Cosmojo

Thanks, I do WANT to, and plan on it, I think this has just been a rough summer. I'm not far behind in my research, I'm actually very successful....which is why this feeling is hard for me. Need to find that source of motivation.

Most of us at one time or another will go through a really tough time in grad school and really struggle, and maybe think about quitting. Maybe you will get so far as to apply for jobs or tell others you are leaving- but you end up staying (or not). How do you tell the difference between it being just a rough period and knowing it should be done? This is both a general question and a personal one. I've come to the start of my 3rd year and although I feel I am successful in my research and that I really do love what I research, I feel that it is just so much harder than it should be. I have hit a point with my PI that he isn't really being helpful, he isn't mean or rude, just absent. There is no one in my research area really at my university besides him and a few other profs who are absolutely never around, and I'm the only student in my research group right now. Its just so hard to know if I could leave and be happy and never regret it, or if this is just a phase and I just need to get motivated again.

Well I'm sure many of us have heard it before, the 2-body problem is a hard one to solve. My significant other (SO) is great. SO currently has a great job, works from home and is the primary breadwinner, which isn't really saying much when you are on a stipend. SO has supported me through degree after degree,all over the country, and has been really selfless about it. There has always been an understanding that when I am done with my degree that I will try and find a job in a location SO wants to be, and that we will try and settle down so that SO can complete his degree. This is an issue when I think about the fact that I might have to take a postdoc or 2 and then a "real job" but I can't imagine that we are the first couple to deal with this. How do I get a job I want, and settle down? Is there a way to avoid the location jumping-hopefully without leaving research? We cannot be the first people to struggle with this, experiences and stories please!

I cried in my advisors office today, just a little like a single tear, but still. I have some chronic health issues and basically I'm dealing with this new set of symptoms and I was trying not to let it interfere with my work and now it is. So I had to tell him about it, he was so nice and understanding, but I still feel terrible. I have cluster migraines and when they get really bad I get aphasia, so when I have a migraine coming on I slur my words, and I can barely read or write until the migraine is over, but what is the worst part is usually at the time what I'm writing looks fine to me. I could write a sentence that is suppose to be "my dog loves to play in the park" but what everyone else would see is "my dog love paly on the pack" so basically I've been turning in work that is gibberish recently and only noticing it once my migraine is over. Anyways he was nice and said that I should take the time I need and that he would keep that in mind as I turn work in and if anyone approaches him about the quality of my work he would explain it to them, but still, really stinks. I know that now I know I can take the time I need to rest and not stress about getting work done fast it will be ok, but I still feel like a disappointment. Oh graduate school, I'm never good enough. I did pass my oral qualifier this week though! yay me! committee said I did a really good job and they will see me when I go to defend in 2-3 years

I want babies, and their chubby little faces and all the tiny little clothes. I want the racket and the mess and the snuggles. What I struggle with is how I feel I can't have academia and that. Almost all my mentors are men and have stay at home wives. Well as a straight woman I will never have a stay at home wife....and my fiance is the career minded type as well- except we both want kids. I feel selfish, that if I choose career I am putting down something in me that is very instinctual, but if I choose to be a mom that I am not living up to my potential, or worse even not being a good mom by never being around and putting my job ahead of my family. Optimistically, I'll be done with a Ph.D. at 26, done with post doc at 28, established in a job at 30- do I really need to wait that long too feel like its ok for me to have children because heavens knows it would be looked down upon if I did it now.

Yes, it is possible to have multiple interests I have a dual bachelors that I completed simultaneously. One in Japanese Studies, one in Physics. I am currently pursuing my Ph.D. in physics. I almost went to graduate school for Japanese studies though, I'm still not sure why I didn't, maybe because I didn't feel my language fluency was as good as some of my peers. I dont think it is strange to have more than one strong academic interest, if there is more than one thing that gets you excited I think you are probably just an academic type who loves to learn. As long as once you enter a graduate program you can set your other interests aside to really focus on one for awhile you will be fine. In terms of "thinking of other specialties" I wouldn't worry about that...research evolves through a lifetime. One of the people who first theorized that the universe started in big bang scenario was trained as a civil engineer and then went to seminary before moving to physics.

feel better! I hope you are ok. best of luck with everything.

Today is not my day. Got rejected for 2 fellowships, one yesterday one today, which isn't really that big of a deal, but rejection always hurts a bit. Car check engine light went in on my way to work, I just paid ~$1000 to have it fixed last month. My stipend is certainly not big enough for these type of car problems. My advisor stood me up for our meeting today. Having a major data issue and my dissertation proposal is due very soon. There was a nasty bug in my shower this morning.

Dear 2015 NDSEG Applicant, Thank you for your interest in the National Defense Science and Engineering Graduate (NDSEG) Fellowship Program. The selection process was very thorough and your application was reviewed by many experts in your discipline. Unfortunately, your application was not selected for an award during the 2015 application evaluation process. NDSEG is very competitive and there were many more qualified applicants than could be funded. Unfortunately, we are not able to provide any feedback on your application, but please feel free to contact us if you have any other questions. We wish you well in your academic endeavors and thank you again for your interest in the NDSEG Fellowship Program. Sincerely, The NDSEG Program Team at ASEE

yea I do solar/space physics. The Navy (of all people) do a ton of research in my area.

http://www.eng.umd.edu/sites/default/files/research/2013-writing-successful-dod-fellowship-app.pdf this person talks about evaluating for both SMART and NDSEG and gives tips, I think I had some found something about the review process somewhere else but I can't find it right now.

yea so you are ranked on that point system, I can post a full explanation from a former reviewer if ppl are curious. then some top percentile, maybe 40% (not sure how this varies field to field) are sent to the DoD, and then they are matched by research from there from what I understand, not percentile, so you basically have to make the top percentile and then be interesting, but being the top 1% is not necessarily any better than being the top 30%.

Thanks for calling, I'm hoping because they announced fairly earliesh last year, and they seem to announce soon after NSF that it will be end of this week or next, which isn't too bad. At least we have each other to commiserate with. Yes, anything is possible. NDSEG is a little more about if the DoD is interested in your research, obviously there is a talent component to it but still at the end of the day its a crapshoot. NDSEG's website says on average 10% of applicants are awarded. Do the math, thats a smaller percentage than NSF who this year awarded ~12.5%. Fellowships take a decent amount of skill and a whole lot of luck.

Yea I had a terrible reviewer situation for NSF...arg. Come on DoD!!!

its up