Andean Pat

I'm sorry to hear about the rejections. I know how hurtful they can be, especially when repeating an application cycle. 
 
There's always multiple paths to the same dream, perhaps failing for the 3rd time around is simply a sign that you've been pursuing your dream in a way you're just not suited to. 
 
What is it you want out of grad school? Intellectual challenge? Finding out more about something that interests you? A qualification to further your career? There are other ways to get these things out of life. Quit your current job and find a better one. Take night classes, find a hobby or a volunteer position in your field of interest. Go travelling for 6 months and see where you end up.  
 
Please don't waste whole years of your life i. consumed by PhD applications ii. regretting things. Getting a PhD isn't worth that.
Good luck and take care of yourself.

A lot of the things I would say have been said already.  So in an effort to say new things:
 
1. Decide as early as possible what you are and are NOT willing to sacrifice for grad school and academia.  Anything worth doing is worth sacrificing a little bit for, but you have to make that decision up front here.  Your relationship?  Your ability to control where you live?  Your free time?  Your fertility?  A stable job market?  Your sleep?  Make decisions and then stick to them.  You will adjust as you become more advanced - for example, I am much less willing to sacrifice sleep now than I was when I first entered, but then again, I don't have to as much since I have no coursework.  I get a good 8 hours almost every night now.
 
2. Even if you don't currently exercise, consider starting a program.  Exercise made me such a healthier person; I felt tired at appropriate times (by that I mean between 11 and 12 at night instead of between 2 and 6 in the morning), I was motivated to eat more healthily, and my mood and energy improved overall.
 
3. Self-deprecating language aside, remember that you are a "real person" and have a "real life" in grad school.  You are not waiting for your "real life" to begin; you are living it.  If you remind yourself of that often - even tack it on the wall - remembering to indulge yourself in hobbies, friends, and relaxation time will be easier.
 
4. Don't expect your cohortmates to become your best buddies.  One or two of them may become close friends; you may even date or marry one.  But I'd say far more often they become acquaintances or happy hour buddies.  My closest friends in grad school are grad students in other departments I met through various means.
 
5. Go to some of the shit in your department.  I know, you're going to get about three zillion emails and you can't do it all, and especially introverted people will feel the temptation to just hit delete and go to *nothing*.  But at the very least, when you see professors and they see you, they remember you and think about you when opportunities come up.  They see you as a team player and someone who wants to participate in the department when it's time for them to write you recommendations.  And sometimes that brown bag or colloquium is really interesting and may get you thinking about your research in new ways.  I never thought I'd be interested in social neuroscience, but I love going to the SNS colloquia and it's definitely a consideration for future research.  And research excitement is infectious.  Even if the topic is the most boring thing you've ever heard, seeing someone else all fired up about their own research sometimes has the effect of making YOU feel more excited about your own, and more motivated to do some work.  So don't go to everything, but go to some things, and be thoughtful and ask questions and make comments.
 
6. Write EVERY DAY.  Even if it is just a paragraph, even if it is not academic, set aside some time to write something every day.  Getting in the habit of writing every day makes it easier for the words to flow when you sit down to do academic writing.  If you have the most ridiculous writer's block, then just start babbling about your day on paper, or even just writing about how frustrating it is being blocked.  The only way to bust writer's block is to get in there.  I used to be one of those students who would wait for flashes of inspiration to come along before I sat down and wrote.  Not only is that untenable given the amount of writing you will have to do, it also encourages marathon writing sessions, which in turn encourages being up until the wee hours of the morning and getting no sleep.  So do yourself a favor and write often.
 
6b. And just write.  Your first draft will be crap; that's what editing is for.  Don't worry about that perfect citation or trying to remember the quote exactly right or the exact percentage.  That's what editing is for..  Just make a note of it and move on.  You can fix it later, but if you break your stride, it's more difficult to get started again.
 
7. I think what helps in learning to say "no" is developing a thicker skin.  Sometimes we say "yes" because we are worried about what others thing about us.  And while yes, I do think we need to worry what SOME others think about us, some of the time, don't spend too much too worrying about it.  The less of a damn I gave the easier it became for me to say "No, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that."  And you don't always have to give an explanation if you don't want or have one.  It depends on who you are telling no.  I think this can be especially hard for women because we are used to being expected to (or wanting to) take care of everyone and want people to like us personally.  I've given up on trying to make everyone like me personally.  I have friends for that.  Now I just want people to respect me as a scholar and a professional.  And sometimes, that involves saying "no."  Because people will perceive you a lot better if you do a few things very well than if you do a lot of things poorly because you don't have enough time.
 
8. MOST importantly, remember that a PhD is a means to an end.  Enjoy it.  But everything you do in the program should have an end goal of getting you a job.  Do the things that will help you get there and eschew the things that won't.  And your goal from Day One is to get that job, so start putting the things on your CV that will help you achieve that goal.  If you need teaching experience in your field because 95% of the jobs are at teaching institutions, then TA or adjunct regardless of whether your professor (who is probably at an R1 and likely got his job in the 1980s or 1990s when things were marginally better) tells you you don't "need" to.  If you want to go into industry, find a way to quietly do an industry internship or two during grad school (and yes, a lot of them will take PhD students.  I did one).

I've applied to 8 schools to pursue a PhD in music. I'm starting to feel like I applied to too many high-level programs. I found a few schools that could give me a better chance, so-called "safety schools"
 
But here is the problem---Is there any such thing as a safety school at the doctorate level???
 
There are millions for undergrad, a huge handful for masters, but PhD?? Seems ridiculous
 
I keep thinking about next year, in case I don't get admitted this year. Where will I apply next year? More "safety" schools?
 
I don't feel like a safety school exists at the doctorate level, especially in music. Most schools only admit several PhD students in my field.
 
Does anyone have an opinion on the topic of "Safety" Schools???
 
 

Two Yale acceptances - congrats, and show yourselves! Did you have interviews? Were you e-mailed by POIs?

what are five things that you want to do before getting your PhD? mine are:
1. academic- publish 4 papers
2. social: make at least four lasting friends and g o to sky diving, madi grass etc
3. emotional- learn to love whole heatedly ( even if i get hurt at the end) 
4. physical: run a marathon ( in the process, loose 40 lbs)
5. Faith- read the entire bible from cover to cover.

You need to be able to (modestly) live off of it, which depends on where it is. You should also consider if there are student fees (ask about this) that are not covered and that you would be paying out of pocket, as that reduces your stipend. How many years did they offer? (I'm not willing to go anywhere that doesn't give me 5 guaranteed). Consider also how much theyre going to make you work too, as in, what's the required teaching load. You can PM me if you want some sort of comparison, as I have a funded offer.

I wouldn't be surprised if it's tomorrow but if I was a betting woman I'd say thursday.

.....ooh bugger. Now I'm petrified again, haha! Thank you for letting us know, though 

For those of you waiting on Princeton, I just wanted to give you a heads up that the final meeting takes place today. The central bureaucracy confirmed the list. Accepted students should be hearing very soon! Good luck! 

Ok, I did survive but all sweaty. Since the connection had a delay, the interview committee preferred to do it only audio. Here are the questions that they posed:
 
* You talked about your interests in X. Tell us what would you plan to do. (I expanded on the SOP, did not repeat the same thing)
* Would you consider also Y and Z for this project?
* Have you read Dr. H's foundational article on topic X? (No)
* How do you feel about reading all this amount of literature that you have not read in your undergrad?
* Have you taken into account that you are going to be a foreigner not only terms of nationality but also in terms of literature?
* How do you feel about working with other fields? 
* Which methodology have you used in your recent project? How would you apply it in your next project?
* Have you got any questions for us?
 
(that's all I can remember!) 
 
Hope it is useful!!!!

The writing sample is one of the more important components of the application, certainly more than the GRE and GPA scores. Those might keep you out if you don't meet minimum standards, but it's the SOP, LORs and WS that will get you in. My writing sample was read by adcom members. Some even gave me specific comments when I visited their campus. It's the most direct way to gage the quality of a student's work. You don't need to have a journal paper to show potential, its enough that you argue a sustained and well defended position, even if the scope of the argument is quite limited, and that you show strong language skills. I'd recommend you assume your WS *is* going to be looked at and change your attitude towards this requirement, or else you might be doing yourself a disservice.,

I'm not sure how i feel about that.  In a big department you wont find the kind of commonalities you are discussing, and many advisers don't want clones of themselves.  I went into the process with a project that people were very positive about but was very different than anything anyone was doing.  Anyone in the country.  It sounds to me like this is a vision of departmental fit that works for some people and not others.
 
As for looking at faculty to determine grad student cohorts, that seems like a particularly useless idea.  There aren't that many people with state university degrees on my faculty (yes, we talk about it, no it's not changing anytime soon, no no one is proud of it).  The graduate cohorts look nothing like those faculty.  Again, because they aren't making mini me. 
 
I'm not saying fit doesn't happen, it does and it's important but it's a lot more intuitive than you are describing.
 
As for the used car thing, yes, some departments like to have a ton of applications.  Some of them would have a ton of applications no matter what they told applicants in email.  And yes it is expensive to apply to graduate school.  Nothing about this process is rational or practical.  If you aren't applying to schools because you think you have no chance there because they get a ton of applications, you are doing yourself a disservice. 
 
Apply to the places you think work for you. 

Guys, i hate to tell you this, but in previous years there were false notices on the result board.  Don't get your heart set on outliers or start freaking out because of them.  They may be private notices from PoIs, or they might not be real.

43. Dropped out of UCSD at 23, returned at 40 after working in everything from food service, custom cabinetry, failing as a "pro" photographer, slaving away in $%*hole companies doing (really bad) graphic design, then moving all the way up to become an award winning film editor and art director working on tv commercials in LA with some good friends.

Now, going to UCLA for my MFA in Fall 2012...you can rock and roll at any age

Best of luck to all in your future endeavors.

46. YAY ME!!!

Yeah, I guess I'm just surprised that they're sending out news on a Saturday.

i'd love some stories from experienced grad cafe folks who realized a major flaw in their application and still got in
 
i'm sure most of my feeling is just having to get up at 7 on a saturday feeling slightly hungover as it is...why isn't it february yet?!

There's lots of examples in the results section of people finding out they're accepted via post or a website, or from the grad department. Anything is possible.

Congratulations to the new generation of incredible historians admitted to those amazing institutions!! Especially with funding!! Ohhh, funding! :-) Now that your panic is alleviated, have patience with the rest of us crazies here!
 
 
Awaiting the University of Oklahoma here. Nervously awaiting a response!

I'm not a brilliant student so all this doesn't apply Q.E.D.

If she said she would write one then she should be ok with it. Just tell her that her class was the most recent academic performance you have and that the other two writers are from employment which is recent, but you think that an academic assessment is important. Also, if she is in the program her letter would be weighted a lot - if it is great you are almost in, if it is bad then you are almost out.

Congrats to people starting to see admissions.  Be careful of what is called the Foothold Effect.  Some schools try very hard to be among the first school to admit so that you start imagining yourself there.  That way when other admissions come in you are comparing the new offer against the one you already have subconciously.
 
I know that it's early and a lot of you don't have admissions yet, but you need to start to think about things differently.  Once the school has admitted you, they want you very badly.  The professors have invested a lot of time in your applications, they've fought battles to get who they want, and at most places made bitter decisions about who they could and couldn't fund.  You need very quickly to get past the "they like me, they really like me!" feeling and be prepared to think about this very rationally.  You are talking about 5-9 years of the rest of your life.
 
For those of you waiting on Princeton specifically I will tell you that the essential decisions have already been made, but you must remember that the raft of candidates has to go to the graduate school and packages have to be put togeather.  They're all the same package yes, but they actually have to assemble all the stuff.  I would not expect a decision from Princeton on a friday, but that's not hard and fast, it's just a matter of the way the department functions.  Spring classes start on the 4th here, so although I would put money on decisions coming out on the 7th of Feb, it could be earlier if the bureaucracy wants to get it done before classes start.

Oh no... that wasn't the intention...

Congrats to the UCI and OSU folks!!!
 
Things are really starting. I'm getting so anxious!

@czesc Like Oseirus says, I think your credentials are wonderful. You may even get extra points for coming from a position outside of academia. Experience in the law field, in addition to your earlier accomplishments, could prompt adcoms to see you as a more well-rounded candidate. I would play that angle up in your SOP.

The way I see it...you're the one who's intimidating!