suspechosa

I am in a science oriented field and have gotten several research grants for fieldwork for summer 2012. I just completed my first year and I'm seriously considering leaving, mostly because of the lack of funding and tuition is astronomical. Additionally, I need to step back and collect myself to decide if academia is what I want, right now I don't think it is. I will probably end up leaving with my MA in May 2012. So...what to do with the money for fieldwork slated for summer 2012?? I have already spent some funds last year for some field equipment. Basically, I am worried that if I do not go to the field the granting agencies will want me to reimburse them for the money I spent on field equipment. Can they do that? I never signed anything saying this would be the case... I am keeping my leaving hush hush as of now so consulting my adviser and the granting institutions really is not an option right now. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

I am an anthropologist (just in case other anthropologists have had experience with this..) So wayyyy back in September I thought I wanted to study x on one continent. In October I received an internal, competitive grant to study x on one continent for preliminary research. However, in the past 7 months my interests have changed and now I want to study y on a different continent. Am I allowed to use that money I received for the project I am now interested in or is that a big no no and I either have to go ahead with the original project I had outlined, then collect other money for what I now want to do or do I just give it back to them and say my interests have changed?? I know this will probably vary- but I wanted to know if changing projects and using the money for a different project than I said I wanted to was something that isn't done.. Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you!!

Pack up and go! Life is too short to be that bored. Graduate school, as I know you know, is a huge time, emotional, and often financial commitment and if your not loving it 100% most days, it's time to leave.

The best advice I ever received and did not take: DO NOT GO TO GRAD SCHOOL UNFUNDED!!! I just finished my first semester unfunded and it is the worst. The work is demanding and thankless and it sucks to put your heart and soul into it all and not have a dime coming in for all of your efforts. It sucks having to choose between eating or heating your place. It's just not worth it. Try again next year, apply for more grants and such but it's just not worth it. I thought i wanted this more than anything and I didn't care what it took to get here and here I am miserable I did not accept good advice 6 months ago.

Dude, I feel you. But I have to disagree with everyone else and say LEAVE. Grad school is hard, stressful, lonely, and often times unrewarding. If you want to go, then go. It isn't as big of a deal and decision as people make it out to be. I agree academics are particularly snobbish and it's ridiculous and annoying. You said you're worried if you can't do grad school then you're not going to be able to survive the "real world". You also said academics seem more cut-throat than the "real world", so what's there to worry about? You'll be fine. Additionally, is this worth being being more miserable than you've ever been in your life? Probably not. Keep up with the subject you love, do volunteer projects relating to it, but you do not have to devote your life to studying and researching it until you want to pull your hair out. Life is short; go be with your church, community, girlfriend, be happy and get on with your life. Best of luck!

I hate the town I'm in and the lack of funding at my institution (people farther along than me are dropping like flies due to the lack of funds, transferring institutions, etc.) I love my cohort, the classes, my subject matter, my adviser, my thesis topic, the climate of new town I hate otherwise and am just so happy and thankful to be doing what I LOVE. I felt upset throughout the semester, not being confident this was for me or that I was able to do it. It's wayyyy different than undergrad and I do believe it's something like a hazing ritual to weed out the weak like residency with M.D.'s. But, as the semester is drawing to a close I'm feeling better about my performance as a whole. I can do this. Heck yes!

I'm going to wait and see what happens. I wont be funded next year at my current program unless I keep straight A's,so if I get a B- medicine it is! I also think if I did less than stellar grades-wise, it would be a true reflection of my disinterest in paleoanth and not just panic of picking a life path, stress, etc. Like today is a good day for me and my relationship with my subject, yesterday was pure hatred. It's crazy. All my premed courses are completed and I've taken the MCAT. So if paleoanth doesn't pan out, I can move on pretty quickly.

This is a good point. Anthro2009, is there any way you can leave with at least an MA? That way you have something to show for your time there and it will look less like you "quit"??

Anthro2009, I can COMPLETELY sympathize with you. I am just starting my PhD in paleoprimatology and am having serious reservations about continuing forward after this semester. I too switched back and forth between medicine and academia and think I picked the wrong one. I am really uncomfortable with the fact that jobs in academia are next to impossible to get after YEARS of hard work and dedication. Many think you should pursue a PhD because it's your "passion" and that you should be comfortable with the prospect of not getting a job because "hey, you got to live your dream even if just for a little while". I call BS on that one. I also feel like I would gain greater satisfaction in actually DOING something to help people and make a difference in lives everyday rather than bouncing back theories and abstractions and pretending it's of profound importance. Academia is too far removed from reality and society for me. I must say you are fortunate that you may be able to get your degree in four years because the average time to a PhD in my subfield and in my program is 8 freaking years, yikes! A career in medicine can be a fulfilling and wonderful one but please do be aware that it too is a LONG road (longer than continuing your Euro PhD) and comes with years of struggling financially in residency and drowning in massive student loans and then paying for lovely malpractice insurance, woooo, in addition to the emotions and fatigue that come with life in many specialties. I think you seem to have thought this through and your mind is made up. You seem scared to take the plunge though. My vote is to go for medicine! I think the rewards outweigh the costs compared with academia. Good luck to you in whatever you choose

I stay healthy and fit by practicing yoga 2-3 times a week, bicycling everywhere I can (school, grocery store), and being a vegan helps a lot.

Great! Thank you so much.

Are there many errrm how about ANY vegan-friendly grocers in CS/Bryan or in any town close by? How about Asian grocers? I'm worried I'm going to have to travel two hours to Austin to find many of the staples I need for cooking! I've seen Brazos Natural Foods..are they pricey more so than say than Sprouts (which I don't think is very expensive)? Do they have things like tofu, vital wheat gluten, tempeh, soy yogurt, nutritional yeast, tamarind paste/sauce? Do the "Regular" supermarkets like Albertsons carry some of these things??

I am! It's Penske though, not U-haul for me. I'm quite nervous to do so, I hope it's not too windy! It will also be a pain to go like 10-15 under the speed limit. It's going to take for-ever!!!

This is a great thread! 1. Try to exude confidence/ stop being so dang shy. 2. Publish/present. 3. Stop comparing myself to others. 4. Read one article a day (M-F) 5. Try to have healthy balance between school work and home (time with my SO, pleasure reads, etc). 6. Exercise most days of the week. 7. Keep my stress levels low. 8. Keep my eye on the prize.

What about academia.edu?? Does anyone use it? I would feel more willing to use that than facebook which to me just seems childish.

Haha! Hilarious. Thanks.

This is key. I think I stress myself out way too much thinking people are "better" than me, but I need to remember that others' success will in no way influence whether or not I receive my PhD. Thanks.

Thank you for your reassuring words, artist_lily I love the idea of picking up some books that can teach me to speak to people! That's great! And I too am glad i'm not the only one feeling this way. Ugh.

I recently received an e-mail informing my incoming cohort when our department orientation is and wow...that made this real for me. I have been in a sort of denial about the realities I am facing and now I'm panicking. I am pursuing an anthropology PhD and would like to know what I can expect at a department orientation. I have SEVERE social anxiety and want to know how much socializing I will be expected to do or is it just more of a sit and listen kinda thing?? I know every dept is going to be different, but what have your experiences been like? Also, they encouraged us to join our depts facebook account if we want to meet people. I do not do social networking sites. Will this put me at a disadvantage? Will everyone already be buddies by the time I get to meet them? I'm also already feeling like an idiot. I googled most of the names from my cohort list and wow..I am for sure bottom of the barrel here and that makes me feel like crap. I have always questioned by abilities and now, to have my computer starring at me, screaming, "YUP! YOU ARE THE LEAST EQUIPPED PERSON IN YOUR PROGRAM!" makes me so uneasy. I feel like not even showing up and giving this thing a try. To make matters even better.. I am unfunded for my first year, great, everyone else is likely taken care of and this makes me feel more like a big loser and like I do not belong. So, not only am I an unfunded, socially anxious, facebookless idiot but my advisor is on sabbatical for a year and I will feel like an even more out of place, misguided freak. Help

Good thought, but yeah- I've been booted

Thank you everyone who responded to my "cancer" thread. We received some good news, and the cancer is at it's earliest stages and things are looking hopeful. So, I have decided to continue onto graduate school this fall. I have what may be a silly question, but I honestly don't know what to do. At my undergrad institution, I had access to a lot of journals online. For example, I used primate lit a lot..I just typed in my username and password I used for all things online at my uni. I just tried it using my new info for my new school and out of like 50 articles I tried to bring up, my school apparently only has access to two! Huh?? Am I doing something wrong or missing something? How do students get access to articles and why is it that my old uni gave me more access than my grad?!!

I found an apt in CS that I'm very happy with BUT I am really freaked out about Texas renters rights or lackthereof (especially if the apt belongs to TAA- Texas Apartment Association)!!! I'm reading through all of TAA's documents and am concerned that landlords can just enter someones apartment while there not home, granted there is a somewhat lengthy list of specific reasons they are able to come in, but still this makes me VERY uncomfortable. For those of you renting in TX, how often does this actually happen? In your experience, do your landlords generally give you advanced warning when they will be entering (for filter changes, pest control, etc. etc.) or do they just waltz in? I also read that after you give them your 2 months notice that you will be moving out, one of the reasons they can come in is to show your apartment to prospective tenants!??!? Sooo STRANGERS can come into my apartment, be around my property, valuables, pets, etc while I am not there??? Ludicrous. Does this happen in reality or is it just something they "can" do but don't really do??? I knew moving to TX wasn't going to be fun, it's so wild wild west.

So suprisingly, everything worked out and I was accepted to my my top choice school and was getting ready to go, apt search, make the move, etc. But, my long term partners parent was just diagnosed with cancer and I don't know what to do. What would you do?? I am so ready to start but I don't want to pack up and leave my partner to deal with this alone. I haven't checked to see if I can defer, would this even be an appropriate reason to defer?? Ugh. I'm panicking. I was supposed to apt search and buy in a few weeks but now I don't want to do that without being 100% that I can/ should go :-\

PMed you!!

Thanks for your reply ..I worked full time during undergrad and paid for my education that way, so I don't have any undergrad debt and I believe I have saved up enough to support myself for the first year so I wouldn't have to go into debt for that either...but still money's money and I don't know if doing my first year unfunded is the smartest thing to do. I do need to get more concrete answers from the dept regarding funding. How do I ask grad students this? It wont seem rude or nosey? Should I also ask my potential advisor- I think I should but I don't want to pester him and have him think I'm annoying! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your help!!