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Mayur Kulkarni

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  1. Hi La Rosa, I have some advices for you :-) Firstly, you need to work on supporting examples and try to elaborate. What I do while writing essays is stick to "PREP" model, (1)P - Point What's the main point/claim you want to make. Elaborate your point here. (2)R- Reason A specific reason of why you are making a point. (3)E- Example Example(s) supporting your claim. (4)P- Point (Summary) Summarize the point you made in step 1 succinctly. For instance how I'd make a point in your previous essay : Curriculum in designed in numerous ways in different nations, few of them allow students to choose their subjects or electives during the later stages of high school, while few others totally lack in providing this flexibility, and have a common curriculum until a student enters college. The later would be less beneficent since children learn in numerous way, some may learn through reading, some through writing. Standardizing a curriculum including/excluding certain aspects may hinder the learning process of children. For instance, Einstein was a wonderful violinist and often solved the most intricate problems in his mind while playing music. It is also a well known fact that Leonardo Da Vinci was much more than artist; he was a scientist and inventor and an anatomist. In sum, providing a flexible curriculum will furnish students with options and will let students learn their own way. (2) Structuring: How I'd structure my essay : Para 1 - Intro Para 2 - For Para 3 - For Para 4 - Challenge my own claims (beginning like : However blah blah blah point holds, it is also true that blah blah blah) Para 5- Conclusion (3) Avoid excess use of words like "I". Instead of explicitly mentioning that I disagree , or I agree, or I support, let that be implied through your points. Hope that help Cheers, Mayur
  2. Thank you very much Vince :-) I'll keep that in mind from next time
  3. Actually this thought crossed my mind, but I was representing media as an entity that focuses attention vs reformers.
  4. Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Society right from the inception, have been dogged by scandals. Scandals depict horrifying, immoral, dishonest behavior of people with high reputation, which quickly grabs media's attention. Media does it's job well in exaggerating certain issue to gain publicity. Social reformers on the other hand try to find solution of a certain problem and try to alter the condition in the society for its well being. Whenever a scandal surfaces, atrocities like murder, drug abuse, rape cases are broadcasted by media without thinking about it's consequences and effects on children. Because these organisations are hungry for TRP and believe what they are showing is 'truth'. Many a times to spice things up they alter numbers in a fraudulent case , ask slanderous questions, make derogatory remarks against a reputed organisation/person. For instance, recently Zee media was fined $100,000 for asking personal questions to the Prime Minister and flashing the same in their TV advertisement, a failed attempt to lure people and make them watch their channel. Media should act responsibly and should not misuse its power for its own self. Secondly, it doesnt care about the consequences. The suspects who are involved in a crime yet to get convicted often end up being publicly harrased. For instance, parents who were suspected in the murder of their 12-year old daughter (Who later on were found innocent) were beaten up by their own family and the same was broadcasted on television. Hence, the had to live an isolated life. Instead of just making public aware of the information, it should try to find a solution. Social reformers on the other hand are educated people who have high values and morales. They have high tendancy to change things. More than that, what's more important is they truly want to change the society in which they live. They make rigourous analysis of how a specific situation can be dealt with and have no thoughts for their own benefit. For instance, Arvind Kejrival, who was an ordinary person and an IIT(Indian Institute of Technology, #1 institute in Asia) passout who earned millions left his job for social service. He gather people of similar thinking (Now known as the Aam Aadmi Party) and became chief minister of the capital of India. A exemplar of how an ordinary man could change the society if he wished so. Many social reformers like Raja Ram Mohan Roy have led profoud impact on the Indian society. Raja Ram addressed the issue of widows who were treated condescendingly by the society and made efforts to change this mentality of the people, and also lost his life doing the same. Reformers like Vidyasagar corroborated the same ideology and took it a step further. Vidyasagar had his own son marry a widow, hence people could look up at such people as idols. Such people made true efforts to change the society, now after 200 years we live to see it's consequences. However, sometimes reformers may fail to lay a deep impact on society and/or a particular movement may fade with time. Since the reach of media is far beyond than that of reformers they may lack in spreading out the message. For instance, the recent movement by Anna Hazare to pass an anti corruption bill eventually faded away beacuse of lack of support. In sum, above paragraphs are clear indication of how the negative side of media (which tries to focus peoples attention) far outweighs its positive side. One should bear in mind, only attention is not enough to change the thinking of people in society but certain measures must be taken which is excellently done by social reformers.
  5. You need to practice more, and try to elaborate your points instead of writing numerous small paragraphs. When I first started practicing essays I was about the same level as you are now (I won't say I am an elite now) after practicing about 30-35 essays when I re-read those essays which I had initially written they seemed quite funny, because as you practice you're level starts increasing so the key point in AWA is practicing and reading nice articles that'll furnish your knowledge. Practice more essays and come back at this one and you'll notice a significant increase in your level. Hope this helps Mayur
  6. Oh , thanks Vince. I am a non native English speaker so I kind of suck at essay writing (I am practicing 2 essays from the pool daily). Any tips/advices you'd like to gimme ?
  7. Who knows! Folks at MIT are a bit crazy ;-)
  8. Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I used to fail in numerous subjects.But on the other hand , my friends used to top the class. Now they are employees at Microsoft and I am the owner of it". This was quoted by Bill Gates at his speech at Harvard. During his education , if Harvard would have kicked him for not scoring well or for not doing well in his academics, he would have hardly be the person now he is. Education plays a crucial role in development in one's life. And educational institutions have tremendous amount of experience and may have the ability to judge if a person is likely to succeed in a specific field. But I believe, it shouldn't dissuade student from choosing a specific path in career. First and foremost, no matter how omniscient a person is he has no right to judge ability of any other person. Abilities may vary from person to person, and educational institutes are no astrologers. What they can do is have certain tests and judge people on its basis, but a single sheet of paper cannot decide the future of an individual.A person may be terrible initially but may outperform others later. For instance, Albert Einstein was autistic and could speak and listen properly till the age of 14. His teachers, including his parent believed he won't be of much use to his family as they were financially backward and believed Albert Einstein would be able to earn bread for them. But later on as the time passed he refuted the rudimentary principles of physics led by polymath Isaac Newton and turned out to be the smartest person ever. However, I believe by virtue of experience, Educational institutions should arrange certain programs and provide platform to people to test their intellectual abilities and let an individual decide whether or not pursue a program. Like for instance, born and brought up in country like India, poverty is huge social evil to fight against. Right at the very beginning of our careers, that is at school we are told to pursue career in field like Engineering or Medical because they are believed to be opulent. Hence, even if a person is interested in playing Guitar and no matter how good he is at it, is forced to become an engineer and he, no matter how dumb he is in a Math or Physics will definitely do better since family's livelihood depends on him. Furthermore, 'success' is a very relative term. Some people may regard 'success' as financially sound, while some may think success means pursuing career in a particular field. And I believe success is something that depends on an individuals smartness, imagination and creativity.For instance, Steve Jobs dropped out of Reed College of Arts, because he believed what he is studying there doesn't make sense. Instead, he chose to attend Calligraphy classes which later on helped in designing fonts in OS X. If the institute where he applied would have refuted his application for dropping out then perhaps Mac's design wouldn't be that beautiful and flawless , or it wouldn't exist at all. In sum, educatoinal institutes should provide platform and programs to people and the decision to pursue a career in a particular field or not should be an individuals prerogative.
  9. My friend got into MIT (Computer Science) with a score of 314, he was a graduate from IIT and published 3 IEEE papers
  10. After completing a paragraph, you should read it once so that spelling errors (if any) are resolved. Few of them is alright , but if it starts hindering the flow of essay then surely its a bad impression. Goodluck! ;-)
  11. Many of my friends who appeared for GRE said they encountered not more than 2-3 questions with words they read through word lists . Right now I've studied around 900-1000 words and while solving SE,TC I nearly never encounter any words I studied. So , should I study more words and increase my vocab or practice more questions that'll give me ideas to tackle problems.
  12. Depends on your academic background. All top level universities (like M.I.T) dont even care about GRE its just a formality there. But I know people who scored better than you can got reject even in mediocre universities.
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