shepardn7

Well, I only applied to one school, so it's either going to work out or it's (unfortunately) not.

Well, it's for my (creative) manuscript, and because I want the book to be as good as it can be I really must keep revising and revising and revising. I wasn't planning on returning to any piece I included in my creative sample until after the process was over, but this morning I just felt I had to work on this one particular piece and now I'm just so frustrated, because I realize how a few small revisions (nothing even major!) made it, like, 50 times better. No fun. Hindsight is 20/20. Oh well, back to revising (newer stuff, though!).

Now the real doubts start coming in. Because a writer's work is never done, I decided to re-revise a couple of things I submitted in my creative sample. Now I'm really pissed that I didn't have the right brain-juice to revise this stuff further when it counted. There are one or two pieces in there that seem quite clunky compared to their revisions. So now I'm convinced these pieces will get me rejected. I'm really, really hating this. So anxious.

It depends. Here's a hypothetical situation for English programs: if School A = Stanford and School B = South Dakota Eastern State University (I don't think it exists, but you know what I mean), then I would probably turn down the visit to School B. But if School B = Northwestern or Emory, I would take them up on the visit, even if I was "positive" I wanted to go to Stanford. (US News rankings are generally BS, but to clarify: Stanford is #2 and Northwestern and Emory are in the twenties). This is a huge decision and you want to be sure you've made the right one for you years down the road -- no regrets. That said, I completely understand your worry about lost wages. I'm not sure what I can advise since I don't know your work situation or financial situation.

I think people are saying to go to School B no matter what happens, and I agree. Go see it. You are not doing anything wrong in seeing it; not everyone else who comes to the accepted weekend will come, either. Even if you really want to attend the other school, I still think it is an extremely good idea to go see School B anyway. Why not just go along for the ride and see what you think of it?

Agreed with this--you seem hard on yourself. Be happy, because you earned it, and congrats.

Yeah, I don't think you'll be able to live alone on that stipend, unless you live really far away from campus. When I said it was doable, I meant only if you have a partner or roommate. I totally understand wanting to live alone--I share with my boyfriend, which is very different than sharing with a friend or colleague. I'm a very private person as well. Good luck with your other schools. P.S. I haven't gotten a traffic ticket, but I've gotten relatively astronomical parking tickets for really dumb reasons.

This post is a a bit insensitive (plus, looking a gift horse in the mouth), since so many rejected people are so sad and anxious here about their prospects right now, but I will try to answer your question anyway. You should certainly go wherever you want. But you shouldn't choose your school based on this kind of pettiness. So what if the adcom ranked two or three people higher than you on the acceptance list? Why does that matter so much to you? Instead of getting butthurt, why not go and show them all you've got? After all, they are likely "ranking" based on the application materials alone. At some schools, they might even be using the literally meaningless GRE decide the fellowships. You can't let these things get to you. Teaching your first year might be more work, but you will come out the better for it. Why? Because teaching experience really effing counts. Chances are you won't emerge from your Ph.D program a rockstar, solicited and courted by top tier programs left and right. You might end up interviewing for low-tier teaching jobs with 600 other applicants. One extra year of teaching experience to show for yourself will help you more than that prestigious first-year fellowship, even with all its drawbacks. Speaking of teaching jobs, there aren't many. Wouldn't it be nice to have a little more money in the bank? Like, $6K more a year for five years? That's a hell of a lot more money given by the school you claim is better in your specialization. I would take that extra money, and take the extra teaching experience at the university level. Here's a thought. If cost of living is roughly equal in both cities, and you think the 18K is enough, this is what I would do: go to the school with more funding, and put $5-6K in a savings account every year for those five years. Just live on the $18K you would have earned at the other school. Wouldn't it be awesome to leave your humanities Ph.D program with almost $30K in the bank? I think it would be pretty awesome. Edit: haha, while I was slowly typing, straightshooting said everything I wanted to say.

I'm sorry. Fwiw, I have heard that often programs prefer not to accept their own undergraduates. Some programs seem to think it would be bad for your scholarship to remain in the same tiny community for all your scholarly training; others seem to think it would affect their overall reputation. Yes, of course it happens, but I do get the impression that good candidates are rejected by their alma mater often on principle. But that's just my impression; obviously I am not on an adcom.

Let us know how it turns out.

I think it just means these candidates are their first two choices and that more will be accepted soon. No one here should lose hope! We don't even know if the two favorites will accept the offer.

I, too, am going absolutely crazy. I think my boyfriend is beginning to hate me. I only applied to one place with a deadline of Dec 1st. I know they will be calling people any day now, likely within the next two weeks. I try so hard to work and do productive things, but all I can think about is "What if this, what if that?" All I do is waste time. My life is a farce.

That's true--gas is about $3.30 or so a gallon. I hate driving. I'm spoiled because I live on the east side and take the metro pretty much everywhere I need to go, but the train doesn't yet go to USC or UCLA (they're building it, and the stop at USC is finished, but the rest of the line is unfortunately still being built). If you go to UCLA, you should find a place close enough to campus to take one bus or walk. Whereas the area around USC is a bit iffy, the area around UCLA is good, though I don't know the rent prices out there. The student pass for the bus is cheap and will save you gas money, but you won't be able to take the bus without transferring if you live far away. Transferring buses is not worth it. Ultimately, this is just another roundabout way of saying that I think the 21K stipend is tight but doable for someone with his or her heart set on attending UCLA for academic reasons (it is, of course, a great program). I honestly do think it's a decent stipend in LA for someone who can rent a one bedroom with his or her romantic partner, but single people will definitely have more trouble with their budget.

When you say "teach," do you mean TA? Or head your own course? Teaching two "sections" would be a little less demanding than planning and leading two full courses. Then again, if the latter, you might have more freedom to structure the syllabus and schedule for your own convenience. I think if you've passed your quals by year four, all you really have to worry about is year two--that year will be miserably busy, especially if you have to travel far through NYC to each appointment you have. I wonder why they don't make the teaching more demanding for years 4 and 5 or 3 and 4? Year two will be more difficult because you will still be taking courses (2-3, I'm assuming, and each requiring you to write at least a 15-25 page paper around the same time you receive a mountain of student essays to grade) and/or preparing for your comps. Still, if you really want to attend CUNY more than another school, I'm sure it's doable once you fall into the routine of it. You should definitely email current students in the program about it; they'll know better than anyone.

I'm working on a creative project. I managed to write a new poem for my manuscript yesterday, but it was really rough going. All I could think about was how people were probably judging my work right then, talking about me, weighing my work (blood, sweat, tears) against the work of others of equal merit. It's so hard to deal with thoughts of rejection. I just want the weight to be lifted, either way, so I can truly get back to this manuscript, though I do fear that rejection might affect my morale and thus delay my project even further. Le sigh.

I chose "prestige" (not necessarily "ranking") in the poll above, and I think this is the best point--you need to take the prestige of your advisor (and all professors in your area of specialty) into the highest account. This is the person who will have the connections to push your name, and his or her name will likely help you more than the general name of the school. I think you also want to consider "new prestige" vs. "old prestige." Some professors at certain schools were "cutting edge" in the seventies; some are younger and "cutting edge" now. I'd probably go with the latter in a humanities advisor.

Hear, hear! GPA and GRE scores should not need to meet some invisible mark. It's unethical (stealing, lying!) to say on a website that you'll "consider the whole" and that you "don't have a minimum" when you don't really mean it. Some of us are quite poor and sacrificed a ton of time and money to apply. It's just plain wrong to just toss an app in the shredder based on a number after assuring applicants that numbers are "only one part" of a whole. Schools need to be clear and honest about their admission guidelines. Edit: But take heart, Tybalt. There's still hope for this year.

I also live in LA and 21K doesn't seem painfully low to me, all things considered. Then again, my past stipend was $10K in another town, and that was brutal. I think it's probably doable for most childless people. If you have a partner or roommate to share the expenses, that is (yes, you'd have to share an apt with another English student, because the number is peanuts if you want your own apartment). I live on the lowly east side with my boyfriend, and my rent is about $1250, so split that in half and get $625, plus about $50-70 a month for water/electric in the winter (less in summer), and $30 a month for internet. Then, I guess add cell phone and car insurance bills. When I subtract my own numbers from $1750, I have about $960 leftover for everything else. That seems enough to live on, at least for my boring lifestyle. Maybe not very comfortable, and not enough to save, but enough to prevent me from getting a second job. Am I missing a big expense here?

If you any of you are unfamiliar with hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com, you should go and read all the entries while you're waiting!

But aren't you applying to the joint Eng/Creative Writing program? Both programs are in the English dept, but they have different grad coordinators and application sets.

Well, if they for sure only accepted the max of spots they could give, and waitlisted the rest, then I'd say you have a great chance if you are high up on the waitlist. Students who get into programs like Duke (or are waitlisted, like you!) likely have other great offers and inevitably some of them will choose to go elsewhere. And, happy for you, no pressure to wait for that news, since you already have a good program to attend if it doesn't work out. Good luck!

I think the OP is joking--see the "Bread Loaf" thread under Waiting It Out. For people here unfamiliar with Bread Loaf, it is what Tina describes. It's two weeks, I think? No high schoolers or undergrads. Primarily published writers, with some emerging writers either there on fellowship or as "waiters" (the financial aid program = being a waiter during mealtime). It's tough to get in, but it's not a degree program. More like a place to make new friends, network, get some feedback on your writing, etc. Edit: actually, there does seem to be a separate MA program in a different field. That's confusing, LOL.

Haha okay. I'm 26, which is likely the age at which you will also start feeling old, even though it's not actually that old.

It's not really a school, but a rather competitive (creative) writers' conference/retreat. I'm applying this year.

Hey, D.J. Tanner also had a dream about Stanford. She was taking her SATs and everything was going wrong so she freaked out and failed. Then Vanna White told Kimmy she was going to Stanford and D.J. that she was going to Clown College by spelling out the glittery letters on the chalkboard. Now I'm wondering how many people here are old enough to remember Full House.