OTL2012

Man, I totally know what you mean! For some reason the longer it goes on the less of a chance I think I have. I did this for the first round too -- I didn't really think about it while it was months and even weeks away, and then totally convinced myself in the days leading up to the first round notification that I hadn't been recommended. This entire process...talk about a head trip. But hey, exciting that there's some movement, that the sequestration hasn't killed everything, and that (completely unrelatedly) the weather forecast for tomorrow is 75 and sunny here. I'll take it. Also, as an aside, just tried to come up with a forum-appropriate synonym for "mind f***" to describe this process. Sooo I asked my brother. "What's an appropriate synonym for mind ****?" "In what context?" "Waiting for fellowship responses." "I mean, 'torture'?" Haha so even I wouldn't have gone that far, but glad to know he sympathizes...

Even without making any analyses on the "data" (for lack of a better word) you've provided, and by just purely going with how you have presented the info and what you sound like you truly want, your heart is telling you B. Furthermore, you have the data to back up the decision, so it's not like you're making an emotional, knee jerk decision. Go with B. Plus, how amazing that you have such a supportive advisor at A who if you play your cards right you can still keep in your corner for years to come (hello, postdoc!). And finally, in 5 years, 10 years, no matter which program you choose, you will be where you want to be and you will be happy, because your situation will be what you make of it and you will make the best of it. It is so hard when you are in the thick of it to be able to step back and take the plunge to make the final decision (I have DEFINITELY been there!), but B is an awesome choice and a great opportunity for 5ish years. ...and then it will all be moot because of course the second you make your painstaking decision, you'll get the Fulbright and go to B anyway and all will be right in the world!

Ok. Finally broke down and decided to post after lurking since...a really long time. Though I have nothing of use to add -- but thanks to all for giving me waaaaaay more information (for better or worse) than I ever would have had on my own! I'm guessing no one else out there is applying to the EU?