Hello all, thank you for your responses.
I do in fact know a lot about psychology. I am studying neuroscience among many other topics and feel that neuroscience is a bit too 'cold' while psychology is a bit too 'black box'-like. I've also had a lot of psychotherapy/ treatment myself to overcome life difficulties and bad habits, but I don't think any of the conventional therapy has really helped me. I'm not saying that it's not beneficial for anyone; I just don't think it is right for me. A patient never fails treatment; treatment failed to help a patient-- especially when the patient is entirely willing and dying to change.
I've worked in labs-- immunology, neuroscience/behavioral, and neurology/psychology--over the past 6 years, so I definitely know what the lifestyle is like. I remember my first impression of research after working a few weeks of my first research assistantship was "Wow.. this is so boring. I can't imagine myself living like this everyday." I need something more active, engaging, and personal. After all, there's a reason why researchers drink so much coffee.
People who go into a field usually (not always... but usually) do not question the legitimacy of the foundations of the field. For example, American culture emphasizes the value of autonomy, but is there really free will? Do people really have the ability to exercise executive control and override impulses? Does the body not affect the mind more than the 'mind' affect the body? The Cartesian concept I am referring to is that of mind-body dualism. I believe we need a more holistic approach, for example, embodied cognition and co-consciousness. Instead of thinking the ego is the locus of consciousness, we must think of a self-consciousness that has origins in our social spheres. I encourage you all to watch Rowan William's lecture on Empathy. Youtube for the Tanner Lecture 2014.
I want to go into medicine so terribly because I want to help on an individual level, but I love research as well. I don't know why I am so torn.. I could always do something like an MD-PhD, I suppose. More coursework... more tuition... Sigh.