mathsnotmath

I'm doing that very thing now. I was contacted on the department list-serv by the tenant/grad student after I had made a "looking" post. After I said I was interested in the house, he gave my information to his landlord, a former English professor. We communicated via email and phone about various things. I was unable to travel to the city to look at the house in person, as it was graduation week. I received pictures from the student-tenant of the whole inside of the house. Finally, we agreed to be landlord/tenant and signed a lease. I gave him the deposit and when I move in will provide him with a rental check. This was a pretty safe bet, but there were a few things I did to make sure the house in the pictures was a real place. First, I went to the department website and looked at the grad students to make sure the student I was talking to was an actual grad student, although he had access to the list-serv and I was reasonably assured he was. Next, I searched the address on Google and Zillow which both have pictures of the outside of the property. Finally, I went to the real property records of the county, which were online, and did a search of the property to make sure it was owned by the person I had been talking to on the phone and via email. I ended up with a nice house in a historic area within blocks of campus.

The other thing is to try to negotiate a short lease. 
I was able to negotiate a 6 mo lease on a new place that I wasn't sure about when I first moved to my grad school city. I figured with that short of a lease, I could either eat the cost of leaving early if it was horrible, or make due for a short period of time.

I've done this when I had someone I trusted see the place in person and take pictures or a video. It worked out, but there are obvious risks. There was always a reputable management company that I could read up on online, not just a private person. First time I signed electronically and gave the deposit when I arrived (I was overseas). More recently I signed electronically and mailed the deposit check and first month's rent. 

I did when I moved to my first post-grad school job. It wasn't worth the cost to fly back and look at places. That said, I did have some of my department colleagues check the place out, and I was renting from someone they referred me to. Was still a bit of a leap in the dark, but I signed the lease/sent the first months rent and deposit, and it turned out to be quite nice.
I think the keys are making sure the landlord is reputable, making sure the lease is good, and getting someone to go see the place for you.

Yeah, then go with fuzzylogician's advice. Get as much first hand info as you can. I would also recommend on reading up on tenants rights and building standards. In most cases I would guess it's not necessary but better safe than sorry eh

Uh, no. The comment was inappropriate and misogynistic. Joke or not, this is not a place for these kind of comments. And this is coming from a guy...

7 replies and nobody has bothered to ask for the relevant data in this situation?  
 
Pictures, man. We need to see pictures of this girl before we advise on the correct course of action.

I just want to throw out that most of my professors are married to non-academics. All their partners are ambitious and intellectually engaged in their own ways, and I think that's more important than having a PhD. One is married to another academic in a completely different field, and they somehow manage to bridge the divide and occasionally coteach (my prof's husband is in a science field and she's a historian).

I get why you're concerned about dating a non-academic. My concern is dating someone who doesn't understand my busy schedule, my mental exhaustion at the end of the day, my work load, how obsessed I am with my field and studies--even more troubling is dating someone who doesn't feel strongly and passionately about what they're doing, whatever that may be, or someone who doesn't "think deeply." However, I think it's important to keep an open mind. While I find myself drawn to people who are going through similar things academically, I don't think it's fair to assume others are incapable of understanding your situation and contributing to a relationship.

Ok this doesn't apply only to grad school but life in general. To make friends, you have to be available  -  not just by having spare time but actively engaging people and activities. The easiest thing you can do is to ask the people around you if they would like to go for a drink. Try saying something like "this has been a long day, I need a drink - wanna come?". I think that people may be more likely to go for booze but you can try coffee or lunch too. If they say no, don't be on them to schedule an appointment - just be like ok cool, see ya later. Do not be pushy and actually go get that drink, even if it is alone! Requiring more effort but perhaps more satisfying is to join a group of some sort. Since you are having little luck with your peers, you may be better off doing something non-school related like a class at the gym, or joining some kind of hobbyist group or sports team or like a hiking group or whatever. Volunteering is also a good way of meeting new people. In all of those situations you could easily ask people if they want to get food or a drink after the activity. If they ask you out, say yes more than you say no! Be cool not creepy. Do not ask vague questions like "so what do you do on saturday nights" rather say "hey do you want to come over for dinner on saturday night". It just takes meeting one or two people. By the way (assuming you are a guy) do not expect that the first girl you befriend is going to be your lover <---- this is very important. Don't even let your mind go there because you could sabotage your chance at having a persistent friend group.

This "dating inside your department" topic comes up frequently here. If you are mature, level-headed, and even-keeled I think it's manageable. (btw, if you aren't mature, level-headed, and even-keeled, you should be working on that before you start dating).

Everybody is different, and only you can know how you would react in professional situations with somebody you dated and then broke up with. Let's say your significant other broke your heart. Do you have the strength and maturity to act professionally and separate you personal life in conferences, presentations, etc? If the answer is no, then look elsewhere for love.

Haha...that's good too, and wise, although the less rounding up we have to do the better.

I find this to be sickeningly elitist and snobbish.