SarahBethSortino

So in my effort to consider all possible outcomes, I'm tangling over a theoretical that might become a reality. 1st waitlisted school is my top choice. They have informed me they probably will not make notifications of waitlist acceptances until after the April 15th deadline. 2nd waitlisted school has informed me they will know something before that time, and if I get an offer before April 15th I will still only have until that date to decide. So what do I? Hold out for the top choice, which is looking good but not a definite by any means. Or, if it comes to that, take the sure thing in spite of the fact that it is not my preferred option. Would love to hear some constructive thoughts.

It has been frustrating. I have a few real actual practical questions that I would love to post to this thread but I have actually been very apprehensive. I'm seeking advice, not condescension

This thread has become more about bullying and driving away people who disagree with the opinions of a vocal minioriry than it is about actual advice and assistance

This is an excellent point. In the end, it is your career and each of us has our own specific career goals. Perhaps you are not interested in a topic because it is popular, but it may none the less be an "of the moment" subject. Perhaps your dream is to write 300 pages on something that you know no one else will ever be interested in just because that is your passion. The topic you go into graduate school with will inevitably morph and evolve as part of an ongoing conversation and collaboration with your advisor. The people in your cohort, your faculty, and your inner academic circles should be the most important players in that conversation, not strangers on the internet who, however well meaning, also may not have your own personal best interest in mind.

HI! I believe you might referring to my train wreck of a side thread. I've been intermittently looking at the threads since then. I initially came here for advise, and seeing the grandstanding, pontificating, and out and out disrespect that has been hurled at some people here has made me almost completely disengage. And that's terrible too, because I've had much to say about what I have seen over the last few pages and I'm honestly too afraid of the vitriol that I might get for it. Some posters have challenged others to print out their posts and tape them to the door of their advisors' office to see what they would think of their students' online personas. I would say this: would anyone here who seems to take pleasure in tearing other people down say those things to the faces of people who will potentially be their colleagues someday?

For the first of two waitlisted programs, the director specifically asked that I keep in contact with him regarding other acceptances. He also invited me to come up and visit. Plan to go up there in a couple of weeks and probably will out again until then.

Anyone have any opinions on how much or how little to follow up with wait listed schools. I'm walking the line between showing continued interest and trying not to be annoying. I've been making a weekly follow up...not sure if that is too much or too little. Thoughts?

Emailed UMass today. As I suspected, the lateness of their notification is due to rolling admissions. They have already sent out the first round of acceptances and will be making additional offers based on how many people accept from the first round. Was informed I'm near the top of the waitlist. So, another waitlist and four rejections rounds the season out for me.

Thanks. I did see the FAQs on the websites for both programs. I was reaching out more for information on direct contact with the department. The inquiry about BC is a moot point anyway. Received my rejection notice yesterday.

Thanks. They have been very unresponsive throughout the entire process. Emailed them about a year ago for information on the program - nothing. Emailed some POIs for potential visits and correspondence - nothing. It strikes me as very odd.

That is an awfully long time with no contact. Have you reached out to them to see where you stand?

Does anyone have legitimate intel on either Umass Amherst or Boston College. Based on prior years it seems they would have released more info. I asked a few weeks ago on the board and only received info on a couple of acceptances. At least for Umass, with such a big program, I thought there would be more information out there. I emailed both departments and have not received an answer. Thanks

I feel like my initial sentiment is being completely misunderstood. All I said in the beginning was that there are other things to think about in the grand scheme of this process. I didn't say it to be nasty or combative. I'm not saying I'm special or particularly different from anyone else. I thought that other people were going to be able to relate, instead I got slammed for what, thinking about buying a house? I thought perhaps it would be useful to put the stress of this process into perspective with the other things that everyone has to deal with in addition to professional rejection. I don't bring my personal life to the attention of my bosses at my job, I'm certainly not going to in graduate school. I was just making a point among a group of my peers. I'm honestly sorry that it pissed so many people off. It's not my intention. To be honest, though, I feel that my presence here isn't helpful to me or anyone else. I'm disengaging from the forum. Good luck to everyone. My apologies if I offended anyone. As a side note, I do use my real name because I have not said anything on here that I'm ashamed of. And if someone wants to research me, fine. I don't hide who I am and certainly if any of my colleagues at whatever school I wind up going to want to find out about me, I'm not saying anyting here that isn't particularly easy to find out through other methods.

Exactly. It's not work I'm afraid of. I've done graduate study before and although it was no walk in the park I don't mind working nonstop for months on end. It's the not knowing if I'm going to be able to work - that's the problem. But clearly some people feel that its fine to dictate other people's reactions and base their value and competency on those tiny bits of information.

Once again all I am saying is that there are other factors in play besides whining about being able to deal with professional rejection. I'm well aware that other people are in the same boat. I simply wanted to point out that I wasn't crawling in a hole because someone told me no. That ther is other stuff adding to the stress.

Believe me, I have a solid support system. I also have no illusions about funding providing for a dependent. Luckily my ex and I have worked all of that out. She's under his health insurance and he makes more than enough money to provide for her in spite of my status as a student. The amount of financial planning that has gone into this is insane. Part of the reason why I am 10 years on from my masters in fact. As far as "the boyfriend" goes, he knows the deal :-). I'm lucky in that respect. All I'm saying is that the current uncertainty is stressful. I did not intend for that statement to turn into a personal attack about my inability to handle graduate study or immaturity. I'm a classic type a, spreadsheet making, contingency plan developing, anal retentive personality. That being said I'd just like to be able to say, "this is what I am doing for the next five years." If someone on this board finds that to be immature or conducive of someone who can't handle graduate work so be it.

Certainly I've had a lot of people in here offer words of encouragement. And I've worked very hard to do the same. What I take issue with is being told that the circumstances that go into trying to get to this point make me immature. It was the other posters comments I was directly speaking to. I won't even begin to go into my reasons for buying property right now (long story short, I have an opportunity to buy a great place at a cheap price and plan to rent it out for additional income when I have to move for work at some point). I have a plan and I've thought ahead to all the contingeneies you speak of. But perhaps so many people in here are correct. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for it.

Ok, I suppose I'll take trying to be a responsible parent and figure out how my daughters life is going to go for the next few years as immaturity. I mentioned my good stats and letters of recommendation to say that I genuinely thought I had a good chance. I worked hard on every part of my application as everyone else did here. You don't know me, and you have no idea how good or bad my application was. You also have no idea about the various circumstances that brought me to this point. Im not asking for sympathy because I want to buy a house, I'm stating the fact that I can handl le professional rejection, it's the supplemental things in my life - not to mention the people who actually depend on me - that are making this a stressful process. I find your ability to dismiss those other things as immature to be a little insulting. I guarantee you if we had a conversation about all the things that kept me out of grad school for 10 years you perhaps wouldn't be so quick to dismiss me as being inappropriate for graduate school. You might actually say, I'm sorry, that really stinks. I can see why this is so difficult for you. I came here for commiseration and the kind of compassion I've seen afforded to other people in this board, not to have someone wave their hand at me to shoo me away from graduate work because I'm rightfully upset about the state of things. Furthermore, to your point about buying a house, it may not be a right, but it's something I have worked ten hard years to save up for and I think I have a right to be proud of that achievement and nervous about the outcome

No to seem short in my response, but I am very sick of hearing that the application process is the least stressful part of academia and if I can't take rejection I probably shouldn't do it. That is not the situation I am in AT ALL. I fully expected to get rejected to some places, though with my very good stats and very good letters of recommendation I never dreamed I would be in this position. I think what a lot of people don't take into account is that other life logistics are hanging in the balance. I'm trying to buy a house with my boyfriend right now and won't get approved for a mortgage if I don't have a funding offer. I have a seven year old who would kind of like to know where she's going to school next year. I have a job that would kind of like to know if I'm going to be here next year. I have custody issues to work out with my ex, child support, alimony: ALL of which is dependent upon what happens in this application cycle. So I have about 6 people in my life who are directly affected by my applications. So I think it's unfair to suggest that I'm whining about the rejections and can't take it.

As far as outlining my career aspirations I was very pointed and direct in that. My career goals are well thought out and were presented I. My SOP. Also, I'm 36, not 70. After graduation I have the expectation of a 20-30 year career.

I didn't put anything in my SOP about my child, my divorce, anything. In fact, I quite frankly avoided mentioning that I had a child at all. I stuck to completely professional reasons in my SOP. I wasn't going to go whining to them about how having a kid kept me out of school. I have in fact decided not to even mention that fact to anyone if I do go so as to not make myself seem less "serious." That's a thing I've seen many times among my friends in grad school. Nobody needs to know a thing about my personal life at school.

I completely disagree with the idea that committees like the idea that you have done something outside of academia. I have dealt with three official rejections and two unofficial ones. I'm 36 and have also had a lot of gap years, and the feedback I have consistently heard is that I've spent too long outside of academia (even though I have a masters). One POI said if I had applied five years ago then I would be a better fit, but I'm an unusual and risky choice at this point in my life. Not all of us have the benefit of walking a straight line from undergrad to graduate school, and I feel at this point that the path I've taken to finally be in a position to apply has only hurt me, in spite of the fact that I emphasized in my statement that I do not consider this a career "Change," i consider it going back to the career I always intended to have before a million perfectly legitimate complications got in the way (illness, a child, death of a parent, divorce, etc.) Right now I'm just so jaded - its probably because I received another rejection yesterday. At this point I really just want to say screw the whole thing. If schools don't want me because I'm not a traditional student then fine, I'm not beating my head against the wall for another year. And I definitely can't see myself going through the emotional hell I've dealt with since I submitted my applications.

Thanks for the pep talk. I didn't think I was in the mood for a pep talk but you're post helped. I find it funny to hear people referring to next year as a "gap" year. I'm 36...I've been on a gap year for about 10 years now haha. I really did think this was finally my year. BUt I emailed the school where I am waitlisted to check for a status update and received a very positive response. They are still interested and want me to come up to visit them. The DGS assured me to be patient, that they always draw from the wait list pool. So I'm holding out hope. I think I'm just emotionally exhausted right now. I'm a planner, and a lot of things hang in the balance based on the result of this (i.e., where I will live, where I'm going to ask my boyfriend to move to, where my daughter is going to go to school next year...) Its very hard to answer those questions by saying "I just don't know." My 7 year old doesn't know about anything related to a potential move, but my ex and I want to keep her informed, and we can't right now. So it's not just school, it's a myriad of other things associated with it. Thankfully I have a completely unrelated job that I love right now and great coworkers - the distraction is a blessing.

I'm pretty much living my nightmare and my worst case scenario. I've only been waitlisted at one of the six schools I applied to. I know my "safe choice" met last week and I haven't heard anything, and historically the other two schools I applied to would have already sent out acceptances right now. In a million years I never believed I would be at the end of February and have no idea what is going to happen next year. I'm in absolute despair right now seeing everyone talk about getting at least one acceptance. I don't know what I'm going to when I finally find out it's really all over.

Guess that probably means I'm waiting on yet another rejection