ktel

I will second jeffster's point about just meeting people. I have never met someone I wanted to date when I was actively looking for someone to date. I think people can sense a bit of the desperation when you're that focused. Instead what I would try to focus on was just going out and having a good time and meeting people. Even though I'm in a committed relationship I still do the same thing when I go out. And in addition to appearance, there are many other traits that are very attractive to the opposite sex. For example, my boyfriend is an awesome cook. The first time he cooked me dinner I was incredibly impressed. I know when I look for a mate I look for more than just appearance, things like having a good job (or being in school) and being generally responsible are also high on my wish list.

I think the only one revealing unattractive character traits on this forum is you, judging by both this thread and the previous ones you posted.

Me! Yay engineering!

I think Sigaba sums it up nicely. I assumed you were not interested in actually having friendships with your classmates, so I presented my advice as such. Take it or leave it.

In true bureaucratic fashion I believe I had to go in person to get an ID card, where I was issued my university ID username, and then was able to access my e-mail.

You seem to not get what I'm saying at all. What I said was you should try to establish a relationship with these people. Barring that, if your true motivation is to only get to know them so you can get their help with school work, try your best to not make it look that way.

I think I clearly pointed out where in your posts I gained my assumptions from. Obviously I don't know you, so all I have to go on is what you posted here. I'll give you another piece of advice then. If you don't feel comfortable lying to the professor, your other option is to tell the truth. Tell him you have reached out to other students and no help has been received. Personally I see this as the less favorable option as it puts your character and your interactions with others in question. But it's only a 12 week program, not like you will be making long lasting relationships. Your assumptions about my interactions with my peers is interesting. The classmates I relied heavily on, also relied heavily on me (such is the case in a program the favors group work and interaction as mine did), and also became very close friends. Our friendship is what drove me to help them whenever they needed it, hence my advice to you about your approach.

While you haven't specifically said anything about your approach, you have said many subtle things that suggest how you may have approached them. For example: " I've been friendly with everyone and helped all who asked when I could, without requiring them to pretend to be interested in me as a person first (real friendship takes time) " This is what you have done, and I understand why you might expect the same from others, but it's a natural thing for people to hold back when they think they are being approached for the sole purpose of getting something out of them. Even if you only want to get something out of them, more finesse is needed. Another sentence that made me infer things about your approach: " We haven't gotten any assignments back yet, so I don't know if I'm bombing the course or doing well or what. Or, for that matter, who in the class is worth asking for help. I guess we'll see who the "stars" are and perhaps the dynamic of the class will change then. " This to me indicated the most that you see your classmates only of worth to you if they help you out. That may or may not be the case, but don't make it look that way to them. People will be much more helpful if they enjoy helping you and not only if they can get help in return. I think people who respond negatively to a direct request may do so for fear of being used. You are speaking with them only if you want something from them. By offering to meet in a group, prior to having an actual question you need to ask this aspect is missing. If they too have questions they need to ask, they may feel more comfortable asking in this setting where its more collaborative and less likely to be misconstrued as purely selfish. It's not an issue of the amount of time they want to dedicate, but about how they perceive your intentions. I personally have never hesitated to help a classmate even if I don't think they will be able to similarly help me in return. If I had a classmate who needed my help on a regular basis without helping me, perhaps I would limit my advice, but I would not completely rebuff someone initially even if they rebuffed me first. I didn't specifically provide advice about approaching the prof, because I think it's quite obvious. Lie to him and say you have asked others for help and nobody knew the answer. Simple.

I'm not suggesting you need to become best friends with them. Just present yourself differently to them. Even if they are not normally this competitive, if someone came up to me solely for the purpose of asking for help on an assignment, I would probably be hesitant to help them. You need to go about it differently. Perhaps suggest to people that you all get together to work on an upcoming assignment so you can ask each other questions.

Interesting. I relied heavily on support from my peers throughout my undergrad, and then had to rebuild a similar network when I went to grad school. I focused on making friendships first, rather than just asking for help right off the bat, so it didn't look like I was only interested in talking to them to get help with my assignments. At first I felt similar to you, that people were competitive and wanted to keep their stuff to themselves. That was so not the case at all, which I soon discovered. I managed to break in by organizing a midterm study session where we could all do past exams and compare answers. This benefited everyone, as there were no solutions provided. This initial ice breaker activity paved the way to me being able to ask for actual assignment help.

I have had a lot of crazy moments while in grad school. A little while ago I had myself convinced that my research progress was so poor that they were going to kick me out of my program, even though I had never had any indication that that was the case. I had been doing well in my classes, my research presentations were well received and I managed to secure a large chunk of external funding for myself next year. I just received my grade for my research assessment meetings and was given an A, confirming that I was indeed crazy and irrational.

Yup sounds normal to me. I also found many of the papers I read at first seemed like they were written in another language. It takes time but you will eventually figure it out. I too started a bit early, doing somewhat related work for the summer at my undergrad institution. I was very happy that I did so, it definitely helped me a lot.

For the day to day everybody in my department wears jeans. Even if it's a special guest lecture I am one of the few students that might dress up a little more that day. It will totally depend on your department, you will see right away.

Your specific diet may not work for everyone, but I think you do bring up an excellent point. So many people focus on the exercise aspect, when diet is unbelievably important. I have been blessed with an amazing metabolism and can luckily afford to eat junk food, but if it ever slows down I know I would have to adjust my diet significantly.

I would disagree with the above poster that experience negatively taints another person. It took me a while of trying out different types of people to find out what I really wanted in a partner. Some relationships didn't end well, but any bitterness tends to quickly subside. To be perfectly honest, and sorry to the OP, but yes I would be concerned to know that someone was in their 20s and had never kissed anyone or been on a date. But, if I had already developed a friendship with that person I think I would be less concerned because I would know their personality. So my suggestion to the OP is to not divulge this information until you have a friendship or more serious relationship with the girl that you would like to date. I have never tried online dating, but I have always been very active in online communities (such as this one) and found it a great way to communicate with people, particularly when I was younger and more introverted. Perhaps this would be an excellent way for the OP to gain the experience that could help him foray into the offline dating world.

Yes it is normal. And those feelings will probably amplify whenever you have bad moments in the school you choose. It's very natural to think the grass would be greener on the other side. I have certainly felt that myself throughout the last year. I have to remind myself of why I chose my program in the first place and all the amazing things that have happened to me both personally and academically since moving here.

I don't think going to grad school just because you can't find a job is the right reason. What exactly about grad school will help you find a job afterwards? Sometimes you really do need the second degree, but if you don't, you're not fixing the problem you're just delaying it. For example, from the posts on this forum I might guess that English is your second language? Perhaps this might be holding you back, and focusing your attention on improving your writing skills might be more worthwhile. And in response to avicus, just because your parents could help you, doesn't mean that you shouldn't apply for financial aid. For example, in Canada when applying for government loans you must provide your parents' income if you have been out of high school for 4 years or less. After 4 years you are no longer required to do so, and therefore would probably qualify for much more aid. This is regardless of whether your parents would still help you out or not.

Nevermind having no research in math/econ, what about courses? The lack of research, coursework, and low GRE sub score don't bode well for you. You would probably have to go back to take more related courses, perhaps you could see if there were any after degree programs you could enroll in somewhere.

Wow, welcome to my life. I did an undergrad in Mechanical Engineering and all I took was one numerical methods with MATLAB course and one introductory C++ course. I am now doing numerical methods in Fortran for my Master's. I eased into it by doing a summer research project before I started that required the use of C++ and Fortran codes. I typically find an online tutorial sort of thing that seems good enough and read through the details of the language. Since our code is very far along, I then just dove straight into reading our code and trying some new things. My coursework also required a great deal of MATLAB programming so that also helped me ease into it.

You must have gone to a smaller university? At my undergraduate university, with over 30000 students, nobody would know if you dated someone in a different department. Heck, I dated someone in engineering, but a different discipline, and we might as well have gone to different schools.

I would do the same as you. I have no patience for completely unreadable writing. If it was a bit messy I would try my best, but if I had to spend a significant amount of extra time on it in comparison to the other assignments I would not mark it. I would probably ask my prof what I should do about it as well.

Oh, I have a good get fit tip to share. I really hate running without a purpose. Sprint training, intervals, running to score a try, or any sort of running that only takes a short amount of time or distance is fine with me. But long distance or time? I hate it. So I have begun actually running to places. This has the benefit that I can not quit early or I can't get home (or to wherever I need to be). Plus if I need to be somewhere by a certain time, I know I have to run at a certain pace as well. Works remarkably well for me.

Why don't you ask? While I would assume them not telling you means you don't get any money, it doesn't hurt to ask. I clarified all my funding with my school before attending.

I'm a pretty dedicated athlete, so am playing rugby for 6-7 months of the year and then off season training the rest. It's a great way to destress and make new friends.

I think you are insane. The drive is an hour and a half without traffic. Knowing full well how brutal Toronto traffic can be, that could easily double. Maybe possible if you only have to be at school once or twice a week, but anything more than that and you could be spending anywhere from 3 to 6 hours a day commuting. Not to mention the gas.