So, counting UPenn, I'm on two wait lists now. I'm constantly really tightly wound with all this uncertainty (and I'm a tightly wound person as it is!) and am developing this compulsive exercise disorder because I'm so charged with nervous energy all the time. What makes the UPenn wait list more frustrating than my other wait list is that UPenn is offering to pay for a campus visit and to introduce me to professors and students as though I were a normal admitted PhD candidate and I, being a chump, will probably take them up on it, and I'm very much afraid of being he who gave all his heart and lost. The funny thing is, I also have a two acceptances at wonderful programs, and I feel like a greedy bastard for even caring about UPenn, but this decision is hard enough as it is and I want to turn down the school(s) I'm going to turn down as soon as possible so that other people suffering on wait lists might get a little relief (and a modicum of certainty for myself would also be nice).
Anyway, since it seems like the other two people in UPenn limbo with me are on the results board, and since I know I have even more Leidensgenossen at other schools and in other programs on other wait lists, here's a link for the waiting song I'm listening to. I hope you guys like Brazilian music. There's a very nice line: "The wait is difficult, but while I wait I dream" (another version of the song has "while I wait I samba"):