I am also struggling with my personal statement. I would be willing to take a look at yours if you will look at mine, just let me know. I went to the career development center at my school, and they were able to help a lot.
Here are some websites they gave me:
http://www.wpi.edu/Academics/FS/personal.pdf
http://www.graduatingengineer.com/higher-education/20001106/Getting-Personal https://career.berkeley.edu/Grad/GradStatement.stm http://www.wpi.edu/Academics/FS/essays.html