Lymrance

How many blogs like this are there? We all know it is hard, we all know the pitfalls, we all know the difficulty. Some people need to vent and tell everyone else how big of a mistake their decision is going to be despite being at a different program in a different field and a different person. Some are bitter at their choices.

I wish all these people would just man up and quit if they hate it so much. You read and write for a living in an air-conditioned building. You aren't working in a factory or on a construction site or in a nuclear reactor core. You could have it worse.

I still hadn't heard from 8 programs so I decided to throw caution to the wind and email DGS for status inquiries. It was awesome. I got replies back from 4 schools within minutes, one rejection, one wait list, and a couple of "please be patient." But they told me when to expect letters and so finally I don't have to keep wondering when WHEN WHEN????? I think it's OK to send a quick, polite email asking for status. I explained that I had an offer and was eager to hear from the other schools I applied to before making a final decision.

My fiancé won't be able to follow me on a J-2 visa because America doesn't recognize same-sex marriages.

Just great.

My SO-at-the-time was applying to programs two years ago, and I don't think I was very supportive and understanding at the time. I was young and immature, to be sure, but I regret not being more understanding.

We've since broken up, but have remained very good friends. Now that I am going through the application ordeal, he's probably the most supportive and understanding person I know because he's been through it all. It's a bit embarrassing because I can see how much I was lacking that department.

I know you're in a slightly different situation because you're engaged, but I only let my boyfriend do the major veto of NYC (not that bothered because of cost of living, though my best friend does live there), but in terms of the ultimate choice, I'm not going to let him drag me down. I'd say wait on the list, but if it comes to the point that you're still on it and the other school is pressuring you, go with that one. It is a tough decision though. Right now, the only school I've been accepted to is in SC, and my boyfriend is very much a homebody (his family is ALL in Rhode Island and most of have lived in the same town their whole lives), so I'm not sure he'll want to come with me. ugh!

Oy, my poor husband. I'm a talker, so he's gotten very skilled at listening to me ramble ad nauseam while feigning something resembling actual interest

Back when I started looking at schools, he got one "veto" to eliminate a city/state of his choosing from my list (he chose NYC). He's in the early stages of his location-independent career, so he could also afford to make that veto based on personal preference rather than job availability. Now that I have offers to compare, I've just tried to encourage him to give as much input as he can. I would hate to have him sacrifice in silence for my benefit--he's the type that would--and then resent me for it a decade later. The whole process has actually been pretty smooth so far. On the other hand, we had an exhaustive talk about the academia lifestyle long before we got married, so he's always known what he was getting in to with me.

I do thank him regularly for putting up with me, and I'm definitely buying him a bottle of his favorite fancy gin when I send in my final acceptance paperwork

It strikes me, as I peer out of my narcissistic haze, that the grad school application/decision making process is as hard on significant others as it is on applicants. What are your unique experiences as someone in a relationship, either as an applicant or SO? How have you dealt with them?

It seems to take a little bit longer in Canada. Definitely check the results page and type in the name of the school and program to get an idea of when they send out offers. check here --> http://thegradcafe.com/survey/

The funding will probably take longer but I don't think the admit will. You just might receive an offer and be waitlisted for funding. If anything make sure you've got a backup plan for funding. Waiting sucks but you'll have your offers within a few months. Don't worry. Good luck with Planning.

There are so many students on here trying to decide whether or not they should contact their program seeking additional admissions information. I am of the opinion that you should not bother the admin staff of the program you are interested in. Your decision will come via phone/email/snail mail. Just wait! Nothing good will come of you calling the department. Just sit tight and wait like everyone else. Part of the process of becoming a graduate student is learning patience and perseverance. Every single one of the pre-graduate students on this board are going crazy waiting for the admissions decisions to come in. Take a walk, watch a movie, get a puppy- whatever you need to calm yourself down. Also, put yourself in the place of the admin professionals who have to answer the phones at the department you are interested in- they don't know enough to satisfy you, and they certainly don't know whether you will get in the program. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!

What I'd do is contact the professor and ask him if he can take some time out to talk with you on the phone.

When you get him on the phone, you can ask him what he's looking for in a new student, what projects he expects you to work on, what background, knowledge and experience you need to have and stuff like that. If all that looks good, then your problem is solved. If it doesn't, then you can let the professor know what your concerns are and I think there is a pretty good chance he'll try to address them.

I'm experiencing the same thing right now, and I have actually dreaded receiving more acceptances as well. I received a few rejections last week and was HAPPY. I've been trying to reply to acceptance emails quickly, so that I don't have to talk to POIs on the phone or what not if they decide to call a few days after emailing. I've got two schools that I still need to turn down right now, and both called me to communicate their decisions. I feel as though I should have the courtesy to actually call them to turn the offers down, but I just really don't like thinking about having to decline them over the phone. It's especially tough since the DGS at one of the schools called me again last night to give me more information about the program. I wasn't expecting the call, so I wasn't really prepared to turn down the offer in a very respectful manner at that point (I hadn't thought much about what to say and I'm awkward on the phone anyways). I also feel like they'll think I'm weird for knowing where I'm going to attend even though I've never actually visited that school (I'll be visiting in early April, but I already know I'll end up going there regardless - I was an idiot and let on to one of the two other schools that I hadn't actually visited there yet). I know, I know, why should I care? They probably won't even think twice about it... but I still hate having to do it!

Dont feel bad!

When you are rejected by the schools, they automatically send you that template email without further soliciting, and I dont think they would cry and feel sorry as you are now haha