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It all depends on how you measure success, really.

I'm finishing my second year of graduate school, and I'll earn my MA this spring. My fiance didn't finish his bachelor's degree. But who cares? He's got a good job as an enlisted Air Force serviceman; he loves his job and he's good at it.

The only thing I do to "keep" him is give him lots of love and affection, communicate about problems, etc...the same things I'd do if he had a PhD too. We both talk about work with each other a little bit, especially when stressed. And, we discuss the future and the issues of thinking about being the "trailing spouse." Right now we're not sure who that's going to be, with me an academic and him a military man. If things stay as they currently are it will be me; if he leaves the military, it will be him. But the most important thing is that we're willing to make it work and be flexible (i.e. I don't necessarily want to be a professor willing to move to Podunk just to teach and he's considering us and a future family when he makes his re-enlistment decisions in August 2012).

We're about 2 to 2.5 hours away from each other. If you want to see your boyfriend often you find ways to make it work. I slave on the weekdays; he comes to see me almost every weekend when he's off (Thursday through Saturday) or I'll go to see him. I arrange my schedule so that I have at least one full day to spend with him with very minimal work. It's doable, you've got to be willing.

It all depends on how you measure success, really.

I'm finishing my second year of graduate school, and I'll earn my MA this spring. My fiance didn't finish his bachelor's degree. But who cares? He's got a good job as an enlisted Air Force serviceman; he loves his job and he's good at it.

The only thing I do to "keep" him is give him lots of love and affection, communicate about problems, etc...the same things I'd do if he had a PhD too. We both talk about work with each other a little bit, especially when stressed. And, we discuss the future and the issues of thinking about being the "trailing spouse." Right now we're not sure who that's going to be, with me an academic and him a military man. If things stay as they currently are it will be me; if he leaves the military, it will be him. But the most important thing is that we're willing to make it work and be flexible (i.e. I don't necessarily want to be a professor willing to move to Podunk just to teach and he's considering us and a future family when he makes his re-enlistment decisions in August 2012).

We're about 2 to 2.5 hours away from each other. If you want to see your boyfriend often you find ways to make it work. I slave on the weekdays; he comes to see me almost every weekend when he's off (Thursday through Saturday) or I'll go to see him. I arrange my schedule so that I have at least one full day to spend with him with very minimal work. It's doable, you've got to be willing.

It all depends on how you measure success, really.

I'm finishing my second year of graduate school, and I'll earn my MA this spring. My fiance didn't finish his bachelor's degree. But who cares? He's got a good job as an enlisted Air Force serviceman; he loves his job and he's good at it.

The only thing I do to "keep" him is give him lots of love and affection, communicate about problems, etc...the same things I'd do if he had a PhD too. We both talk about work with each other a little bit, especially when stressed. And, we discuss the future and the issues of thinking about being the "trailing spouse." Right now we're not sure who that's going to be, with me an academic and him a military man. If things stay as they currently are it will be me; if he leaves the military, it will be him. But the most important thing is that we're willing to make it work and be flexible (i.e. I don't necessarily want to be a professor willing to move to Podunk just to teach and he's considering us and a future family when he makes his re-enlistment decisions in August 2012).

We're about 2 to 2.5 hours away from each other. If you want to see your boyfriend often you find ways to make it work. I slave on the weekdays; he comes to see me almost every weekend when he's off (Thursday through Saturday) or I'll go to see him. I arrange my schedule so that I have at least one full day to spend with him with very minimal work. It's doable, you've got to be willing.

It all depends on how you measure success, really.

I'm finishing my second year of graduate school, and I'll earn my MA this spring. My fiance didn't finish his bachelor's degree. But who cares? He's got a good job as an enlisted Air Force serviceman; he loves his job and he's good at it.

The only thing I do to "keep" him is give him lots of love and affection, communicate about problems, etc...the same things I'd do if he had a PhD too. We both talk about work with each other a little bit, especially when stressed. And, we discuss the future and the issues of thinking about being the "trailing spouse." Right now we're not sure who that's going to be, with me an academic and him a military man. If things stay as they currently are it will be me; if he leaves the military, it will be him. But the most important thing is that we're willing to make it work and be flexible (i.e. I don't necessarily want to be a professor willing to move to Podunk just to teach and he's considering us and a future family when he makes his re-enlistment decisions in August 2012).

We're about 2 to 2.5 hours away from each other. If you want to see your boyfriend often you find ways to make it work. I slave on the weekdays; he comes to see me almost every weekend when he's off (Thursday through Saturday) or I'll go to see him. I arrange my schedule so that I have at least one full day to spend with him with very minimal work. It's doable, you've got to be willing.

I want to know - you said that your research interests haven't so much changed as you articulated them incorrectly and thus got the wrong people. First, is this something that can be fixed/addressed at the school that made the offer to you? Is there someone there with whom you can study what you really want? If not, then the rest doesn't matter. Secondly, if the answer to the first question is yes - do you think that was the number one factor in your rejection to the other places, and do you think if you had articulated yourself differently that you would've gotten in? Do you think that just clarifying your interests will get you in next year, all other things being equal?

About the location - it seems like that's your primary focus. Let me speak about this from the flip side, as a city girl whose parents moved her to the suburbs and who was DYING to get back to the big city, and got that wish when I got into my top choice. I love living in New York; I really do. HOWEVER, knowing what I know now, I would've gone to a smaller city and done my grad work had a smaller city been a better fit and given me the support I needed. While there were certain places I was 100% unwilling to go (Birmingham, AL - great program, and a great contact there, but heck no. I didn't even apply. Good thing, too, because my potential advisor moved to another school one year in, also in Alabama), one thing I've realized since I've been here is that you don't have the time to experience the surrounding city the way you think you're going to when you plot location. A small town or suburb is absolutely FINE for graduate school even if you consider yourself a big-city girl. The vast majority of your time will be spent reading, writing, meeting with advisors and other professors, attending classes, attending conferences, and doing other things that are NOT out enjoying the city. Even when you do have a social life, you quickly realize that city amenities can be very expensive! I would check out what the town has to offer before dismissing it whole cloth. Remember, it's actually a pretty short period of time - I'm almost finished with my 2nd year and I cannot believe it.

If you hope to get a PhD eventually, go with the PhD program. Carnegie Mellon is a well-respected school and the small perceived advantage that Yale would give you isn't worth the extra $30,000 in debt IMO, especially if you have undergraduate debt, and especially given that you'd only have to apply for PhD programs again in 2 years and go through this whole process all over again. You'd be gunning for the same end result, but with more debt in MS scenario than the PhD scenario, and that doesn't make sense.

FWIW I was confronted by a similar conundrum. 1/2 tuition scholarship at the #7 school of public health for an MPH and full funding for 3-years at the #6 school of public health. I thought I wasn't "sure" that I wanted to get a PhD and might want some years to explore and work and yadda yadda. When I examined myself more deeply, I realized that I was honestly just afraid of the proposition of the long haul for 5 years - I really, really wanted a doctoral degree, it was my goal and dream, but I was somehow afraid that I was mistakenly admitted and that I wouldn't be able to cut it here. Once I realized that (and a visit helped allay those fears) I cut the doubts and accepted this offer. 2 years later I'm happy and have absolutely no regrets.

I also think that you're mistaken about the research exposure in a PhD program v. an MA/MS program. While you are expected to have your research ideas a little bit more fleshed out when you enter a PhD program, there's nothing written anywhere that your interests can't change and expand and refine in your period in grad school, and indeed - they do for most students. They're SUPPOSED to, as you receive more training, read widely in your field, network and find out exactly where the gaps are and where you want to dig your research niche wrt to the literature and the researchers in the field. You'll have opportunities to explore different research topics in grad school (within a general area) and form collaborations. Unless you are completely unsure about what you want to study, it's pretty flexible.

I repeat - if you know you want to get a PhD eventually in your heart of hearts, go for the CMU offer. CMU is a very well respected school and you should not have problems getting a position in that field with a CMU degree.

Neuroscientists don't reduce people to rats; they use animal models that are close to some system they want to study in humans to study a phenomenon in rats. Also, some neuroscientists work directly with human subjects. My psychology department has social neuroscience and many (most?) of my colleagues in NS work with human subjects (mainly with fMRI). Do any of the neuroscience advisors at School #2 work with human subjects? Is there an opportunity for you to do social neuroscience, or even work with a clinical psychologist and a neuroscientist jointly to create a social/clinical neuroscience specialization for yourself?

However, if you want to be a clinician and work more directly with people, then you need to go to the clinical psychology program. I think you should only consider the "what ifs" if they are likely to happen. Do you want your own business? Does the idea of counseling people for a living (or even on the side) sound like a good one? (You also may be able to retrain as a neuropsychologist with a neuroscience degree; you can then see patients.) It's great to have options but they only matter if you actually like those options.

I think if your background were not strong enough the program would not have accepted you, so I wouldn't worry *too* much about that. It's probably at the point where you may have to take a few classes to beef up, but you should be fine.

I personally would definitely go to school #2 and find a way to make it work. The funding is better, the reputation is better, you'd have a good chance at working in academia afterwards. But then again, working with rats sounds interesting to me - been trying to find a way to inject some neuro into my social health life, lol - and I have no interest in treating clinical populations.