting not so competitive GPA. 
In BI, I showed serious initiative in promoting science outreach.
The 3rd reviewer practically worshipped the ground I walk on and really read my app in depth. Left a ~200 word summary noting all the strong points my app had.
 
Congrats to those awarded. To those not awarded, remember that your scientific worth is not valued by 1 fellowship. This can be a real crapshoot sometimes depending on the reviewer you get.