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BytheHammerofThor

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    East Coast
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  • Program
    Social Sciences

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  1. It kind of sounds like he doesn't get it. At least with me, I'm kind of socially awkward and generally pretty introverted, so unless someone is fairly direct with me or is obscenely obviously flirting, then I tend to miss it. Some people don't do well with subtlety and if someone was asking me about my personal life at the tail end of a work-oriented meeting, I probably wouldn't think anything of it, personally.
  2. I think it depends... Is your stuff valuable? Personally, I've experienced a few "big moves" and because of the cost of my furniture relative to what it would've cost to rent a truck, I ended up just selling my stuff on craigslist and packing my car to the brim. The total cost of replacing my furniture was about the same as renting the truck (I don't have a lot of stuff), and I made up some of that money anyway by selling my furniture, so I decided to just start over for logistical reasons. It's worked out fairly well for me to do it this way, but again, I think it depends. In my current place, I might be more inclined to rent a truck because I have nicer stuff, but will probably still end up selling it when I leave.
  3. I have dealt with a similar situation. At first, I didn't realize what this person was doing, as I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but over time, it became clear that this person was actively trying to undermine myself and another person in my cohort who they must have felt "threatened" by. At risk of identifying myself, I won't go into specifics, but it was some pretty crazy, underhanded stuff and I was similarly shocked, as I cannot fathom doing such things to others. Unfortunately, I don't really have a good solution for this kind of behavior... I think the biggest thing is knowing that a person has this tendency and being able to anticipate that they are going to actively try and screw you over, and adjust your conduct accordingly (i.e., distancing yourself from them so they cannot wreak havoc). In my case, I treated this person as a "frenemy" and was cordial publicly, but distanced myself and didn't work with them on a one-to-one basis, and if I did, I made sure that I was on top of their sneaky nonsense. Luckily, we were not in a lab together, otherwise it would've been a lot harder... I think there are more people in academia like this than we care to admit sometimes...
  4. I came from a low ranking school to a high ranking school and it's been a bit of a culture shock for me. Keeping in line with this transition, I wish I would've known the following: 1) That I'd have to deal with the general snark of competitive classmates 2) The politics of being in a department where the expectations are quite high and attendance to community events is pretty much demanded 3) How much of a time-related blackhole coursework is 4) How little time there is to do research in the first year
  5. I'd say 3.5 or higher. Depends on the requirements of your respective program. For mine, you need a 3.5 average to stay in the program.
  6. To be honest, I would be pretty selective about who you share this information with. Academics can be pretty gossipy, and grad school is already lonely and isolating enough. I would give it some time and see if there are people you can trust in your program, but I wouldn't put this information on blast, by any means, personally. I've also had some tough things happen to me, and I've noticed that in the past, when I divulge this information, people tend to treat me differently. In my current program, maybe two people know about it, and I intend to keep it that way. It's less complicated this way and frankly, these people are your co-workers, not your friends; treat them as such. I'm not sure if you were referring to like, your program in general, or in an actual counseling situation, so sorry if my answer doesn't make sense.
  7. Start looking as soon as possible. I'm in a PhD program now, but I took a break after my master's and worked for a bit. I graduated from my master's program in early May, and I had been applying for jobs since roughly March of that year. I didn't get hired on somewhere until the end of July, and that was applying for positions with some regularity. It can be difficult to land your first professional gig post-master's, so plan to give it some time. Something that I think really helped me, too, was reworking my CV and resume' (I bought a few books and endlessly scoured the interwebs for good examples), so I would try to do some prep work on that end, too. Good luck!
  8. 2/5. My program is highly ranked and there are some very good resources here. Overall, I feel like I'm getting a good education and I'm learning a lot. However, I do not feel adequately supported by the faculty, there is not a good sense of community in my program (e.g., competitiveness, general cattiness among students), and the coursework is kind of ridiculous. I expected my program to be difficult, but I thought the difficulty would be contained in doing research, not in coursework, as there isn't time to do anything else but coursework the way my program is structured, and it's super frustrating.
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