Trilobite

So you agreed even though you really don't, since his view that being a parent now would suck while you think it would be awesome. In other words, you lied. By admitting that he is against pregnancy termination, he showed his cards and would have been helpless in case of "oops" pregnancy - lucky he got away. Maybe you weren't compatible, except you weren't since your goals are, once again, timed massively differently and only you knew this. And you never admitted it to him. Another shining example of honesty. So you place huge importance on having someone you can show off to your friends, like a new car, rather than someone of character with similar interests or social mores. This is why some men have decided to avoid dating and relationships in college and graduate school. The risk is not worth the benefit, since a too-significant amount of women have ulterior (selfish) motives in relationships, which they keep carefully hidden under a mask of similarity (in opinion, interests, etc). It's a shame that some of us have experienced this problem to such an extent as to avoid something which should be relaxing, fun, and constructive - and when done right, is very rewarding to both parties. Investing the same time in hobbies usually turns out to be the most relaxing and productive leisure activity when compared to dating. [disclaimer: dishonest behaviour can go both ways in relationships, but this is not relevant to the OP] It seems that you are only looking for a cookie cutter man that will 1, provide genetic material on a 2-4 year time scale; 2, provide bragging rights to your girlfriends; and it would be unsurprising for 3, provide financial support. Be up front about what you want. If it doesn't work, it wouldn't have - so you just saved a huge amount of time. Any man coerced into having a family too early (for him) will not be cooperative for very long. --edit-- Wow. Please do the "really nice big" fellow a favour and dump him. You already aren't happy with his physique and want him to improve (or you will likely eventually dump him). Why not attract someone who already has status and looks? It might require self improvement. Good luck.

At the very least, cut off the flow of valuable info. Secretively accumulate research and ideas to publish later. Get out of there as soon as possible. Reporting her for this abhorrent behaviour could be beneficial or backfire, and remember that most people who have worked with her (such as faculty, department heads) will know she is scum unless she hides it well with superiors and other profs. Keep in mind that people such as your PI have personality disorders, and involving higher authorities could make them more destructive (i.e., spreading misinformation about you to damage your reputation in the academic community). As much as justice would be nice, sometimes it is just easier to stay polite, quiet, and plan an exit strategy that is most beneficial to you (such as keeping all new research to yourself). I've been through this with a collaborator who tried to churn out drafts first so that he would be 1st author. Best of luck