I agree with the general sentiment of what you said, especially since I'm guilty of fanning the flames with regards to wanton speculation on when maintenance will happen, but I think you came across a little too acerbic, especially in calling us "pitiful".
Your point regarding the banner is a little strange. The NSF GRFP actually specified, on the program's homepage, that results would be posted by the end of this month (today, actually). Why wouldn't we listen to that and assume that results would be out a little earlier than the solicitation specified? The banner was posted back in mid-February - they had a month and a half to remove it, and they chose to do it essentially at the 11th hour. That's why we're a little miffed.
Like others have said, this is a space for discussion on the results, and that will most likely include anxious posts. I do agree that it's not healthy to spend the entire day waiting for results.