holycat

Oh no. That one is a separate spreadsheet. One spreadsheet can't hold all my columns. I have multiple spreadsheets. One is solely for decision related issues, such as projected dates (earliest date that Program has notified in the past, a countdown column, etc...), projected decisions (color coded columns: acceptance? rejection? acceptance with no money?), etc...In other words, I am trying to redefine obsession. I just hate waiting. Arghh. (If I was the dictator of the world, I would decree that all schools ought to have the same deadlines and notification dates. Period. No arguments.) That said, you guys are making me feel like an old lady. Still in college and less than a year out of college?! Alright, I go now.

You absolutely are not. I have a spreadsheet with projected notification dates and everything. o_O Well, what was I supposed to do while I wait?!

Good luck, @manoshij and @GlowStick! I applied to 11 schools and have read/heard somewhere of someone who applied to 20, so 8 is nothing! So far, I've only heard from one Program and it was an acceptance. I'm over the moon.

I was at work. Was so busy that I hadn't peeked at my phone for a couple of hours. When I finally did, there was a missed call from an X area code. X? It can't be from a grad school; I haven't applied to a school in that state. It's just Sirius Satellite Radio effing with me with a new number for the 100th time. A few minutes later, I remembered that they never leave a Voicemail. So I decided to listen to it. "Hi [holycat], this is [famous poet] calling from the University of so and so with what I hope is good news..." I didn't even finish it. I walked into one of my bosses' office and replayed the Voicemail for her. I then proceeded to walk down the hallway where I told more co-workers. I texted all my closest friends and tried to think of more people to tell. I left for lunch and told the people at the coffee shop. What I really wanted to do was climb up a roof and scream, "I HAVE POTENTIAL! I HAVE POTENTIAL! I AM GOING TO BE A WRITER, I HAVE POTENTIAL!" Funny thing is, I didn't think I was going to be so excited about acceptances and tell everyone. I thought it was going to be a couple of closest friends, my mentor and that's it, until I decide which school to go to, considering I get multiple offers. I suppose what made this acceptance so surprising is that I expected a rejection. They only take a handful of people every year. And also, acceptance being a form of validation. Would it be fair to say writers/aspiring writers experience impostor syndrome at its most intense level or no? I don't know but it feels like it. The sad thing is: a year from now, I'll probably forget all about this little sense of self-belief gained from acceptances and will be back at square one, quivering, frightened, and utterly convinced that I've gotten into XYZ school not because of my talents/potential but because of my superior ability to bamboozle. lol. Oy vey.

Is EVERYONE over at Draft or what? Any lurkers out there, looking for company?

So...has anyone ever lost their minds from waiting for grad school decisions? I've been feeling things that are new and strange.