miss sisyphus

Raimunda, I too am hating grad school, so I know where you're coming from. I had a rotten childhood (physically, emotionally and verbally abused) too. People who haven't don't know how it messes with our self-esteem, coping skills, decision-making and God-knows-what-else. We are the result of our past. So we can't just "get over it." Hell, we may not even be able to identify what it is we need to get over. So, good for you for getting counseling and for taking the risks to go to graduate school in the first place. If you want to get the degree, then you have to focus on the end goal. Period. F*ck everybody else. You're not going to have to deal with those assholes after you graduate.

I was so nervous about teaching that I thought about wearing a big gaudy necklace (like Flavor Flav's clock) or a rhinestone bracelet just to take the focus off of me! I didn't, but I DID take anti-anxiety medicine. There are also over-the-counter aids like the drink Purple Stuff (I've seen it in Quick Trip gas stations) and Calming Drops (found in health food stores like Sprouts). I've also tried tapping pressure points (look up EFT on Youtube). You can use visual aids to distract them, or give them hand-outs or give them back their graded papers at the beginning of class. In fact, speakers suggest that if you want people to pay attention to you, you should NOT give them a hand out. So, just do the opposite. This is silly, but I don't correct students when they call me "professor" if it works in my favor. Some students will respect you more if they think you're a professor. Finally, just think about how you can best help your students learn. Let them know you value them. One of my students told me that I was the first "professor" to ask him if he preferred to go by a nickname. Another told me that he felt like I was the only one "in his corner." Oh, and try to have a sense of humor, too. It's hard for people to be mean when they're in a good mood. Good luck!

Hi. I took everyone's advice and asked the director of my school for a second ta-ship. I told him that as the single mother of two daughters, the expense of graduate school was becoming a financial burden and I might have to leave the program. He said he could probably offer me one for an online class, then never responded to further (polite) emails. My advisor told me that the out-of-state students get more TA-ships because it costs them more to attend an out-of-state school. I ended up taking the semester off to think about whether or not I want to continue giving my money to a school that doesn't value me.

I am in a grad program at the same university where I got my bachelor's. My advisor is my former and current professor. As an undergrad, I disappointed him by not attending a writing competition in another state. (I couldn't afford to go). As a result, rumors circulated in the department about my reliability. It's true that I turned down the competition, but the rumors included disparaging remarks about my personality as well as out-and-out lies about my behavior. When I applied for graduate school I suspect I was turned down based on these rumors. Fortunately, one of the other applicants declined admission and I was asked to take her place. I had to interview before I was accepted--which is not ordinarily part of the process. (My p/a addressed these rumors in an email before the interview.) At the interview, my p/a seemed reluctant to allow me into the program. Fortunately, another professor supported me, and I was accepted. Since then, I can't seem to please my p/a. My work has been published nationally in periodicals, and another of my pieces was published by a major publishing house. I was an arts critic for a small community newspaper and a reporter for the university's paper. Yet he says that my work isn't "graduate level." Honestly, the students in my cohort are not producing work that's any better than mine, yet they get better grades (and more TA-ships!). I told one of my cohorts about my B- grade and he was genuinely surprised and suggested I go over the p/a's head. My last complaint: I wanted to take a class offered by our state's poet laureate. I was given permission by the poet, but not by my p/a. He told me I have to take another (required) class that's offered at the same time. This required class is offered every semester. Whenever I ask him for permission to take an elective class, he says, "Is that going to help you write?" I've told him that I don't know how to choose acceptable electives and he just laughed. I could go on and on about how he plays favorites, but that would be petty and boring. Anyway, I am really hating school now. I have until the 28th to drop out and still get a full refund.Getting this degree was my dream. But maybe I can get it somewhere else? Any advice would be appreciated. Am I just being a big baby or do I have a legitimate complaint? Help!

Hi everyone. I'm in my second year of an MFA program. I'm fortunate that I've been given a TA-ship every semester that pays for most of my tuition. However, there are a couple of other students in my cohort who have been given at least two TA-ships per semester (one of them currently has three!). I've asked how to go about getting another one and was told by two people (including the student who has three) that there just aren't any. I should add that I've received complimentary emails from my students regarding my teaching. One of them said I changed her mind and that of some others about the program. I forwarded the email to my advisor, who told me to share it with the head of the department. So, those in charge know I'm doing a good job. What's up? Did these other students cut some kind of deal? I suppose I could ask them, but I don't know how to approach the subject without sounding resentful. Which, frankly, I am. I'm not happy with my program any more for reasons which I'll be posting on another board. (Fair warning!) Any insight/advice? Thanks!