It's my first ever post here, but I'm sure I've read damn near every thread all the way back to 2014. I just finished up applying to about 17 schools (a few masters left to go). Now it's mostly waiting, which (unsurprisingly) sucks. I'm coming from an unknown public university with an unusual gap in my education, and, just for good measure, at least a dozen schools are halting or limiting their admissions this year. I know it's the longest of long shots to make into a top 20 program and I'm honestly kind of depressed whenever I think about it. But philosophy really is what I've always wanted to do (even in high school), and I feel compelled to try despite the job market, etc.
I guess I'm posting just to say hello and vent some of my anxiousness. I do have some things going for me, from what I can tell from this forum: 170 Verbal (can't take credit though... it happened on all three practice tests, without any study); a letter from one of the faculty at a top MA program (who I've met and whose work we discussed via email and over the phone); GPA 3.92 (major 4.0); writing sample... gee I really don't know. Maybe its good, good for an undergrad paper, but it's nowhere near publishable, and every time I think about it I realize that I should have changed one thing or another before I submitted it. Ugh. I need to forget about all this somehow for a couple months. It's funny, the process of applying to grad school in philosophy has left me with very little desire to actually read any philosophy.
tl;dr I'm anxious and depressed about my applications, how about you?