Long time observer, first time poster here.
I Have a question for the sincere and good people of thegradcafe. Every input is much appreciated.
I am an int'l student on a really, really tight budget. I previously applied to master's programs and received acceptances with good funding (Heller, MIIS, LSE). But I still had to pay a small portion of the tuition 1/4 - 1/5 and for living expenses. In my case, taking out a significant loan would lead me to a disastrous ending if I could not find a place on the already saturated US job market. I would need to return to my home country and due to the parity, it would take me a lifetime to pay the loan even if I survived on very little. Doing a master's at my home country proved to be unfeasible as well because all decent universities demand attendance which would be an issue since I work full time and cannot/could not leave my job So I applied only to five schools. From two of them, I already received rejections. (Turns out my topic is studied by comm and English departments more often than it is studied within polsci. This could be used to my advantage since I have a BA in English but I really really want to do political science.Long story short, alignment issues.)
Anyways, this was to provide some context and to shield myself from the classical "What a whiner, duh." reaction.
Main story, I applied to Vandy but could not pay the fee at the time. Later, I e-mailed the Graduate School to say that I was definitely going to pay the fee and asked them not to penalize my application based on that. They directed me to the department. Same thing, no answer. Meanwhile, the additional documents I submitted a while ago has not been processed meaning that they probably saw that the fee was missing and did not look into the direction of my app. again. Only now I am somewhat capable of paying the fee but everyone here seems so sure that Vandy contacted all the students it intends to admit. The question is, should I still submit the fee? Would they look into my app then? But wouldn't it be joining the race at the finish line? I founnd two lower ranked schools with Feb. 15 deadlines. Should I give them a shot instead or would I be setting myself on a track to hell by applying to these schools? This is my first and last PhD cycle. I am financially, physically, and psychologically exhausted from the previous master's cycles. My family and my professors are tired. I will not even be able to find recommenders. There are financially more capable, better prepared people out there who will ask for letters and why bother with me instead of helping them, right? At least they have reasonable shots at good places.
This is so long, and for that, I profusely apologize.
What should I do now? Any suggestions?
P.S. When I started on the process, fee waiver deadlines have already passed. I could not start earlier because I was tackling a health problem and in fact I am three days out of surgery.
