holycat

Maybe it's because I was never that crazy in love with NYU in particular to begin with. Too many losses in life have trained me not to pin too much hope on a single fleeting thing (which is pretty much everything under the sun). Or maybe it's my upbringing in a poor family in a developing country that's made me more practical than sentimental. Sure, it would have been sweet to work with Zadie Smith, but I can live without her. Or it could also be that, even though I am so insecure about the current state of my writing, I have a strong belief in my ability to learn/improve/flourish under minimal guidance. Not that I am expecting minimal guidance if I accept the offer from the other Program (X). Whatever the case, I just didn't feel like engaging in a back and forth. Most importantly: I don't know to which one of my principles I should attribute this, but it just felt so wrong to hold up the enthusiasm of another Program towards my work to solicit a similar response from one that's practically giving me the cold shoulder. lol. It's like Jeb Bush's "Please Clap." In any case, I've already officially declined. Yep. I did it. I clicked the link, entered my name, and checked the box. Agreed on how problematic the MFA ratings are. But they can be somewhat helpful. Wisdom of the crowd. Etc etc...HOWEVER, the faculty at Program X happen to be awesome. And the person that's been assigned to be my advisor would be the best mentor I could hope for for the sort of writing I want to do. In fact, the very fact that they assigned her to be my advisor without me mentioning any faculty member in my SoP tells me that they get me. At this point, it's possible that I've so warmed up to the idea of going there that I'm only waiting for a serious temptation; not even a mere matching offer. P.S. To the NYU wait-lister who got the early good news because I'm so inept at begging, YOU OWE ME A LATTE (NON-FAT, WITH NO FOAM)!

He/she said it's hoax.

I'll respond to a couple of posts directed at me later after work, but I just came in to say to the person that posted that fake Brown result: GOD WILL JUDGE YOU SOMEDAY! And sorry about the rejections. I'm preparing for whatever next week brings -- I'm gonna stack up on kleenex this weekend. I AM STRONG; I CAN HANDLE IT! *war dance*

You're too kind, sir/ma'am. And thank you!

That's what my mentor suggested too. But while I was happy to haggle with Nissan when I held up Toyota's offer and ended up getting 0% APR and all kinds of discounts on a young credit, this just didn't feel right. You can't force someone to be more enthusiastic about working with you. They either see your potential or they don't. The folks at the other Program that made me that awesome offer obviously see my potential and the ways in which they can help me develop it. That's good for me. Chemistry is important as we look for the sort of guidance we need as budding writers. That's what I should be going after instead of chasing the clouds. I think.

Thank you for the kind words. But everyone that gets into NYU gets at least half tuition. Unless we're considering the very fact of being accepted a compliment. I suppose it is and I'll send them a proper thank you note once I receive all correspondences from them. (The other program is better-rated and way more selective than NYU, by the way. Don't worry, don't worry...I won't let any of it get to my head; I feel humbled and lucky. )

So...y'all wanna know what NYU offered me? Do you? Really? HALF TUITION!!! What a joke! That, my friends, as @FalloutCoversEverythingwould say, is a rejection. Ah well. There go my NYC dreams because we know Columbia isn't going to cough it up. But but but...I'm grateful to the Universe and the forces within and outside it that I already have a very good offer in hand (and have yet to hear from seven schools). *takes a bow* Thank you, @gaudysideoftown! Wishing everyone the best!

I just wanted to do it on someone else's dime since I expect to move to "the boonies" post-MFA due to extreme poverty. Thank you!

Thanks! I hope so, but I honestly no longer know the point of hoping. I know deep down that none of the NYC schools I have applied to will give enough $$ to avoid taking out considerably high loans. There's also the matter of a great offer I have from a great Program elsewhere. The more I correspond with folks at that Program, the more torn I'm feeling about wanting to go to NYC. I suppose I've had my mind stuck on NYC for a long time and I'm hoping against hope for a miracle.

I second @NYCWriter93. It's a relatively large program; I don't see the director making all those calls in a day. Don't lose hope just yet. I got lucky and got in, by the way. Waiting for e-mails re: $$. Are you sure about the lack of full funding, by the way? I thought they had some fully funded slots; at least that's what their website says. Of course we know "fully funded" isn't what it sounds like for most programs (certainly won't be for NYC!), but still, they claim to offer full tuition + "generous" stipends to some candidates. They also have a few fellowships. We shall see, I suppose.

Last year, they asked people not to tell, but people still told. And I'm sure the moment that person posted his/her acceptance here, they got bombarded with questions from other applicants and were forced to scramble ahead of schedule. So, it's fair to assume they've learned their lessons. My guess regarding the slight delay in notifications is: some of the attractive fellowships that UCI has for graduate students is managed by the graduate school, requires nomination by the department, has to go through another selection process and compete with nominations from other departments, etc...which takes time. UCI being among top rated programs, they probably want to attract the best candidates, so they want to be able to offer their best incentives. But the best incentives aren't in their hands, so they have to wait. That's just my guess. It is, of course, possible that this year's admitted students are just so good at keeping secrets.

Next week better be it for me or I'm gonna throw a hissy fit in the history of hissy fits! If NYU don't notify early next week, idk, I might send them an e-mail. And it might be in all caps. I might also open up the map of NYC and give it the evil eye. I will have no choice.

The next time I go to their readings, I'm gonna try and find out if the person that posted this last year is attending: UC Irvine Creative Writing, Fiction, MFA (F15) Accepted via Phone on 21 Feb 2015 25 Feb 2015 report spam (Shhhhh, I'm breaking their vow of secrecy) I might ask for a selfie or sth. Hi everyone! *waves* How is the weekend before the big week going so far? I'm trying to keep myself busy. I said trying. Hope you enjoy thyselves! Free hugs all around!

Wishing for time to pass is not something that you do at my age. But waiting for grad school decisions has succeeded in making me immune to the fear of fleeting days. Come on, March, bring it on! Fast forward to the end of March. Have heard from all programs and decided which school to attend. When suddenly, a panic attack...HOLY COW! Whose brilliant idea was it that I'm ready to go join a community of talented writers who probably know what they're doing and have been preparing for this all their lives?! How did I even get into school X?! Full on impostor syndrome, followed by neurotic e-mails to mentor. Did you really mean it when you said...? Etc. Etc. All that on repeat until I turn screw-it-all old.

I saw NYU before I saw the genre and my heart was like, I want to go, just let me go, I want to go to the corner to be alone and sad...

Good point. I might have to tell them not to bother with me if I get to that stage and they want an interview. I don't like engaging in high stakes negotiations in the absence of the delete button.

^^ And look at the entry right after that ("I love everybody...").

Thanks. I feel spoiled, tbh. Nothing to complain about so far. Hope you get some good news today! Maybe we are. But I'm guessing past applicants made a good use of the "report spam" feature. It's fast and effective. Did you guys see the attached from a few days ago? Look at the acceptance from Syracuse. I reported it. As I've said before, I'm just so curious about the kind of writing that level of immaturity produces. If whoever is writing these notes is lucky enough, in a few years, he/she will have enough sense to look back and cringe.

Sorry about Cornell, @FalloutCoversEverything and @Challenger1992. *Hugs* (only if you want to) to everyone who got denials today. Keep on persisting! And congrats to those who got in. For me, this day just walked in and out like it's got no explaining to do! Still waiting to hear from 8 Programs. And what's with the results page? The forces of childishness appear to be taking over...

I saw the UC Riverside notification and thought, oops, I suppose I should cross that off my list. Just trying to help redefine defeatism there... You guys! I found a thing that helped me not check the results page for, like, 30 minutes! Travel research! Google Flights has this thing where you can enter a continent as your destination and it would bring up a map showing prices for different cities for a given period of time. You should totally do it! lol. Or just find the thing you love so much/find easy to obsess over. If you're crushing hard on someone, for example, this is the time to put that excess energy to use -- internet-stalk the heck out of them (but make sure to keep the guilt or it would be seriously worrisome)!

Thank you! Saw that you applied to NYU as well. I think it's secretly my first choice. If they don't notify this week, it's gonna be one heck of a frightening weekend ahead.

Fingers crossed for you. For me, it's about a longstanding addiction to crossing things off my lists. Can't get my high because it's all out of my hands. OR: I could also be using this to justify not being as productive as I should be.

Was this the longest Monday in the history of Mondays or what?! Were there not more entries on the results page on Valentine's Day, which was on a SUNDAY?! This waiting business has made me silly, irritable, restless...I've been responding in all caps to friends sending me routine e-mails: AM I DONE HEARING FROM SCHOOLS? IS THE APOCALYPSE IMPENDING? DID SOMEBODY DIE? WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME THIS USELESS STUFF?!

Thou shalt not fret, sister. The Lord is with us... I think.

So...Monday is drawing nigh. Wanna gather up and hold hands?