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About NervousYolk

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  1. I've got almost 2 weeks worth of depression meals prepped in the fridge and ready to go for when my mental health inevitably falls apart from the shut out ๐ŸŽ‰ I also come from an 1st generation immigrant family, so I was taught that I did not deserve to cry for personal failures because everything awful is all my fault hahahaha hooray for repressed generational trauma
  2. Starting to spiral while waiting for my last rejection to make its way to my inbox! I'm debating whether to give up in the spirit of Lent and just save future application fees to go towards the future therapy sessions I'll need to deal with all this rejection, or naively play along with the hopeful voice in my head that tells me to try again oof On the bright side, at least I can keep myself busy by drafting the emails I'll need to send out once that last rejection hits?
  3. Still waiting on my formal rejection letter from my last school, but it sucks that i'm more stressed about letting my references who wrote my recommendation letters and the professors from the programs that I spoke with know about me being shut out again this cycle orz
  4. The entire situation (and the test honestly) reeked of ableism haha but long story short to answer your question why, I had some mobility issues from a bad injury and literally could not physically run the mile. The test let you "fail" one of the requirements and still pass, but I also "failed" the BMI "test" for being terribly underweight so I didn't meet the graduation requirements!
  5. I finished high school after 2012 but I almost did not get to graduate because I couldn't pass the fitness test (it may have been a state mandated one? I have no idea) but it caused a lot of trouble at my school and it gave me so much stress that i've just ignored ever since as repressed trauma๐Ÿ˜‚
  6. nO, and I say this with all sincerity and seriousness, thank YOU
  7. all the good news, good vibes are giving me life right nowโœจ
  8. Woke up to an empty inbox, so here's to another day of misery and obsessively refreshing the application portal ๐Ÿ™ƒ
  9. Waiting for my last rejection to show up in my inbox has me getting hit with a truck of anxiety every time I have an email notification oof I saw the first acceptance go up on the results page so it looks like I will be put out of my misery soon orz Edit: I've learned that the application portal webpage moves up by a single pixel each time the page is refreshed. You learn something new everyday!
  10. @j.j.pizza i have one school left to hear from, and I'm not too optimistic unfortunately. I keep telling myself that I'll be okay if I'm shut out again, but the little voice in my head poisoning me with hope tells me that I most certainly am not okay oof especially with how the conversations I had with my POIs this cycle only made me more inspired and eager to do book history orz I hope things turn out much better for you!! The world can always benefit from more book historians! Like the saying goes, each time a scholar becomes a book historian, a used book finds a good home ๐Ÿ˜‚
  11. @j.j.pizza my background is in book arts and the general history of printing, but I ended up specifying towards the early modern era during my MLIS with so many book studies specialists being medievalists or early modernists. It's always a pleasant surprise to find someone else in book history though! The POI I was in contact with emphasized a lot to me how it's a lot more competitive for international students (I am also applying from the US) - she mentioned that last year there were maybe 3 or 4 at most spots reserved for international students across all of the specializations, suggest
  12. Ah! You're the book history post!! My interest is also in book history, focusing on the interplay between print and manuscript culture in the early modern era, so I got excited seeing another book history person hahaha If I may ask, are you a domestic applicant or international?
  13. Has anyone heard from UofT? I'm wondering how much to emotionally brace myself for a confirmed rejection over the weekend...
  14. I was expecting it but it seems increasingly likely it's shut-out season pt 2 for me seeing waitlist results being posted! Honestly, pretty full of regret applying this cycle since I hadn't intended on applying but the POIs I spoke to encouraged me to apply. Also feeling really guilty having wasted their time and wishing I had all that application fee money for groceries right now hahahahahaha oof
  15. Most likely because they need to know how many of the people admitted turn down their spot since this would affect how the waitlist looks like too? It would probably be a lot more awkward and labor intensive if they were to send out rejections the same time as admissions and they end up with 2 spots that weren't taken and need to backtrack on the rejections.
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