@samman1994 Thanks so much for your input as well. I can see what you mean about the lack of transitions. As for the lack of details, I have a 500 word limit and am currently at 476 words. I was finding it difficult to cover off on my research interests, relating my interests to this particular program, articulating why I want to do the program and why I'm qualified to be doing the program, and finally trying to put a blurb at the beginning that makes me sound human... all in the space of 500 words. I think trying to cram that all in there was also why it doesn't transition well.
I'll rework the organization so my interests are more concise and less spread out. As for discussing why the school should want me... Well, I'd be happy if I had a better answer for that. All I was really able to think of is "I've studied linguistics and I work really hard". I have the degree and work experience that the program is looking for, but I don't know what to say beyond that.