poiuyt

I'm sure this was written 15 times already, but here's 16: If your school is a member of the CGS the deadline by which you need to reply is April 15th. In the meantime, report them for pressuring you and they will no longer be a member of CGS, and then people won't make the mistake of applying to them. The CGS was made for a freaking reason! If your school is NOT a member of CGS you are s*** out of luck, and you need to follow whatever deadline they set. And let me preempt you - list of CGS schools can be found here: http://www.cgsnet.org/Default.aspx?tabid=102

I'd love to see how many people were like me, hitting submit on the last day and making the Berkeley system crash... *edit: That was supposed to be plural - as in "In general, when did you submit your apps?"

Well what the heck is their problem then? Send out that rejection email so we can all move on Berkeley! Jeez.

I'm pretty sure that by "last minute" they are not referring to applications submitted on the due date (at 11:45pm) but to applicants who weren't even planning to apply until a week before the deadline. Their SOP, PHS and probably LOR's look rushed, have not gone through the appropriate amount of editing and rewriting and are thus referred to as "crap". Most of my apps were turned in last minute but that's because I spent every waking moment making sure they were perfect before submitting them.

Screw it! Let's just grab some torches and spend the money we saved up for the big move to go school to school and set fire to any department that hasn't sent out results yet! The fires will be seen from space!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ...ahem... I'm ok...

Oh yeah, it's a top uni - the only downfall being their unfortunate habit of funding in bananas... But hey, 15K is 15K. Brilliant.

Great opportunity to meet profs and grads in your field. Just go!

I also often break into this song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNGtY_gQ ... feature=iv

I love the Flight of the Conchords, and Murray sings my favorite rejection theme song. I sing it whenever I get rejected (3 times so far) and it makes me feel better. Hopefully it'll make you feel better too. Plus, you can't go wrong with the Conchords... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MqllCCPG5I

Yes they do have to give you what they offered. And it really wasn't the school but my POI. And no she wasn't allowed to do that. I'll pm you.

Not to give anyone a heart attack, but it happened to me a few years ago. The prof. offered 4 acceptances, but only wanted 2 people, and I was the 3rd to accept. She then made it very clear in a not nice email that she would pretty much make my life a living hell if I didn't rescind my acceptance of the offer. And, yeah, that is in fact completely unethical. But they did not rescind the acceptance on their end - so I potentially could have still gone (straight into the maw of the beast). Of course all of that happened after I turned down my other offers... Luckily for me, I avoided all kinds of hell by not going there and my prospects in life and academia are rosy at this point. Seriously, I dodged about 7 different bullets. I still feel bad for the other people who accepted. Imagine having to work with someone like that... On the bright side - if you make a bad match with a professor, you don't want to have to spend 5 years of your life working with them anyway. But no, the school will not rescind unless you do something really really bad.

6-9??? Holy crap! I thought my 3 were out of control! But hey, that's what happens when you combine households...

Yeah, so I really don't like this "career > so" stuff. If you and your SO are not S enough to fight for a common solution that's your own thing, but that equation doesn't work for many of us. My SO is awesome and we do not want to separate over our careers. So thank Darwin for compromise. Our plan was the following: I would only apply to places where he could transfer with his job. This meant that I didn't apply to some very good programs, and did apply to both out of reach places and not so great ones. This also meant that he would have possibly had to move somewhere where his career growth potential would be limited. There was one city in particular where moving would have been fantastic for him, and great for me had I been accepted to one of those out of reach schools. Luckily, he is fully willing to move to any of the places we chose and it looks like we will be moving to a place that's second on his list (he's very quickly warming to it). The other compromise we agreed on is that if we go to his #1 place he would have to commute to work from my school's neighborhood, and if we moved anywhere else - I would commute from his work neighborhood. He and I are lucky because we are able to be flexible. I don't know how things would have worked out if he was unable to move, but we would have certainly tried to find another compromise. We are grown up enough to know that we have an unusually good relationship in which raising children and building a life together would be a completely pleasant experience. Other people may be in a situation where they only need a good excuse to break it off... I do find it funny, that in the best relationships, the people are fully willing to compromise and if no compromise can be met to part ways amiably. It's sad to part ways in that case because you know you're losing a special thing. I am definitely grateful for how lucky I am in this case.

I tend to agree with socialpsych. Something that says "Thank you for your note. I will indeed let you know my decision as soon as possible." should get your point across to them as well. Also, this tells you nothing about the program beyond the fact that their number people are trying to make sure they get as many students as they want. The sooner they know if you're in or out, the sooner they can figure out whether they can accept the people on their waiting list. You shouldn't let any of this get to you. You need to be your only priority. I say sit on all of your acceptances until you're sure. Be polite but firm - if they are in CGS they need to wait for you and cannot punish you for it. I was "nice" once and told an awesome school I would not accept their offer very early on, and then the school I chose screwed me and I had no backup. Luckily that worked out awesome for my life, but it still sucked at the time.

Backup plan? Ha. Won't the universe simply cease to exist for me? :wink:

Bump. Anyone else from Riverside? What's the transportation situation there? Is there a decent way to get to and from LA without a car for those with employed SO's? Can you get around town by bike?

Start a new thread you guys. This one is supposed to be funny and lighthearted and not a forum for people who value careers more or less than relationships to preach at each other. Go start that fight somewhere else. Moving on! I want to get a PhD so bad... I evilly plan on being the best in class in a devious and unshakable way. I will know all the answers, and everyone will hate me! Buwahahahahaha!

At least ice cream doesn't taste like defeat! ? Thanks!

When is WUSTL's visit weekend? I saw someone post they got rejected by email, but I've heard nothing yet. I am at the point where I just want to get the freaking rejections so I can move on with my life. I have made no contingency plans here Grad Schools! Let me know where I stand (in the reject pile) so I can start applying to work at restaurants (shoot me). Why don't we have one of those fancy smiley faces that bang themselves on a brick wall? I could use one of those...

Amen. I'm a first generation graduate, first generation American, low income student, worked 40 hrs a week in a food service job, got multiple degrees, and found out hardly anyone gives a crap. Should we manage to succeed in spite of our obstacles, may we be the ones who will extend a hand to a new generation of hardship survivors. May we be the ones who will fight for their acceptance, and funding, and education, not in spite of the 3.0 they earn but because they managed to earn that 3.0 in spite of their life. From my heart, I wish you all the best of luck, and if lady luck gets busy serving others, I wish you success as reward for all the hard work you've done, and all you've accomplished, fighting for everything tooth and nail.

Another newbie, though I have been lurking obsessively for quite some time... I am hating every minute of this soul crushing process. I do feel lucky to have found this website at least. Although I'm not sure that what we do here is in any way healthy...

[quote name="Louiselab

This whole process seems to be EXACTLY "dangerous and psychologically scarring illegal experimentation" and none of us are even guaranteed admission! I want to get a PhD so bad I have not even considered what my life would be should I not get accepted/funded. Everything other than acceptance/funding is a blurry vision of a black-hole, end of the universe, there is no future type of existence.

I have lived in Tempe for the past 10 years. 1. It is hot. It is ungodly hot. It is ungodly hot after 10 years and no, I'm not used to it and no you won't get used to it either. But you will forget, god willing, for the 4 blissful months of Nov-Feb. You will forget how hot it gets, you will say to yourself "I can survive another summer here!" and you will regret it every time... but then you'll forget again. Is it bearable? Of course it is. That is why the area is growing like mold. I think 6 new cities have been added since I moved here! 2. Yes you need a car. You need a car like a fish needs water. Do you want to get somewhere other then where you are standing? Then yes you need a car. 3. There are plenty of places to go on outings, hike, ski, bike, or horse back ride. Bring water. And sunscreen. Yes, bring sunscreen to ski as well. 4. The people are not all white! Seriously? I assure you, they are not all white. I went to a Phoenix high school where white was the clear minority. It's white-ish in Tempe, but it's not all white... jeez. 5. Tempe is not Scottsdale. Scottsdale is shallow and rich and lame. Tempe is an OK town though it pains me to admit it. And when I leave (finally) I know I will miss it and I will hate myself for it. Though they all seamlessly connect, each town in the greater Phoenix area has it's own feel, and Tempe's is the best. Lots of great places to hang out, have a brew, eat a good meal... if you live within two miles of ASU you can bike to a lot of them. But if you'd like some groceries, see #2. 6. The people here are nice. "Nice" is a great word for how the people are. And nice is good. Nice is really good. 7. Getting your bike stolen because you didn't get a U-lock is not a crime. It would have been a crime if it had NOT been stolen. Lock up your bike. I don't know what the actual crime rate is like, but I have no reason to complain. If you are not shady, and if you don't surround yourself with shady people, you will be OK. And yes, the greater Phoenix area is known for meth. Unless you're looking for meth, you won't notice it's there. Directions for a better Tempe existence: -Be over 21. -Live in downtown Tempe. I just moved out of my amazingly awesome, one bedroom, perfect for a single grad apartment in downtown Tempe and I was paying less than $450 a month. This is not the norm (though the norm is not too bad either) - I got lucky while driving around the downtown neighborhoods, and you could too. Living in downtown Tempe is the way to go. ASU is in downtown - it was a 10min walk or 3min bike ride from my place. Try to live west of ASU. Get a bike too. -Go to the following places: Four Peaks Brewery, Casey Moore's, Green, Pho Nhat, Bunna Coffee, Changing Hands Bookstore. Papago Brewery, though in Scottsdale, is a Tempe place in spirit. So go to these places. Unless you are shallow and rich and lame. Then go to Scottsdale. And stay there. Weeble, though not a grad student, I can offer up the following. The ASU social pscyh department is amazing. The professors are caring and insightful and brilliant. The grad students are friendly and helpful and awesome. It's a picky department so you should feel special. I did my undergrad at ASU and I didn't get any of that "party school" stuff because I was too busy actually getting an education. It was there, I just didn't go there, and it won't come for you on its own. That being said, you can always have fun in Tempe. The grad soc-psych students seem like a cohesive group and are very inclusive and friendly. I can't tell you which of your choices is "better", but I believe you couldn't go wrong with ASU. If you have any other questions please feel free to pm me.