shadowclaw

I love my husband and things are generally fine between us. However, sometimes he is so insensitive, selfish, and bone-headed and makes life so much harder than it needs to be. I feel so bad when he gets like this and he can't understand why no matter how hard I try to explain. I was literally in tears earlier.

Sometimes I wish I never met my husband

After filling a trash bag full of ripped old clothes and two big trash bags full of good clothes to go to the salvation army, I have successfully fit all of the clothes from my closet and dresser into just my dresser and a suitcase. Confronting my inner hoarder was difficult. There were so many cool shirts that don't fit anymore or were beyond repair that I needed to let go. I've packed up all the DVDs, CDs, and most of the books, plus video and board games and various household things like crockpots and baking dishes. I'm down to a few things still left in my closet, and going through some junk in the cabinet in my desk. I have a bunch of stuffed animals (despite being 30) and I need to decide if I really want to bring them with me or give them to my niece and nephew. I'm quite fond of the pillow pets, and I don't want to relinquish the giant Gizmo I won at the fair last year.

I know I took 2 freshman composition courses, but it was so long ago (over 10 years)! The first course was a basic writing course... how I wish my school had the option to test out of it! I know we wrote several different types of essays, such as compare and contrast, persuasive, narrative, etc. I don't recall many of the assignments, but one was to write about an event in our childhood that shaped who we are. Another was to find two magazine advertisements for the same type of product and to compare and contrast them ( I remember I chose gum ads from a video game magazine and teen magazine). I know we discussed how to structure the essays and how to choose "50 cent words." Plus we looked at sample essays. I don't really recall much else. The second course was a connecting literature to your life writing course. So we read lots of poems and short stories and wrote the same kinds of essays, but had to utilize the literature from class. We had to compare and contrast ourselves to characters, do a research paper based on something we read, etc. I remember that professor was really into the 5 paragraph essay, and she would give us sample essays and highlighters so we could identify the main ideas in the introduction and match them up in the following paragraphs. I know for one of the assignments, we read a story about a couple whose baby randomly died in the backseat of their car at the drive-in, so I wrote my essay on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and how the parents' behaviors and actions with the child were consistent with the risk factors for SIDS. So that was the content of the courses I took. As others mentioned, a lot of revision takes place and you'll probably have them do a peer review, too. Depending on the course, you might even grade the quality of their peer review, too.

Do read the fine print... sometimes it may prohibit any work, sometimes it may restrict how many hours you can work, and I recall someone mentioning that they were allowed to work any outside job, but they couldn't work at one on campus. I find it hard to believe that if the funding is low enough that you would have hard time making ends meet, that you wouldn't be allowed to at least get part-time hours somewhere (and I recommend waiting tables, bartending, or delivering pizza). However, I'm not an expert on these things. If you have the funding offered to you already, then you should have access to the fine print. Universities generally have the info posted somewhere on their website, too (check the financial aid section). You can certainly try working under the table, and there are more options than just babysitting and lawn mowing. However there is always the possibility of getting caught, although something like babysitting may be overlooked.

Good luck to all of this year's applicants!

Interestingly, while the majority of the programs I applied to did everything online, the two programs I chose to attend (for my masters and PhD) both required materials to be mailed in. The school I did my masters at wanted everything mailed except the actual application that I filled out online - transcripts, LORs, statement, application fee. Where I'm going in the fall at least does LORs and application fees online, but I had to put all of my transcripts, my statement, and an application for a TA position into one envelope. However, this was program-specific. I applied to another program at the same school, and they preferred to receive everything digitally. As for paperclip vs staples vs nothing, I personally use paperclips for everything, just because several previous professors didn't like having papers bound together when they read papers and required paperclips. So in case whoever is reading my work doesn't like folding back pages, I use a paperclip. Plus it's really hard to staple papers that are more than 15 pages or so Not that a personal statement will be that long. So yeah, I used paperclips when I mailed my materials, but I doubt it matters.

Thanks, Fuzzylogician... I was just about to direct Puffer fish to this thread! University Park is the name of the campus (as opposed to the Hazleton or Harrisburg campuses). State College is the name of the town! If you search the site, I'm sure you will find some people attending PSU or looking to attend it.

My husband has been away all weekend and my parents went to the beach. It's just me, the cats, and my parents' dog. It was the perfect opportunity to get a lot of packing done. There's really not that much to do, as I packed a lot of stuff earlier in the month. Yet I spent much of Friday and Saturday watching Star Trek and the Big Bang Theory while wasting time on the internet. Oh, and I watched Silver Linings Playbook, too. To be fair, I filled 2 boxes with DVDs and threw out some stuff, but I just hate packing. I go so slow and everything distracts me. I even stopped packing to go make some fudge today. I'm also concerned about my cats being sick while traveling. They both got goopy eyes and some kind of respiratory infection. I took them to a new vet (they used to go near where my husband used to live) who informed me that the likely reason they get sick every so often with the same symptoms is that they probably got herpes when they were strays. The respiratory infection is responding to antibiotics, but not their eyes. It they don't improve soon, they'll have to get a stronger antibiotic and an antiviral, which I'm certain will make them vomit through the whole car trip. My boy gets sick as it is from the medicine and has puked a few times. I just want my kitties to have a comfortable ride to Oregon

TA positions still haven't been assigned yet, which is very annoying, but a reality I was prepared for. I did receive a fellowship that covers part of tuition (would cover most of it if I was a resident) in the event that I don't receive one. It's not ideal, but it works. I did a long commute for my masters (1 hour 20 min each way). It was rough some semesters when instead of spending 3.5 hours per week on the road like I did in undergrad, I was spending up to 14 hours. That was a lot of time I could have spent working on things or even just sleeping I wish I could commute to my PhD program. There are a lot of towns 1/2 hour away with great rental opportunities. However, my husband and I have become a 1 car family, so I needed to be in either Corvallis (where the school is) or the neighbouring town of Albany, which has a bus that goes to campus.

Moving across the country in a week and a half. I'm kind of glad that my school has such a late start date, because it has meant more time with my family and friends before the big move. However, that time is quickly drawing to a close. I'm really not into packing, and I essentially have to move my stuff twice. We're getting a relocube to transport our belongings to Oregon, and it was $1200 cheaper to do a terminal to terminal move than a door to door move. So we have to pack up a uhaul, drive it 45 minutes away, and then transfer everything to the cube. Same deal at the other end. Apartment hunting has been a massive pain. I was trying to find something nice that wasn't managed by the big real estate companies, but everyone said they were uncomfortable renting to someone so far away. Even some of the real estate companies wanted a walk-through before we could even apply for an apartment. Ended up getting something with higher rent than we wanted to pay, but it does have a garage and a small fenced yard. It's also a short walk to the bus stop and the mall. I will also have no money, because there is an abundance of Asian restaurants in town, and I just love sushi and pho. Orientation starts on the 14th I believe. I'm looking forward to getting to know my new campus and program. I'm a bit anxious about meeting my advisor. I don't know why.

My family has had a few different insurance companies over the years. By far, the best has been Nationwide. I've been in 2 accidents caused by other people while with Nationwide (well, one I wasn't even involved in, a co-worker hit my parked car). They were great about it and printed me up a check on the spot when I went to their claims center for an estimate. They were extremely helpful with the co-worker incident, because the guy wouldn't give me his insurance info and kept stringing me along saying he'd pay cash for the damages. We had Geico for a while, but when my mom hit a deer, it took over 2 weeks for someone to come do the estimate, plus several more days to get the check. The whole time, the jeep was undriveable due to the hood being bent up so far, you couldn't see well when driving. Liberty Mutual was faster, but their rates were terrible, and they also raised the rates for other drivers on the policy whenever someone got into accident. The final straw was when my dad hit a buried piece of concrete in the unplowed parking lot at work during a storm. The frame had to be replaced (which was super expensive) and the rates for everyone doubled over the next 2 years. I also find it interesting that 6 months after I turned 25 and got a lower rate as part of the 25 - 70 age group, they created a new age group of 25 - 30 and my rate was almost as high as when I was under 25.

I agree that it is very rude to refer to someone as Mr, Mrs, or Ms when they have a PhD. However, in the situation I briefly described, it was a slip of the tongue by a freshman during the second week of class. It was quite a harsh punishment, considering most students have referred to the adults teaching them for the past 13 years as Mr or Mrs. There was also no discussion of how to address the professor, other than at the beginning of the course, she said, "Hi, I'm Dr. X. Welcome to Public Speaking." It's not like the kid was intentionally trying to be a jerk. Besides, the snootiness I was referring to was the fact that if you called the majority of faculty with a PhD "Professor," you were going to get a dirty look and a statement along the lines of "I have a PhD and you will acknowledge it."

I've always gone with Professor X or Dr. X if I know they have a PhD. Even if they introduce themselves by their first names or sign emails that way. As an undergrad, I went to a very snooty school for two years and professors tended to demand the Dr. title over Professor, and one tossed a kid out of class because he called her Mrs. by mistake. So it kind of stuck with me to be very formal. However, I know that my graduate advisor and committee members would be cool with me referring to them by first name (and indeed that's how they introduced themselves and sign emails). I know other students do. I would always stick with being formal until told otherwise, though, because you really don't know what type of person someone is until you start interacting with them.

Feeling cranky. Drove from northeastern Pennsylvania to southeastern North Carolina on Friday to spend a week with my best friend before heading to the west coast. Got there and my husband told me the clutch in his car is gone. It only had to last one more week and he was selling it to a friend's father for $800... the guy will still buy it from him, but for only $450. Had to leave North Carolina on Monday (only spending 2 days with my friend) so he can use our new car to get to work. Feeling really ripped of by life at the moment, because it's going to be a while before I will see any of my friends again. Also feeling cranky about apartment business. It's been 2 weeks since I mailed the security deposit for our new apartment. We were supposed to get some paperwork e-mailed to us to formally reserve the apartment the day we were notified that our application was accepted. Didn't get it and thought maybe they wanted to wait for my check to clear or something. Contacted them last week and they confirmed that they received the check and would e-mail the paperwork shortly... I think that was Wednesday. The check cleared on Friday and I still haven't received anything from them. E-mailed them yesterday about and am still waiting. I hope this isn't a sign that it's going to suck living there

In my masters program, there was a guy who worked full-time for an environmental consulting company while getting his M.S. in Biology. He took 2 courses per semester, and eventually switched over to just thesis credits once his coursework requirements were over. He did just fine, but took 3 years to finish instead of 2. Everyone else also had some sort of job, either doing a 20 hour GA assignment or working part-time somewhere (restaurant, warehouse, etc). One girl did a GA plus about 8 hours of part-time work at a grocery store on the weekend. She ended up doing a summer graduation, though. I worked full-time (and often overtime) throughout undergrad while taking 20 credits each semester and it worked out fine other than having a limited social life. My first year of grad school I worked around 25 hours each week at a restaurant, and my second year I had a GA assignment. The first year went fine, but the second year was very challenging due to when my GA hours were scheduled. School was 1.25 hours away from home, and my position required me to be there 5 days per week (as opposed to the 2-3 days I had class), and some of the work was at very inconvenient times in relation to my classes and my drive home (I often went to bed at 3 a.m. Thursday night/Friday morning and then got up at 7:30 to head back to do more work). In general, though, I think how much work you do will be dependent on what your research is like. I'm not sure what museum studies will entail, but for me as an ornithologist, my most time-consuming work takes place in spring and summer, which makes it easier to work during the school year than someone who spends hours in the lab each day year-round.

I personally wouldn't worry just yet about not hearing back from a POI. This is a really terrible time to email them, actually, as semesters at many universities are starting in a week and professors are getting lectures and such together. There is basically a window from around 1 - 2 weeks before the semester starts until probably 3 weeks after it starts that emailing a POI really is a crapshoot because they have so much going on and students are emailing them like crazy about course-related stuff, changing schedules, etc. Your email may very well get lost in the crowd, or get set aside until the POI has time to devote to you (and you are likely quite low on his/her list of priorities). Even at non-peak times, professors still get a lot of email, and may accidentally delete yours or set it aside for later and forget about it. I would say that if you haven't heard back after 2 weeks, it's ok to send a follow-up email. So don't panic

Something else to think about: keep your insurance up to date with things like employment, education level, marriage, and any other info they might ask for. After getting my B.S. , my car insurance went down $6, and then another $15 when I got married (per month). Paying your 6 months in advance also saves you money, which for me was about $100 for the 6 month period. It's certainly not an extraordinary sum of money, but every little bit helps.

I think #2 is highly dependent on the person. You sound like you have a specific plan in mind to get to your career goal and that plan might involve living somewhere where you can't have pets. Other people (like myself) don't have a set plan and take things one step at a time... and if at one of the steps I have to choose between an amazing opportunity and my cats, I'm going to choose my cats. That's ok for me, because I love my cats and I love having companion animals. When applying to PhD programs, I made sure to apply to programs in places that I knew I could find pet-friendly housing. I also made sure they were places conducive to having children in case we decide to start a family during my program (or something happens... because sometimes they do). The same will happen when I go looking for a job. To me, the OP sounds like he/she is fine with making those kinds of sacrifices for pets. If there is an opportunity in a city where pets just aren't an option, he/she will have to pass it up. As long as he/she is willing to do that, then there's nothing to worry about in terms of commitment. Now # 1 and 3 are a different story, but as far as cat personalities go, if you are adopting, you can get a good idea of that prior to bringing the cat home and you can pick one that isn't too needy.

Just wanted to bring up the issue of federal financial aid. Unless the rules have changed in the past two years, you can only received federal aid (e.g., direct loans, Pell grant) for 1.5 times the number of credit hours required for your degree. Most degrees require around 120 credits, so you can get federal aid until you surpass 160 credits. I don't know how it applies to double majors, but it's something to keep in mind if you plan on taking a lot of courses beyond what is required to get your degree. I changed majors several times before settling into my environmental biology program and ended up entering my final year with 163 credits (which included transfer and AP credits). The financial aid office granted me a 1 semester extension due to having several minors (but did not consider changing majors a valid reason), and I had to take out a private loan to cover part of the last semester (did have a state grant and partial scholarship, but needed federal aid too). Of course, if you are fully supported by non-federal aid, this may not be an issue for you. However, scholarships and grants may also have stipulations related to how many credits you can have. Just be aware so you don't find yourself left with a few required courses you put off and no way to pay for them.

There's lots of good advice here! I've personally never fostered, but it sounds like a good idea for someone who's never had a cat or hasn't had one since they were a little kid. Cats are a pretty good choice for a grad student compared to dogs, since they can be left alone without you worrying if they are going to have an accident on your floor if you're out too long. They also do a lot of sleeping during the day, which means they won't be feeling lonely while you're in class and will be alert and playful when you get home. They also love free toys (foil balls, boxes, etc). I haven't found cats to be very costly, either, but that's really luck of the draw. Food-wise, I think they're pretty affordable, and litter isn't too expensive, either. We probably spend $40 each month on food and litter for two cats, and we get pricier food and litter. Annual vet checkups will probably run you around $50, depending on where you live and the vet office you're visiting. A little more when you need to get a vaccine. The luck part is with their health. I've had cats since I was born, and in all those years, the only serious vet visits were for one urinary tract infection and one case of heat exhaustion (my indoor cat escaped from the house on a 90+ degree day), neither of which were costly. However, I know people who have had vet bills over $1000. So you never know.

That's very interesting! My undergraduate thesis worked somewhat that way. My advisor assigned half of my grade, and two anonymous faculty assigned the other half. But my advisor still had a role! Perhaps using anonymous reviewers is more realistic and representative of how academia works, though.