anotherapplicantanotherapp

if there is any consolation anotherapplicantanotherapp, i'm 100% with you and your initial assessment of the situation would have been the same exact same as mine. my husband runs his own business and he has taught me how to follow your gut in situations like this. at least in the business world/office politics, it is incredibly common for people to do things and then "pretend" they didn't happen or make sure to use other people/fake email accounts/etc. to do their dirty work so they can at least have some sort of plausible deniability excuse. 
 
i may entertain the possibility that this person's boyfriend acted of his own accord if there had been some sort of apology or reaching out on her behalf. had my husband done something like this i would have probably slapped him right that moment because of just how ratchet that kind of behaviour is. but the convenient sequence of events  that you described and her apparent lack of response seemed just too convenient to me for this to just be an accident of sorts. 
 
i personally would confront her in private before going all the way. like "hey, i'm not stupid here. if there's anything you need to say say it now to my face". 

Fuzzy logician, you are really, really unhelpful. I discussed a completely unrelated issue with the harassment office at my university once before. I was mistaken in thinking that that office also served as the Title IX Office. 
 
I also did not know what you meant when you said it sounded like a Northwestern case brewing. I have not been following the Northwestern case recently, and I only knew about Northwestern's policy update and Kipnis's response. I was assuming that was what you were talking about at first, and I only found out about the Title IX retaliation complaints brought against Kipnis later on, after this thread had been going on for a while.
 
I do not think it is in any way disrespectful of me to delete a post when people are jumping to unreasonable conclusions about me and my character, based on the limited information I provided. I thought there used to be a way to delete a post shortly after posting, if the poster decided that he or she had provided too much personal information, but I guess I was mistaken.
 
I do not appreciate the responses I have received, though, regardless of the precious time that the posters devoted, and I do wish there was a way to delete this thread or at least my account. Maybe there is a way to delete my account, and I am just not seeing it?
 
In the meantime, continue the discussion about terrible students who abuse Title IX if you must, but stop referring to me. That problem has absolutely nothing to do with me, and I find these accusations abusive.
 
Also, please remember that it was not my idea to use the term "Title IX Office," and that in saying that's where I would go, I was just echoing rising_star's advice and trying to sound agreeable. It was my intention to do my own research and figure out the appropriate reporting venue at my university, not to actually, blindly march into the Title IX Office and tell them my story. 

Quick question: why are you trying to hold the professor responsible for the actions of her boyfriend? It seems like you could report this to the local police as assault or harassment but that would be regarding the boyfriend, since he's the one that actually yelled the offensive language at you and dumped the glass of water on your head. That said, it's unlikely anything would happen if you went that route. 
 
Another option would be to report it to your university's Title IX coordinator. They may or may not investigate since the incident occurred off-campus. That would probably be the route I would go. But again, I question why it is that you are trying to "get the professor in trouble" when the professor is not the one who actually did these things. Also, from what you've posted, your observation that this professor hates you is completely unfounded. Their boyfriend may hate you but, there's no clear evidence that the professor hates you.

The fact that you can claim that you: 
- have a fair amount of experience with your university's Title IX office
- know that submitting a complaint does not initiate legal proceedings
- know that they will refer you to the correct office
- know that the first step is to contact the Dean's office
suggests to me that you may have a history of over/mis-interpreting your professors' actions and perhaps filing complaints that are not found justified. Perhaps the fact that those of us who were able to read your original post found your reading of the situation somewhat misguided can help you rethink why you want to file this complaint against a person who I believe you called a mentor in your (now deleted) original post, and whether or not it's warranted.
 
  You cannot control what people post in this thread, despite the fact that you started it. Everyone is allowed to post their opinion, and as long as the language is not offensive, it is perfectly fine for there to be disagreements. Discussions can naturally develop in different direction and our priority is to both facilitate the current discussion and ensure that the advice is relevant for future board members as well (and therefore the fact that you deleted your original post after receiving thoughtful feedback is against our board policies, and frankly quite disrespectful to the people who took the time to read and comment on your post). If you feel like the conversation no longer contributes to your situation, you can choose not to participate in it anymore.

Legally, they cannot refer you elsewhere if you make a title IX complaint without being in violation of the federal Title IX statutes. You may know your office, but if they're doing what you say, they're not following the federal guidelines.
 
Similarly, I'm a bit confused- you say you feel justice was served (Kipnis was found to not be in any violation), but then you feel disgusted that Northwestern didn't make a statement against Kipnis.
 
I don't know any academic that isn't completely dumbfounded by the complete attack on freedom of speech shown through the Title IX office on a professor publishing in a reputable journal. If we risk censure for discussing controversial issues, academia will die a fast death.

How exactly is the university supposed to prevent someone who doesn't work for them from yelling at you in a bar? I'm asking this seriously because this is the same question that the university is going to be asking itself when they hear from you about this incident. What happened in the bar was not between you and a university employee. It was between you and an employee's boyfriend. If the boyfriend doesn't work for them, how are they supposed to prevent such a thing from occurring? If you want to make sure that the boyfriend cannot harass you again, you need to work with the local police, not an office on campus. 
 
@Eigen, the original post referenced some language that implied that this might have been gender-based harassment (e.g., sexual language being yelled at someone). That is why I suggested going to the Title IX office since those offices are well-equipped to deal with such harassing incidents. 
 
While going to the Title IX office is not the same as a legal complaint, it does initiate certain protocols. The "Dear Colleagues" letter from the OCR obligates colleges & universities to investigate all Title IX complaints they receive to determine whether or not a violation has occurred and to do so quickly (within 60 days). Whether or not they can "figure it out" is entirely dependent on the investigators. It may be difficult for them to prove that there is a link between an email you sent to a professor and an incident with the professor's boyfriend off-campus. You should prepare yourself for that outcome, anotherapplicantanotherapp. 

Thanks, all. I guess there is a lot of background to this case that I did not give--and do not want to give on here. And, in light of the responses I've gotten, I deleted my original post. I do not think there is anything wrong with filing a complaint with the Title IX office for the threatening and humiliating situation I experienced as a result of an email I sent to a professor. I believe I have a right to express myself and my concerned to my professors, as a student at my institution, and that I should not have to endure verbal abuse or physical intimidation as a result. I believe that the Title IX office is capable of figuring out if and how to deal with the situation and that there is no harm or shame at all in my decision to report them incident.

anotherapplicant, as fuzzylogician points out, the boyfriend is an individual with agency. He may have been acting on his own or based on (mis)information he got from his girlfriend. You cannot know that. All you are doing is assuming that she hates you, got her boyfriend to yell at you, etc. Now, as someone that has had some terrible interactions with students and even disliked several, I can honestly say that I never sent anyone to do anything malicious to them. I may have vented to others but, even then, I wasn't actually naming the students so one would have to put together several bits of information to figure out who I was talking about. What you're describing is gross misconduct on your professor's part but also something that you have absolutely zero hard evidence of. As fuzzylogician has said, you should think carefully about why you're doing this, what you hope to come of this, etc.
 
It seems like you're pissed off by what the boyfriend did and trying to punish the professor for the actions of her partner. That is illogical and irresponsible of you. If you want to hold the boyfriend accountable, then do that. Cite the boyfriend as the issue in your complaints (to the police or to the Title IX coordinator). If you go the Title IX route, technically your name will be kept confidential however, given that the incident happened in public, it's likely the professor will figure out very quickly who filed the complaint. If you are mistaken and the professor doesn't actually hate you, this could change her opinion of you. Just food for thought.

i bet my brownies that your prof sent her bf over so she could circumvent any responsibility for those actions...
 
 
... now i sometimes wonder how come stuff like this never happens to me? the most salacious piece of gossip i've heard in my program so far is just someone who forgot to lock her office on a Friday and remained unlocked ALL WEEKEND. nothing was taken from the office though #truestory

Your story doesn't mention even one action that the professor did wrong. She didn't ask you questions about the conversation the chair had with you and what you said, she wasn't pressuring you to do or say anything, she wasn't the one who had any contact with you at the restaurant. We have no evidence that she told her boyfriend to yell at you or dump the water on you, and she certainly didn't do those things. She is not responsible for the actions of another adult. You say this happened weeks ago and you haven't had any more recent contact with her. I am not sure what makes you suddenly think that she is unstable or dangerous. How would you know she hates you if you have had no contact with her? This seems unfounded to me. Frankly, I am concerned about your assertion that you want to get her into trouble because of this perceived opinion you think she has of you, and I hope that you will think long and hard before you take action that could damage a person's career for no concrete reason.