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impasta

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    2
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About impasta

  • Rank
    Decaf

Profile Information

  • Location
    USA
  • Application Season
    2019 Fall
  • Program
    English

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  1. @whatislife69 @mandelbulb @sugilite @jillcicle @jrockford27 Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I've struggled to focus on my acceptances despite the initial euphoria they brought. I can't help but feel like I've let down my professors, family, and friends who had high hopes for me and encouraged me to shoot for the top 10s. The rejections seem to be confirmation that their confidence in my potential is misplaced or overinflated. I felt foolish for thinking I stood a chance. At least that's what I thought when I started the thread. It was unwise of me to apply for top programs that didn't fit my interests but I can't be faulted for applying to the ones that did. How can anyone be faulted for striving and hoping for the best? I still lack the equanimity needed to handle rejections gracefully. What has helped the past few days was focusing on what it took for me to receive all those acceptances and rejections. Given how hard I've worked in college, studied for the GREs, and toiled away at preparing application materials, I should give myself more credit. Not because of the outcome, but because I knew what I wanted and was willing to put in time, effort, and -sigh- money to achieve it. The fact that I had the determination to power me through the application season is proof that somewhere inside me is the drive needed for a career in academia life. Uncle Gary may not be impressed with me but I sure as hell am.
  2. Lurker here! I've followed this forum for months now and was compelled to start this topic after the flurry of rejections that have come in the past days. Currently, I'm sitting at 2a/4r/2ir/1p, which isn't the worst but isn't the best. I expected to receive rejections but each one hit me harder than anticipated despite the 2 acceptances I already have. I'm struggling to reconcile how I'm both genuinely grateful for my acceptances and gut-punched by each rejection. Maybe it's because the rejections were from top 10s, making me feel like I'm good enough to pursue a Ph.D. but not great enough to be in the best programs? Maybe it's because each application cost me time, effort, and money? How do you GC-ers deal with rejections, and the feelings of inadequacy, imposterism, and shame that they inspire?
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