SarahBethSortino

I'm a mother too and it is my plan to disclose nothing about my personal life to either my advisor or my colleagues if I get in. This is to both avoid the assumption that I am asking for special favors and to avoid the trap that many academic mothers fall into of being seen as less committed than their childless counterparts. For me personally, I feel it is the better path to simply not discuss my child and to avoid the question. I certainly will not go into school outlining why I have scheduling conflicts. They simply must be worke around, and that is our responsibility alone to do so.

I get what you're saying about the 17th. That's probably reasonable. But honestly I can't take an offer in the middle of the summer. By that point I wouldn't have a lot of time to prepare my 7 year old for a move, and I think the very sudden upheaval would be pretty traumatic. Telling her now would allow her time to adjust... middle of the summer - essentially telling her that a lot is going to change for her in a matter of weeks - seems unfair.

No question in my mind, if they offer something I will need no time to consider. I'll sign the paperwork right there.

Yeah, the invitation is the biggest mystery of this whole thing to be honest. I'm meeting with my potential advisor, who is also the Director of Graduate Studies. He's also invited a couple of current students to sit in so I can speak with them. Everything about that is obviously positive, but the fact that I have not heard anything about what my realistic chances are makes it very difficult to get a gauge on what to do. I've been on the waitlist now for almost 7 weeks. My boyfriend thinks there's a possibility that the advisor knows something and just figured he would wait until he saw me in person. It's a possibility, but this waitlist thing has messed with my brain so much that I feel like I can't make heads or tails or anything at this point.

I've heard stories like that. An adjunct I had once got a call two days before school started and she accepted. That's the problem, though. First of all, I just don't know if I have the emotional fortitude to keep dealing with this until the summer. Also, I'm in the tough spot of being a couple of weeks away from being offered a full time position at the company I am currently contracting for. If I wait too long and I do not get accepted off the waitlist, I miss out on both opportunities. And practically speaking, you have to pay your bills sometimes. If I turn down the full time position, it is very apparent I don't plan to stay at the company, which means in all likelihood the contract ends. This would be fine obviously if I had a school to go to, if I play the long game too long I will wind up unemployed AND not a student.

I know. But I have to make a decision about where I'm going to be next year very very soon. Logistically I'm not going to be one of those people who might be able to take a spot at a school the week before classes start (It's rare, but I've heard of it happening.) When I applied the thought that this would drag on for this long never crossed my mind, but at this point I have to be pragmatic about the situation. I'm giving it until next Friday to figure out what I'm going to do.

As a follow up, what does everyone think about the realistic timeline for being informed from the waitlist? I've stopped following up with my two schools. I'm honestly operating under the assumption that I'm not getting in. I know of two people who turned down offers in the last two weeks to my top choice, and considering that I didn't get a phone call about any open spots, I'm assuming that I was not as high on the waitlist as I was led to believe. I know April 15th is two weeks away, but it does seem as though both schools would know something by now. I'm considering withdrawing from the waitlists and moving on at this point. I am meeting with one school on Monday because I was invited up there...but considering I have not heard anything concrete, I feel like it is more an opportunity to discuss possibly applying next year, which I will not be doing.

When is everyone thinking they will make their final decisions - if you haven't done so already? I have notice a lot of people considering offers down to the wire.

It is entirely possible you are on an undisclosed waitlist for at least one of the schools. It's extremely late to have not received at word. I'd say it's entirely appropriate at this point to reach out to them for a status check.

Good for you. So happy you had your happy ending. Or beginning. For me, this is the last round, so considering how it's going it's definitely the end of this for me

Honestly im feeling pretty hopeless right now. I am on two waitlists and go back and forth between checking my email every five seconds and not caring about anything. I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating... I have no confidence in myself at the moment. I've pretty much given up in the whole idea of getting a positive response. I honestly feel like I am just existing until sometime around April 15th when someone will put me out of my misery and I can just move on and forget about this whole horrible experience. I came into this process with a lot of positivity and high hopes, but right now I wonder if it was all a giant waste of time. And worst, there is not a single person in my life who really understands how awful this feels.

I hope the visits provided a little clarity for you! Good luck. At least either way it'll all be over soon!

LEts just say I didn't move here to NJ entirely by choice. I followed someone haha. It hasn't been all bad, but its time to go home

I am counting down the days until I move out of NJ back to my home state of Massachusetts. I have been here 11 long years. Can't wait to be home

Did you wind up going on visits? Have you made a decision yet ?

I'm moving back to Massachusetts in three months and am waitlisted at Brandeis. Moving there regardless of what happens with school, but I'm getting a place in Worcester. It is 45 minutes away from Campus but I grew up near there and the rent is incredibly low for really really nice places.

Where did you get into?

Hello I saw a similar thread in another discipline. I thought it might be a good idea to give people a chance to post about the waitlists they are still on, as well as the offers they will be turning down. Hope this helps some people out

When I went over for my Masters, I was also asked for proof that I could cover the first year... not only did I have to prove it to the university but I needed it for my visa as well. I think this is more of an international student thing and not necessarily a reflection of potential funding. I've read on the websites of several universities in the US that they also have the same requirement for international students regardless of funding status. So I wouldn't worry about your particular funding until you find out for sure. PM me if you have any questions about the UK system, getting your visa, etc. been there done that!

That's what I thought. When I did my masters at Edinburgh I did not find out about my funding until about three months after I was accepted. If I recall the acceptance came sometime in January, funding didn't come in until the Spring. It was a long wait.

I live in Summit, which is right near the above mentioned New Providence. It tends to be on the very expensive side. Morristown is a good suggestion, but although Montclair is near Mewark, that doesn't make it inherently bad. Montclair is a really fun, vibrant small city with great restaurants and bars, shopping, and inexpensive rent.

So many congratulations to you! Go kick some ass ?.

That's really too bad. You seem like you have a lot of substantive things to say. :-/

I love it! You seem a lot like me, clearly thinking through every possibility. I appreciate the detailed advice. I've practiced a lot of restraint over the past few weeks and have tried not to reach out for constant updates. But it dawned on me yesterday that the situations could converge and I would have to make a tough decision. I was invited to go up and meet with my POI in two weeks at waitlist #1, so I think I might try to informally bring it up to him. He has told me that although I should never turn down a full offer in favor of a waitlist, I should not do anything without talking to him. That is just him, though, and I don't know how strict the DGS would be when it comes to firm deadlines.

I never even thought of the option of accepting and then withdrawing. I'd prefer if it not come to that, but it's certainly something to consider if all the situations align and I'm in a bind.