modernity

Who cares? Well, something similar to this happened last year. It's always the same story - I know I shouldn't have opened my letter/I didn't think it would hurt anything, but I did and now I'm worried and stuck.(One time, the LOR didn't forget but actually said negative things about the student). So I'm hoping this serves as an example/warning for future people that browse this forum. I also say the same thing about not looking at your SOP once you've submitted it, but that doesn't have the ethical question attached to it. You're right that with this individual, what's done is done (and I don't really want to make them feel any worse than they already do) - but there are other people that are going to read this post that might benefit from this person's mistake.

That's crazy!! I can understand being closed on the holidays, but why would you shut down for that whole time?

And is also an excellent example of why you shouldn't look at your letters if someone hasn't given you permission to do so, and hasn't had an open conversation with you about it. It's unethical and puts you in a state of worry that you won't be able to resolve without admitting it to your LOR.

Why do they bother having that box that says "have you gone by any other name?" if they're not going to check it! Good grief. Glad it worked out for you.

We debated this one pretty thoroughly in a couple of other threads. The consensus was that it is customary to waive (for a variety of reasons), but that the professors/administration/your LOR writers should be aware that the law states that you cannot see them unless you are admitted/enrolled in one of the graduate schools you applied to and it is also your right to see those letters if you want to. However, the big deal was that many LOR writers refuse to write letters if people do not waive, and schools may think that the letters weren't as honest as they could have been if your LOR writer knows you will see it. If your LOR writers did not say anything to you, then you've dodged the first possible bullet... the second would only be that the adcomms might raise an eyebrow at it. Waiving your rights is erring on the side of caution, but not doing so isn't a death sentence. You should be fine, I wouldn't stress too much about it.

It could just be the mail- I've had several pieces of mail come late, or two that were sent on the same day from the same address to the same address show up at completely separate times within the last month. Definitely contact the other schools involved, and if there's still a problem I would try to see what can be done about resending them.

Yes, this was basically my point as well. If the writer really likes you, then asking them to do what they promised to do (late no less) shouldn't irritate them in the first place. As intelligent professionals, who were once in the shoes of "grad school applicant" they should understand - and if they once completely forgot - they should understand even more why you would be emphatic this time. I'm not suggesting doing anything crazy or out of the ordinary - but I am suggesting calling the office to get the professor's office hours, sending another email, and trying to call again. Some people do not always respond to email or phone calls even if they're aware of them, because they tell themselves they'll get back to the student later and then forget as the day/week gets busy. It's not going to pay off for a student to play coy in this situation -the worst that can happen is that they don't get in and that's already going to happen with a missing letter, and the student isn't asking for anything that the professor hasn't already promised at least three times over. (If the professor changed his mind then he needs to SAY so, not just disappear.)

I only recommended go all out for joro because of the background story they have - this recommender let them down last year and in so doing, prevented them from getting into grad school. The rec. promised to make up for it this year, and then on the day of swore up and down that they would have it in and then, yet again did not turn them in. If the rec doesn't want to submit the LOR then stop promising to do it !! Simple, no need to keep jeopardizing a students chances like that. It may be that joro wasted money again this year... and so to me, that takes the situation to another level of sabotage. Its one thing when a rec is just late once, or on one application, or something of that nature...joro's situation is completely different and they really have nothing to lose by risking the irritation of the professor.

You can tell a stylist that you're going for an interview and you need a neat look - they can do that sort of updo and it normally does not cost as much as a prom type updo..or you can go to the salon earlier and ask your stylist to teach you an easy/neat way to do your hair for an interview. I think this is good advice for a lot of college kids who have done the "wash and dry" style for a long time and I think it can help with confidence sometimes too.

Yeah I agree with the "go all out" method here in this very rare case. I mean the worst that could happen is that he won't write you a letter, which is what he is already doing... Don't let him get off without at least a solid explanation as to why he has let you down AGAIN and continues to promise he won't.

I don't know if funding is involved..because you didn't say but: Council of Graduate Schools Resolution

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!! (This statement cannot have enough emphasis.) Do not torture yourself.

I really wish you had some course of action against this professor. As I said before, it's one thing if he doesn't want to write the LOR for you...it's another when he potentially sabotages your chances with this behavior.

I almost responded to this seriously, and then I remembered the name from the last comment like this.

Just checking in...there are many more of us than I expected! Anyone finished with apps? Heard anything back yet? Have anything else interesting happen to them in the admissions process? I'm winding mine up. I just can't seem to let go of this SOP. must...keep...editing. haha. I also am nervous about sitting around waiting for answers. I think that may drive me nuts!

This is true - some of my rec's submissions took a day or two to process (and maybe if they have a lot since it was the due date, it's taking longer??). I don't know perhaps we're grasping at straws... I am just hoping there is some good reason for this!

I think we largely agree. My original point was that low SES isn't going to be reflected in the GRE the way that it would be in the SAT or ACT... college has some mitigating factors- those that go to college have drive/ambition to overcome their situation, typically find a cohort/professor to cheer them on if they didn't have it at home, have had an additional 4 years to overcome gaps in their K-12 education, etc. In some ways they've already become a statistical minority by jumping that hurdle, which makes the next hurdle (the GRE) that much easier to leap across. I didn't mean to imply that it was easy by any means, or that it can't a factor. I think being a first gen. college student also might outweigh the low SES in factors that cause difficulty. I am sure it has to be easier for someone with parents who have graduate education, where they can go to them and get advice on the process, than it is to spend hours scouring the internet and other sources for the "how tos". I know when I started, I didn't even know what the GRE was going to be like. Perhaps some sociology grad student(or other related discipline) can look into this further for us.

Oh no. I had my fingers crossed for you too.

I'm glad some of you heard from your LORs, and I hope the rest of you do too.

Oddly enough, I fit into all of these categories you are claiming are disadvantaged students... I'm speaking from personal experience when I say that someone from a lower ses and a first generation college student (who worked all through college and paid for it themselves in addition to having a sick family member) can overcome the GRE. A $30 book from the bookstore did wonders. It wasn't easy, it took more money than I could afford really, and I didn't get a perfect score but it was a hurdle I could jump through . If I had still been in undergrad, where a lot of this information was fresh in my mind, and I had even more resources available to me at the library/through student services I think it would have made it much easier. If you had not acquired those skills in K-12, you would have had to have made up for them in college, or at the very least learned how to study effectively or you would have had a number of problems succeeding in getting your BA/BS in the first place. The GRE is more about learning how to take a test, than it is knowing the information that's on it. This is something that may be left out of your education regardless of SES and background. That said, I think the GRE is flawed in a lot of ways and is largely unnecessary for grad school admission- as someone said it's really not that great of a predictor for grad school performance. Can SES have an effect? Certainly - it obviously does if there are correlation studies on the matter. I just don't think you have to spend thousands to overcome it - college education and the tools available there, assuming you know you want to pursue grad school, can certainly go a long way in doing so. Low SES/working in college/etc. in and of themselves are not singular factors in performing poorly, a lot of things factor into how you will perform on the GRE, and I just don't think it's that easy to explain. I think the cost of the GRE is the bigger deterrent- and is the biggest influence on people from low ses (that and the cost of apps!!).

It's unlikely they will notice. I would just let it go. Even if they do, they're likely to overlook it. If I remember correctly, someone on here said that they mentioned the wrong school in one of their SOPs and still got in.

With mine, it's pretty reflective of the prestige and/or the general cost of living within that area (ie NYC/Boston fees are more than those in smaller cities in the midwest/plains states). However... I don't understand how it costs that much money for them to process our applications, I mean, we do most of the work if we do it correctly, don't we? I think my total costs are going to go over about $500 or so, not counting my initial GRE costs and rescheduling fees. I'm trying not to add it all up, I really don't want to know.

Haha! I will try that, hopefully it works!

It's like you read my mind! I was just thinking to myself today...hmm there has to be an article out there somewhere about how adcomm's approach applications, some insider tips or something... maybe I will post on the forum and see if anyone has seen anything like that.... and there here it was! creepy, haha, but thank you!

I think this would depend on why you were eating lunch with him. Were you doing it because he is interested in some work you are doing? As part of a conference? Because a friend of a friend did so and you tagged along? Once you answer that question it will probably answer the would it be good/will they care questions. You have to make sure everything is relevant, because if you just drop things in to win brownie points it's going to stick out.