MoleMocha

Honestly....I understand why you are frustrated but this all sounds quite normal to me. Until he's asking you to get him coffee, I wouldn't be concerned that you're his "secretary" Asking you to organize conference sessions, and even to do all of the "grunt work" associated, is normal. Do it without complaining. I am a 3rd year and I am still expected to do the majority of the work when organizing a session with my professor. I am giving a presentation at the end of the month with my professor and her Master's student - I basically have to organize everyone but I told the Master's student to put together the power point - bwahahahaha ;-) As far as feeling like he is not directing you enough or giving you readings - also normal. It took me a while to realize it, but the Ph.D. is much different than a Master's. He's not going to direct you as much. He wants to see what you do on your own. Don't wait for him to assign you a topic or a reading. Start looking up books and papers, find out the major journals in your field, and make your own reading list. That is what we're expected to do at this stage. If you wait for him to "guide" you, he's going to end up getting frustrated with you. On the same token, don't be surprised if he doesn't give you many edits on manuscripts/grant proposals/etc. until later drafts. My advisor used to frustrate me, because she would give me hardly any comments on the first two drafts (so I thought it was fine), then she would rip apart the third one. Ok, it still frustrates me! But I understand it more now. She wants me to improve it as much as I can on my own. And yes, you should be working on your thesis/dissertation from day 1, but your advisor is also correct in advising you to take it easy a bit. In other words, don't let it sit and never think about it, but don't obsess too much about it the first year. You should be thinking about your topic, reading as much as you can, and letting your interests develop naturally. For classes - if you feel like there is a class that would be redundant for you, tell your advisor! You and he should work together to tailor your class schedule. Have you done a Plan of Study yet? My school requires it to be filed with the Graduate School in the first year. It is basically a plan of what classes you will take each semester and when you will finish your coursework. How many hours of coursework are required? How quickly do you want to get them done? Figure out a plan, and that should tell you how many classes you need to take each semester. Four classes is a lot for a Ph.D. student - if you do that many classes you will have less time to spend on other things, like your dissertation and conferences. The main thing to remember is, this is YOUR program and YOUR time to step up and do what you want. You are a colleague now, not just a student. Your advisor is there for guidance, but he is probably being lax on you to see what you do your first year. If you want to push things forward, do it! But do it on your own. Read, study, write, really get into your topic. Good luck :-)

I am trying so hard to stay calm and not freak out. I am 4 weeks away. I know I can't know everything. I know it's an "academic spanking." I just want to do really well - I want to impress my committee. I have had problems with my advisor and sometimes I feel like she doesn't think I have what it takes. I want to prove her wrong in my quals. I have read the materials given to me by my committee members. My major advisor didn't give me any specific materials and told me she will be asking me about "the big picture" relating to my dissertation. She said it's not about memorization or "name-dropping," but I still feel like I need to know specific authors. How do I decide who to be familiar with?? If you are ABD, what advice can you give me about quals? What should I study? Aaagh, I'm not ready, aaaaaahhhhgggghghh!!!!

Wow, thank you both so much for the replies! It really helps to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

I'm just interested in other grad students' study habits. I am feeling very frustrated, because I feel like I just don't know enough. When my professors, or even other grad students talk, it seems like they are always thinking of something that I never thought of. They come up with these brilliant ideas and interpretations, and it makes me think "why couldn't I think of that?" This was exacerbated recently when my student cohort reviewed a manuscript for me before submission. The reviews were pretty positive, but one girl just completely ripped apart my grammar - mostly places where I used "which" instead of "that." I was trying to take the criticism well, but that really killed me because I felt like my grasp on grammar and spelling was excellent. Most of my cohort is from the East Coast, and I have a bit of a "Midwesterner" complex because I know I can speak in that Midwest slang sometimes. I always pray that it doesn't come through in my writing. I guess I'm just not feeling good enough lately. I feel like I need MORE knowledge, but there never seems to be enough hours in the day. So I'm wondering - how do you structure your study time? Do you make time to read every day? Do you force yourself to read a certain number of articles each day? Does your studying suffer when you have other work to do? What tips can you give me for becoming an expert in my field? Thanks!!

Were they very harsh? You said your PI was pleased - that's good!!

Congratulations!!!! Champagne for you

Oh man, ok I just went back and read about everyone's experiences, and that's enough to freak anyone out. I am supposed to take mine in August. I'm a little worried that the summer is going to get away from me doing fieldwork and everything else....Ahh!! I'll just try my best. I'm actually looking forward to reading most of the books on my list. I am probably the most interdisciplinary person in my department, so I'm not sure if that will give me an advantage or a disadvantage. I am expected to study a much wider array of materials than anyone else....but that also means that I will know more about any given subject than half the people in the room at any given time! I also have a very unique Master's degree, and have fallen back on that knowledge in classroom discussions, since no one else really knows what I'm talking about and I can make it sound really good, ha! Ok, I'm going to read all summer long and try not to freak out, lol

Hey girl :-) I didn't read your other responses, but I'm sure they gave you great advice. I haven't taken mine yet, but I have been told the same thing - it's a humbling exercise. They don't expect you to know everything, they are actually looking for the limit of your knowledge to see how you handle it when you reach the limit. I think it's more about teaching you a lesson about how to deal with it someday when a colleague or God forbid a student pins you down on something you don't know. It will happen, realistically, nobody is perfect. So it's all about how you handle it. And don't worry, you're not a fraud! But I know what you're feeling, because I have felt the exact same thing. Someone from these boards gave me these two articles, which really helped (mostly because I realized I'm not the only one!) http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org/career_development/previous_issues/articles/2008_02_15/caredit_a0800025 http://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/lockers/users/f/felder/public/Columns/Impostor.html A couple of stories I have heard from professors and fellow students: One unfortunate young man got into his oral exam, and was so petrified he couldn't even talk. Literally - could not get one word out! They had to reschedule the exam, ha! Another student of my mentor was a fisheries biologist, and had spent YEARS studying this one particular fish. When she was in her orals, they asked her to identify a type species of a fish, and she couldn't. They pushed her on it for a good ten minutes or so, and she couldn't identify the fish. It turns out it was the same species she had been studying for all those years! A fellow student in Geography was asked to draw a map of North America during his orals (remember, this is GEOGRAPHY). He drew the lower 48. They said "no, North America." He added Canada. They said "NO, North America!!" He finally added Mexico. You are not the only one by FAR - they are designed to throw you off your game. Did you pass? If you did, stop worrying and beating yourself up. You are on the downhill slide now, and you are doing great! Good luck girl, keep us updated :-)

Thanks for the replies! It's so nice to find a nice, supportive place to bounce ideas off of people - especially with all the snarkiness on the internet these days!

In my experience, the major difference between undergrad and my Master's program was more independence. You are expected to set your own schedule, manage your time and be responsible for yourself. Many of my Master's classes didn't even have tests - they had semester-long projects. It was important to manage your time and work a little bit on them each day, so you aren't trying to come up with something last-minute. So I wouldn't say a Master's program is necessarily harder, you just have to begin taking responsibility for your time and your knowledge acquisition OUTSIDE of class. It is important to research and read articles on your own - if you are going for an advanced degree you are supposed to become an expert in your field. You aren't going to have anyone standing there telling you how to do that - you have to just do it.

I took 3 classes (9 credit hours) per semester in my Master's. As a PhD, I have either taken 3 per semester, or 2 classes and 3 dissertation hours. Honestly, since we are expected to make major progress on our dissertation while taking classes, the latter option works much better for me. I think the best advice would be - talk to your advisor and determine what you would like your graduation date to be. Then decide how to distribute your classes between now and then. If you don't have to take more than two a semester, that might be best for you so you can make progress on your thesis.

I'm sure every program is different -- in our program, if you come in with a Master's degree (which I did), you only need two years of coursework, then you can focus on the dissertation project. However, there is considerable pressure to make progress on your dissertation WHILE you are taking classes. I am at the end of my coursework, and I have already defended my proposal, won two research grants (one major, one minor), attended numerous conferences and written a journal article on my preliminary analysis of my study area. I will be taking my comps this fall. Even all of that doesn't feel like enough - part of me feels like I'm two years in to the program and I should have accomplished more. Then again, I think to myself "how much do they really expect us to do while we're taking classes? Aren't we supposed to focus on our coursework at this time?" It doesn't help that there is one girl in our department who is a major overachiever - she came in with my cohort, and is already ABD and wants to graduate this time next year. She pumps out numerous articles and does extra research and analysis on the side for our advisor. I'm just wondering - how is it in your department? Are you allowed to focus on coursework, then move to your dissertation when the coursework is finished? Or are you expected to do everything all at once? How many years are you expecting to take to graduate? (I am hoping to graduate in four).

Hi Squirrel! Thank you so much for your response. I had a very similar experience last semester - I did a bad job on a presentation, and the next day got a pretty angry letter from my advisor. It was right before Thanksgiving, so I had to wait the entire break to talk to her! I think you're right - on the one hand, having someone pushing me will make me better. On the other hand, I've never doubted myself so much. I know it sounds cliche, but I guess I just have to believe in myself! And relax :-) Good luck with everything - we'll be done with all of this someday!!

My parents just got me one, so I haven't really been able to completely benefit its usefulness yet. But here's my preliminary evaluation :-) Pro: Lighter and easier to carry around than a laptop Con: Can't really type a paper or anything too involved on an iPad. It's nice if all you have to do is check things on email/internet, but not if you need to type. (Though I do have a friend who bought an external keyboard for his. Pro: If you download the iBooks app, you have an easy way to take books with you. You can also download articles in pdf form, and they go onto your iBooks bookshelf. Con: You can't highlight (at least I haven't figured out how to yet). I like Adobe Reader X on my laptop, because it allows me to highlight pdf articles. Pro: Good camera, lots of fun to use. Con: TIME SUCK!!! I really like it so far. I'm sure that the full power of the iPad will be revealed in time, so I'll let you know if I find out any new applications ;-)

Hi guys! I just need to vent for a minute, and any responses or advice will be highly appreciated. I am at the end of my second year in my PhD program, meaning I am finishing up the last of my classes. I thought my confidence would increase as I go through the program, but lately it seems to be getting worse. I don't know what's wrong with me, really. I have a lot going for me - I'm funded on a fellowship for two more years. I am finishing classes and so far have all A's except for one B. I passed my proposal defense and will be taking comps in the fall, then I will be ABD. I have a lot of professional contacts, I work for a non-profit as extracurricular "service" credit, and I have two publications in the works which I have presented at a number of conferences. But sometimes, I feel like I'm just not good enough. My advisor has freaked out on me a couple of times (not this semester, thankfully), so I am so afraid of disappointing her. I have a week to finish up my semester-long project for her class - I put some work in on it during the semester, but I am still down to crunch-time and kicking myself for not getting more done sooner. I had to present my research in the final class yesterday, and I was the last one to go (we went in pre-determined order). By the time I listened to everyone else's presentations (and sucked down a medium iced coffee), I was completely nervous, jittery, and just convinced that my project is crap. My presentation was terrible. Ok, everyone else told me it was fine, but I know I could have done better and I am just so frustrated with myself! Some feedback would be really nice from my fellow grads - am I the only one who gets like this? Am I the only one who comes down to crunch-time with semester projects? Who gets frustrated when they don't do as well as they would have liked on a presentation? Deep down I know I'm not, but there's this little voice in my head saying "you're in graduate school! You have to do a A++++ job on everything!! Don't fail!! You're never going to succeed at this or anything if you don't start being more productive!!! Aaagh!!" *sigh*