Dear Admissions Committee Members:
I regret to inform you that I have rejected your rejection letter. While I appreciate the time that it took for you to review my application and deliberate over it, I cannot offer you my acceptance of your rejection at this time. I look forward to joining you in the fall. Per usual agreements, you have until April 15 to accept my rejection of your rejection. Should you not, I will be forced to attend with full tuition waiver, a stipend of at least, if not more than, $35,000 per semester, and a health insurance subsidy equal to, if not more than, the best health insurance offered to CEO's of companies in the fortune 500.
I appreciate your willingness to say "no." Please accept my sincere hopes that you have more success in the future with rejection letters.
Sincerely,
The rejection committee.