asleepawake

Context matters. So, yes, in a discussion of race, the fact that I am white matters. The fact that I have that privilege, and that I have not been systematically oppressed because of my race, matters. I cannot speak directly to that oppression. Identity matters. The way others read you matters, the way that people hear you when you speak, see you when you walk past, answer to you when they disagree, or speak to you in public. Identifying the ways that identity is a huge contributor to our beliefs, our perspectives, and simply what we see and what we have knowledge of, is not synonymous with an ad hominem attack. You are not wrong by virtue of being male. However, being male means that you are far less likely to see sexual harassment if you aren't perpetrating it (because women are harassed and assaulted at a much higher rate): It becomes invisible to you. It happens when you are not there with the door closed. That is what privilege is. It is not your fault, but it exists. Anyway, the rest of us are making cookies, and you're invited.

I didn't feel personally ignored. Don't worry - many posts go unanswered. That's fine. It just seems that sometimes you're looking for a bit of drama.

This just became the official thread of the LOLs.

I also think it is worth mentioning that "I'm bitter I didn't go to grad school" is quite different from "I went to grad school and now I'm bitter about it." I don't think we should dismiss everyone who raises problems with academia as merely "bitter," either. There are some real problems with the state of education, and that blog addresses some of them, though not in a particularly productive way. All of us going into this can assume it will make us happy, but some of us will come out the other side displeased for a number of reasons. Some of us won't finish our degrees. If we could predict now how we would feel in the future, some of us might decide not to go. But we have to go with what we know now. Honestly, though: being a graduate student, if funded with a stipend that allows you to pay for basic necessities, can be a pretty sweet gig. It can suck sometimes, but let's be real. Most people in this world do not get paid to read, write, and engage in ideas that they feel passionately about. If I come out the other end of this and cannot get the job I want, if I end up teaching high school, I believe I will still be glad I did it. Grad school is, for me, a means and an ends.

Listen, I've had no problem engaging with YOU in this thread, despite a few of your trademark snide comments, which have only peppered an otherwise mature discussion. However, by now, econosocio has expressed some things that I hear all the time, things that I have responded to enough times in my life. I don't want to do it here, especially with someone who uses "bitches" earnestly and calls me sophomoric for acknowledging privilege (which, don't worry, I have plenty of my own). Econosocio comes to us via economics, so there are some fundamental differences in the way we're approaching this discussion. When respectful, that's fine. I feel that it's not respectful anymore. This thread is "dead" in that I cannot go in any more circles with econosocio, and nobody else seems to want to do that either. No hard feelings. When I did respond directly to your question about what to do is X-scenario, you ignored it in favor of continuing to pick fights, but somehow we are, again, all the bullies. I don't really dislike anyone, like, ever. Really. I am not ganging up on you and I have no grudges from old threads or past days. Let's make cookies together or something.

I have no more up votes... but you get All The Awards. Engaging in this debate seemed like a better idea last night at 2am, the official hour of lost internets.

The hypothetical scenario you describe has no easy answer. Hypothetical "you" is not in the wrong. You are in a crappy dilemma: one your professor should not be putting you in. It is at the worst possible time, probably because the person is aware of the power they hold at that time time. Conversely, you may be reading into genuine friendliness or interest in your application process. Even in this hypothetical example, I don't have the information I would need to determine how I would respond, if I would feel icky or intimidated or anything else. For all of my feminist talk, I would have to feel quite threatened to file a report against someone. In most situations I would try to ignore it and hope it goes away. After letters are done, you might say something professional but terse about how you worry the relationship is becoming a bit too friendly, and that you would prefer to keep things more professional. You have to ask yourself: How much discomfort is it causing you? Would the discomfort of saying something be worse? Does this seem like a person who will honestly back off if you ask them to? In short: I haven't been addressing your specific example because it's too difficult.

No, absolutely not. This "coy-female/agressive-male game," as you call it, just causes further harassment of women. Women are not taken seriously when we say "no," "no" has no meaning, because women are so often read as being disingenuous. We do not have an "accept/reject" button. We're not supposed to be too straightforward in our rejection, because then we're bitches, but if we are too nice about it, the rejection is read as flirting or an invitation to press harder. I'll agree with you that this "game" does nothing to benefit men, either. Also: Stop talking down to me. It is incredibly juvenile and patronizing.

Nope, I don't know his/her position. I can infer, however, that the claim that harassment is "rare" usually comes from one privileged enough not to have dealt with it.

It is not as rare as your privileged perspective leads you to believe. Rarely reported? Yes. Rarely happens? No.

Dear Literal McLiteralson, If you really believe these things cannot and do not slide into one another for some when supervisors and sex are involved, I'm not sure I can help you out here. One can feel simultaneously icky and intimidated, and most people in positions of authority should try their best not to make the people they have power over even feel icky, even if it is the lesser to these two, apparently diametral opposed concepts.

Intra-departmental ≠ supervisory/subordinate, which is mostly what I am referring to, and what the OP referred to as well.

This is the humanities. Are you asking me for quantitative research? You know I don't have that. The difference between icky and intimidation is terribly subjective, but if there are implicit or explicit threats to a person's career, education, future, etc for noncompliance... that's intimidation.

All of this stuff is nuanced, and sweeping generalizations don't get us anywhere. It is, however, completely normal to be attracted to your professors, your students, and/or your colleagues. Let's not be afraid to say that much. We share ideas, we are interested in those ideas (When it may seem no one else is: when was the last time you met a Random at a bar who wanted to talk Foucault?), and we sometimes do these things around alcohol. It is extremely important, then, to be aware of how we act on those feelings. Like girl who wears glasses said, there is room for consent and healthy/worthwhile relationships to come from these things. But there is also a lot of room for harassment and exploitation, favoritism, etc. We all have to be extra, extra careful with every decision we make in this regard, especially when we are the one in power. The best plan: Don't do anything until after the end of any supervisory relationship, follow the rules of your University, and be clear in articulating your boundaries when necessary.

So... now we are only talking about upper middle class attractive white women? Because why? And women in those categories cannot be sexually intimidated by those who hold institutional power over them? But luckily for them, poor non-white uglies don't have to deal with this? Interesting.... P.S. What happened to this forum and why can I only post text above the quote now?

You can count on at least one fedora, though.

I really, really wouldn't worry about it. You're not the first applicant from the UK.

Luckily, we don't have to worry about this much longer:

I feel like this speculating about grades, which can't really be compared across programs or professors, is pointless. We're just all December nervous. Rest easy, everyone: Your grades are probably better than mine. I feel pretty confident about my writing sample, but I'm glad to be unable to compare that to anyone else's. However, I will continue to indulge in this discussion and share what one of my professors told me about "grad school" grades. Basically, A = A, A- = B+, B+ = B, B = C, and B- or lower = F (since you usually need 3.0 to maintain your status as a TA or student). I haven't found this to be true, overall, as standards vary widely by professor, but it makes sense in general.

I've been lead to believe that GPA doesn't mean a whole lot in graduate school. I have a couple of A-'s. I also have a B+, you guys! It was from my first semester, when I came to my MA program as an MFA student and had pretty much never read literary theory, and I took a pretty difficult professor - since then, I got an A in another of his classes and he is my thesis advisor. I do not worry about that B+ because I learned so much in that class. I've also chosen to take courses with notoriously difficult graders as I tend to learn the most from them. There are some courses of 15ish people where a professor gives out almost all As, and there are other classes of this size where a professor gives out 0-2 A's, a few A-'s, a lot of B+'s and B's, and a few grades lower. I think (hope?) that adcoms know this. There are also people who do things like check myedu.com for the easiest graders so that they can maintain a 4.0 while doing the least amount of work possible. I'll pass on that strategy. My grades of less than A have (in most cases) come with excellent professor feedback that has made me a better writer, scholar, researcher, everything. I am not grade-focused or status-hungry. Also, I don't know anyone in my program with a 4.0, though I imagine there are a few. Grade inflation isn't that common here.

I went to unranked schools for my BA and my MA. My BA grades aren't very good, either (I had health concerns that kept me close to home and caused my attendance to suffer - I've only mentioned this to schools that asked, though). I feel I've gotten a good education at my MA regardless of the (lack of) ranking of my program. We have some fantastic faculty. I am also fully funded and have been teaching a 2/2 load for 3 years. None of us can change where we got our degrees, our grades, our test scores, etc. at this point... We can just speculate and speculate. :/

WHAT CRUEL HUMAN BEING WOULD MAKE A FAKE RESULTS POST? I found ANOTHER ONE after 6 applications. No turning back. At least you are not alone!

Interfolio is your friend! I received one of my letters the day before the first deadline, but only a few schools don't accept Interfolio, so it works out quite well. I don't have to wait for my recommender to fill out a million websites, and they don't have to fill out a million websites. Once my letter is on Interfolio, I can rest easy that at least *most* schools will be able to get the letter.

REDACTED My reading comprehension is very poor today :/

Let the answering machine get it so that you can freak out briefly, calm down, and call back. Right? This what I do for all calls anyway, because I get so many weird sales calls, and whenever I answer them it causes them to call back more.