I understand your problem. I was also faced with a similar problem for my masters and decided to go with the less prestigious yet cheaper school.
I would suggest that if you do pick Stanford, try to do a credit overload and graduate early, that way you can at least save some of the living costs.
I think you will do fine with either programs. I have seen a lot of job listings requesting only ivy league graduates, but if someone only wants a certain kind of employee, maybe you wouldn't want to work for such a company anyways.
I think you are right, campus appearance or admin problems should not be a factor, the only factor is: is the name and the prestige worth the amount of debt?
I would try to look for some opportunities in Stanford right now and also check the possibility of overloading credits and graduating early, if you find out that none of this is possible, then go to SUNY SB.