A. sesquipedale

1. If you have 10 hours to spend applying to grad programs and can either spend 1 hour on each program, totaling 10 programs, or spend 2 hours on each program and really learn more about your POIs' research and are better able to express fit as a result, apply to 5. My educated guess based on my experience, is that a crappy application that isn't tailored very well doesn't get who you are applying to work with very excited about the thought of bringing you on.

Fun thread! Here are a few of my own. Yo mama so dumb, she thought grad school was short for gradual school, and so at the recruitment weekend she did everything in slow motion. Yeeeeeeeeesss IIIIIIII Woooooouuuuuulllld liiiiiikeeeee aaaaaa broooochuuureeeee. Yo mama so dumb, she studied 8 months to pass the GRE mouse tutorial by trying to teach her pet mouse math. Yo mama so hideous, she’s doing her ethology dissertation on all the snakes in her hair. Yo mama so round, grad students outline her body with a giant pencil to draw perfect circles.

Oh no. I posted in the Chuck Norris thread. Twice. I'm Dooooooooooooooooomed.

E-mailed POI at U Penn to ask for an update. All interview invites have been extended, he thinks, and says it is very unlikely there will be a second round.

awesome post, I feel the same sometimes!

I heard (from a professor there) UBC Social typically starts reviewing around mid to late Jan. That is all I know.

This is my second attempt as well. My first go I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't narrow down my research interests enough, I didn't convey fit at all. My SOP was all over the place because my interests were too. This year I did everything I could to improve my app. So far I have yet to hear from any school, but I'm more optimistic than last year, that is for sure.

Nice everyone! Keep 'em coming for the laughs. I made a few more: 11. Chuck Norris is the only tenured professor who publishes nothing but photocopies of his fists. 12. Professors have beards because they want to be more like Chuck Norris. 13. Chuck Norris: “If you think you understand the Roundhouse Kick, you don’t understand the Roundhouse Kick.” 14. Chuck Norris got a 1600 on the GRE and all he did was the mouse tutorial. 15. Chuck Norris doesn’t have to mail his GRE scores. He merely picks up copies and throws them in the general direction of each school, and they arrive. 16. Chuck Norris would never write an SOP because it is also a noun. Sop: a weak-willed and spineless person. If Norris so much as wrote these three letters down, the sheer contradiction of his awesome power with such a weak word would cause the universe to implode. 17. The Big Bang was really Chuck Norris trying something new on his Bunsen burner in science class. Oh, a universe. Oops. 18. Chuck Norris doesn't fill out snail mail or online applications. He communicates his apps right to the dean telepathically. 19. Chuck Norris experiments on his own brain by punching himself in the head through his skull and pinching individual neurons till they fire so he can see the effect on his behavior. As of this date each of the 30,000 neurons studied all activate the Roundhouse Kick. 20. Chuck Norris couldn’t bring his own hands into the ETS testing center because they are more advanced mathematical tools than any known calculator.

Same here. The positives thread will be my demise.

1. Chuck Norris doesn’t apply for grants. He applies for wishes, and they are granted. 2. Chuck Norris doesn’t struggle with cognitive dissonance, the entire universe conforms to his troubled views until there is resolution. 3. Chuck Norris is made up of a 100 trillion tiny Chuck Norrises all functioning not so he can survive and reproduce, but so that he can Chuck Norris. 4. Darwin almost named his book, On the Origin of Norris 5. Chuck Norris doesn’t use statistics, because he doesn’t have to run a study, because he doesn’t have to know, because he already does. 6. There is no homunculus that gives rise to consciousness; there is only a tiny Chuck Norris living in every brain. 7. Chuck Norris is his own dissertation committee. 8. Chuck Norris is universally rejected from every school he applies to because no one can afford his $1,337 a minute stipend. 9. Chuck Norris is going to grad school to study Chuck Norris, for which he has already been told he will win the Nobel Prize. 10. Chuck Norris only attends a university if they are willing to change their name to the Iniversity of Norris. Wow I feel so corny! But that was fun, thanks for the thread

10. Chuck Norris didn't get into any Eco/Evo program because no professors was willing to buy the idea that the mass extinction of dinosaurs was due to chuck norrisaurus and no meteor. that one gave me a chuckle nice work! Chuck Norrisaurus!

Hi psychapplicant, Mind saying who your POI at Oregon was? I applied to Oregon to work wtih Azim Shariff, haven't heard a peep. You can PM me if you'd like or, I also understand if for the sake of anonymity you cannot say. Thanks either way! And a huge congrats!

I have a website, well it is set up as a blog now (I'm not in grad school, yet!?). But I use Bluehost and haven't had a problem with their service though I'm sure any well regarded web host would do just as good. Basically I use cPanel which comes with the option of pre-loading stuff. I didn't want to take the time to learn coding to build a site from the ground up when there were professionally done free templates and tools which still allow for a lot of customization while looking nice. I had to mess with some code here and there but everything I needed to learn was online on some web page FAQ or another. I'm looking at cPanel now under the website tools, well, I was going to summarize but I will just copy and paste an example of one of the website building tools for you: concrete5 is a free building material for the web. Working with a web designer or pre-existing theme, you can create and easily change the content and structure of your website with concrete5. Want to change something on your website? Go to the page, click the edit button, make your changes, and preview or post. Done - it's just that easy. Safe Add-ons Engage with your audience by adding forms, surveys, guestbooks - you name it! concrete5 comes with blocks for most of the stuff you'll need, but if you want something more our marketplace is full of well tested and fully supported add-ons that you can easily install without being a rocket scientist. ETC. That was copy and pasted from my cPanel. Keep in mind apart from my own site, I have very limited knowledge about the best way of going about a site, I think there are free hosts as well, though I am uncertain of their reliability. Let me know if you have any more questions!

baited hook

me too! I have been for like two weeks.