csphdplease

I feel stressed... I have multiple research experiences with one of the schools I applied to (though no pubs, one in review). The head of the program also contacted me and told me they'd like me to apply to their program. I got to meet them when I was working there, and I think the conversation went over well. I want to think this means I have a good shot of getting in, but I'm just afraid I'm going to get my hopes up just to have them dashed. Also, they're still working there, but they're leaving the school soon, so I don't know what that means for my chances.

Girl, I feel you SO MUCH. As a black female hoping to enter grad school next year, I keep wondering that maybe things will get better for my dating life there. But I have soooo lost hope on that. I had that same hope when entering undergrad, and I still have had not one drop of a romantic life. I've heard all the cliche advice ("It'll come when you're not looking", "You just need to put yourself out there", etc), and yet seen friend after friend get pursued by guys. Like, if you've ever watched Dear White People and seen that scene with Coco waiting for a guy to ask her out after all of her white friends have been, I feel like that describes my life. And nobody ever understands how it feels. I have grown so much as a person to where, though I have moments of insecurity like a normal person, I am happy with the way that I look and who I am. I am not sitting around feeling as though I am a low-quality person because of this. It's just that one aspect of my life that I'm insecure about. Why don't boys like me? And it's never an easy question to deal with. You can never 100% know if it's the color of your skin (well, I suppose with real jerks you can), and that makes it all the more mind-gnawing. Like, is there something I can be doing better or is this just the life to which I'm resigned? It sucks too. If you're a successful black woman, then you're intimidating and emasculating. But if you're not, then you're just another "ghetto" girl. There is no winning. I know I'm ranting, but with who my close friends are, it's not very often that I get to talk to someone else who gets it.