Soul

Wow, a lot of interceding issues and complications in the OP.
 
Your friend is not doing anything blatantly against you from what I can tell. It seems to me that initially in your friendship, she was 'non-threatening'. Now, the relationship has evolved to where she is gaining some more self-confidence in her presence in the program, and you are envious of that. Her self-confidence could be coming attempts to compete with you, but more importantly, your perception is that the friendship playing field is no longer equal. This in part, is why you wish to know more about what is going on with her and her life. The perceived secretiveness about her life only fuels your suspicion that her actions within the department may have ulterior motives. Perhaps she does not feel comfortable discussing personal information to what are essentially co-workers. What she is doing is realizing what she needs to do to position herself favorably within and outside her department. It is obvious that a good work ethic, along with active participation in departmental affairs helps her in that regard. This is also something that you should do. Instead, you're letting your self-esteem and enviousness get in the way of your own progression.
 
As for your advisor, I can completely sympathize. Your advisor is undoubtedly the biggest influence in your graduate school career. The validation, or lack thereof, we receive from our advisors largely shapes our identity within, and in most cases, outside the program. One of the biggest things I've learned in graduate school is to seek multiple mentors; even those not in your department.  
 
In a final point, you must...MUST...resist 'leveling' with your cohort mates. As you probably can tell, it is mentally nauseating to seesaw back and forth about what another person has or doesn't have (e.g., I keep myself up more, I have an official RA position, I have kids so I can't possibly be a high overachiever like this person, etc). If you and your friend got together and both of you threw all of your problems in a pile for each other to see, you'd quickly grab yours back. That's just the nature of life. You can only do the best you can do, especially when you have other more pressing obligations (children).
 
I would also not be upset about keeping your distance from this relationship. Regardless whether your insecurities are to blame, you should not be in a relationship where you don't feel worthy. Good relationships feel good. This is not just limited to romantic relationships, but to all of your relationships.

Wow, a lot of interceding issues and complications in the OP.
 
Your friend is not doing anything blatantly against you from what I can tell. It seems to me that initially in your friendship, she was 'non-threatening'. Now, the relationship has evolved to where she is gaining some more self-confidence in her presence in the program, and you are envious of that. Her self-confidence could be coming attempts to compete with you, but more importantly, your perception is that the friendship playing field is no longer equal. This in part, is why you wish to know more about what is going on with her and her life. The perceived secretiveness about her life only fuels your suspicion that her actions within the department may have ulterior motives. Perhaps she does not feel comfortable discussing personal information to what are essentially co-workers. What she is doing is realizing what she needs to do to position herself favorably within and outside her department. It is obvious that a good work ethic, along with active participation in departmental affairs helps her in that regard. This is also something that you should do. Instead, you're letting your self-esteem and enviousness get in the way of your own progression.
 
As for your advisor, I can completely sympathize. Your advisor is undoubtedly the biggest influence in your graduate school career. The validation, or lack thereof, we receive from our advisors largely shapes our identity within, and in most cases, outside the program. One of the biggest things I've learned in graduate school is to seek multiple mentors; even those not in your department.  
 
In a final point, you must...MUST...resist 'leveling' with your cohort mates. As you probably can tell, it is mentally nauseating to seesaw back and forth about what another person has or doesn't have (e.g., I keep myself up more, I have an official RA position, I have kids so I can't possibly be a high overachiever like this person, etc). If you and your friend got together and both of you threw all of your problems in a pile for each other to see, you'd quickly grab yours back. That's just the nature of life. You can only do the best you can do, especially when you have other more pressing obligations (children).
 
I would also not be upset about keeping your distance from this relationship. Regardless whether your insecurities are to blame, you should not be in a relationship where you don't feel worthy. Good relationships feel good. This is not just limited to romantic relationships, but to all of your relationships.

OP, I once heard that 80% of questions are really statements in disguise. With that said, I can't help but wonder if what you term as "reverse academic snobbery" is in fact your reaction of those people not oohing and aahing over your prestigious affiliations and accolades as you feel they should be. It's almost as if how dare those with 'less formal education' (which is quite the coded language btw) not find value and subtle enviousness of my achievements, smarts and knowledge --- how are you assuming they don't have any of that themselves? I also have a very hard time believing that the main source of your interactions and conversations with these people surround them bashing your education, and if so, perhaps it is time to forcibly remove yourself from interactions with those people at all costs. I think you downplay your attributes, not as a consequence of their 'reverse academic snobbery', but it is because you realize that you cannot use that arsenal in order to make yourself level, or in most ways, feel superior to them as you internally believe you are. 

The OP's conceptualized this term "reverse academic snobbery" as a function of an individual's education level. Terribly misguided. I fully stand behind my original comment.
 
To place my position in further context, I am an academic engineer and even in a STEM field, I still face onslaughts of family and close friends who are not entirely receptive of my continuing to a PhD. The gamut runs from 'you're an engineer- why don't you go out and work', to 'you should have went to medical school', etc. And these are people with considerably less education than I. Do I think that their sometimes hurtful comments and opinions about my academic successes are a function of their lower level of education? Absolutely not. In fact, once I began to be self-effacing and honest with myself, the reason why their comments hurt so much because therein lies elements of truth. I am taking a financial risk in endeavoring for tenure track position instead of working in industry or attending medical school. I am taking a risk in family planning. I am taking a risk in my own emotional sanity and mental health. These are indisputable facts. Sometimes it is good to be around those that are not shielded by the 'life of the mind' to keep life in perspective, unless it becomes emotionally unhealthy, and in that case it is time to restrain yourself at all costs from those individuals. 

OP, I once heard that 80% of questions are really statements in disguise. With that said, I can't help but wonder if what you term as "reverse academic snobbery" is in fact your reaction of those people not oohing and aahing over your prestigious affiliations and accolades as you feel they should be. It's almost as if how dare those with 'less formal education' (which is quite the coded language btw) not find value and subtle enviousness of my achievements, smarts and knowledge --- how are you assuming they don't have any of that themselves? I also have a very hard time believing that the main source of your interactions and conversations with these people surround them bashing your education, and if so, perhaps it is time to forcibly remove yourself from interactions with those people at all costs. I think you downplay your attributes, not as a consequence of their 'reverse academic snobbery', but it is because you realize that you cannot use that arsenal in order to make yourself level, or in most ways, feel superior to them as you internally believe you are. 

OP, I once heard that 80% of questions are really statements in disguise. With that said, I can't help but wonder if what you term as "reverse academic snobbery" is in fact your reaction of those people not oohing and aahing over your prestigious affiliations and accolades as you feel they should be. It's almost as if how dare those with 'less formal education' (which is quite the coded language btw) not find value and subtle enviousness of my achievements, smarts and knowledge --- how are you assuming they don't have any of that themselves? I also have a very hard time believing that the main source of your interactions and conversations with these people surround them bashing your education, and if so, perhaps it is time to forcibly remove yourself from interactions with those people at all costs. I think you downplay your attributes, not as a consequence of their 'reverse academic snobbery', but it is because you realize that you cannot use that arsenal in order to make yourself level, or in most ways, feel superior to them as you internally believe you are. 

The OP's conceptualized this term "reverse academic snobbery" as a function of an individual's education level. Terribly misguided. I fully stand behind my original comment.
 
To place my position in further context, I am an academic engineer and even in a STEM field, I still face onslaughts of family and close friends who are not entirely receptive of my continuing to a PhD. The gamut runs from 'you're an engineer- why don't you go out and work', to 'you should have went to medical school', etc. And these are people with considerably less education than I. Do I think that their sometimes hurtful comments and opinions about my academic successes are a function of their lower level of education? Absolutely not. In fact, once I began to be self-effacing and honest with myself, the reason why their comments hurt so much because therein lies elements of truth. I am taking a financial risk in endeavoring for tenure track position instead of working in industry or attending medical school. I am taking a risk in family planning. I am taking a risk in my own emotional sanity and mental health. These are indisputable facts. Sometimes it is good to be around those that are not shielded by the 'life of the mind' to keep life in perspective, unless it becomes emotionally unhealthy, and in that case it is time to restrain yourself at all costs from those individuals. 

OP, I once heard that 80% of questions are really statements in disguise. With that said, I can't help but wonder if what you term as "reverse academic snobbery" is in fact your reaction of those people not oohing and aahing over your prestigious affiliations and accolades as you feel they should be. It's almost as if how dare those with 'less formal education' (which is quite the coded language btw) not find value and subtle enviousness of my achievements, smarts and knowledge --- how are you assuming they don't have any of that themselves? I also have a very hard time believing that the main source of your interactions and conversations with these people surround them bashing your education, and if so, perhaps it is time to forcibly remove yourself from interactions with those people at all costs. I think you downplay your attributes, not as a consequence of their 'reverse academic snobbery', but it is because you realize that you cannot use that arsenal in order to make yourself level, or in most ways, feel superior to them as you internally believe you are. 

OP, I once heard that 80% of questions are really statements in disguise. With that said, I can't help but wonder if what you term as "reverse academic snobbery" is in fact your reaction of those people not oohing and aahing over your prestigious affiliations and accolades as you feel they should be. It's almost as if how dare those with 'less formal education' (which is quite the coded language btw) not find value and subtle enviousness of my achievements, smarts and knowledge --- how are you assuming they don't have any of that themselves? I also have a very hard time believing that the main source of your interactions and conversations with these people surround them bashing your education, and if so, perhaps it is time to forcibly remove yourself from interactions with those people at all costs. I think you downplay your attributes, not as a consequence of their 'reverse academic snobbery', but it is because you realize that you cannot use that arsenal in order to make yourself level, or in most ways, feel superior to them as you internally believe you are. 

Assuming you aren't living under the bridge, you snagged quite a deal in that a part-time job could cover your living expenses in NYC. Impressive.
 
 
With that said, the question is will the demand of your field, be it industry or academia post-MA, afford you the opportunity to sacrifice either a) grades or networking opportunities in order to have temporary part-time income? Now that I think about it, I don't know of any field, regardless of how technical it is, that would give such job stability. However, some fields are better than others. If your field is ultra-competitive (and intuitively you should have some knowledge of this), then you should take best care to make sure your profile (grades, research, portfolio, etc.) is of high quality. A part-time job, especially a *few* hours every day may not seem like a lot, but when you count lectures, outside projects, readings, course papers, manuscripts, meetings, etc. those hours during the week add up. So much so that you maybe sacrificing quite a bit academically and professionally. If that is the case, it maybe better to take out a little bit extra in federal loans (if you can) and spend those part-time hours working/networking your arse off to position yourself in the most competitive place when you're done!

I'm a writer, creative and academic. I've noticed a strong correlation between "writer's block" or "muse" issues and stress. The more stress, pressure, and expectations you (and others) pile on yourself, the more difficult it is to write. I'm particuarly used to opening up a word processor document, typing away, and watching satisfactory prose make its way across the page. Sometimes, though, it changes from pleasure to chore and the only thing I read on the screen is an unspooled fishing line of syntax. I forget how to spell words like "their" and doubt every comma placement.
 
That's me, of course. I have no idea what your writing is like, beyond what I see here. You express yourself clearly and your prose is relatively clean and pleasurable. It seems to me that it's less that you can't write and more that you doubt that you can write. There are some easy-peasy ideas to fix ailing text, but I don't know what to do for ailing confidence. I never believe anyone when they tell me that I'm smart and I'm great and I'll do fantastic. All I know is that the 25 page essays that were always due at the end of the semester were more difficult to push out than the baby was all those years ago.
 
Sometimes, you just have to give yourself permission to suck. Write the essay. When you don't know what to write, fake it. Write until you've reached the end of the essay (not the end of your patience, because you've probably left that behind). Then put it away for a day, three if you can do it. Then come back and revise. That's the key to good writing: revise. Yeah, I'm in English. We revise. A lot. And then some. Hit up your writing center for some face-to-face help, too.
 
Book rec: William Zinnser's On Writing Well. I love it more than I do Strunk & White. Though, Strunk & White is still da bomb.

The only question that matters here is: do you *want* to become a mom right now? Forget what anyone else thinks. This is YOUR decision and yours alone.
 
If the answer is yes, then you should have your baby. If the answer is no, then look at your other options (and whatever you choose is OK too!). But DO NOT, under any circumstances, give up something that will make YOU happy for someone else... least of all, a professor.
 
Think of it this way. If you were male, you would not be asking yourself whether your professor thinks your wife/gf should have a baby or have an abortion. And no professor in his or her right mind would demand that she do so.
 
No professor should influence your reproductive decisions. Choose what is best for YOU.

Start collecting bed bath and beyond coupons-they take them if they are expired, too! Love their stuff for decorating! :-)