Mana4989

Hello, I was in the similar situation one year ago, and I changed the advisor after 5 months lab work. I explained it was because I got new research interests to the people around me, but it was actually because I didn’t like the previous advisor and the lab people. Do your department have any administrative staffs or coordinator staffs who can give advices to grad students? Or is there any professor responsible for first year grad students? If there is, the first option is to seek advices from them. It’s not uncommon for first or second year students to switch their advisors. So they should get used to engage that situation. If not, in my case, I investigated potential lab’s publication and talked with potential lab mates without talking my situation to any friends or current lab mates. This was to make sure that the potential lab could fit me. Then I sent an confidential email to the potential advisor to tell I got a new interest to your research so I want to change the laboratory, and asked if he can afford to take me. I asked the potential advisor to make it secret because I didn’t want my current to know it. After that, if the potential advisor said yes, you can start some paper works to switch advisors if any. I hope it can help you, and I hope your situation becomes better!

Thanks for the reply. I’m in the program for 2 years and it takes average 5-5.5 years to graduate in my program. So it will take probably 3 or 3.5 years to finish. I have put hard works but I’m okay with that point. I’m prepared not to blame for anyone for my choice. But I might be jealous to him because he has PhD. I know I will never have the opportunity to be in the PhD program in the US if I quit, and I’m worried to regret. I’m also worried to disappoint people around me.

Hello, I am a 2nd year female PhD candidate in STEM major. As written in the title, I’m lost in my situation, so I wanted to hear opinions to make decisions. I am an international student. I took master’s in my country then joined in the PhD program in the US. My significant other has worked as a postdoc in US for 2.5 years, and from this April he will go back to our country as an assistant professor. We have been in the relationship for 4 years including 2.5 years long-distance relationships. Because both of us are almost 30’s and he decided to go back to our country, he asked if we could live together and marry. But he said he would wait for more years if I want PhD. I love him and wanted to live together. I will feel bad if I make him wait for at least 3 more years. At the same time, I like my research, advisor, lab mates, and department. I will be here if I’m alone. However, one of the reasons I came to the US was because I and my significant other wanted to get jobs in the US in the future. Now the situation has changed. PhD is no longer necessary if we go back to our country. If I get PhD, It will make me happy but will not influence salaries or kinds of jobs at all in my country. So I know quitting PhD will be reasonable for me. I paid so much effort for application, qualification exam, and course works. My childish dream was being called as “Dr.” as same as my father. These emotional things prevent me to decide. I feel like crying whenever I think about this situation. I would appreciate any opinions to my situation. Thanks!