I, too, have been planning out how I will live in different cities. Then I remember how small a chance I have of actually moving to any of these cities and the panic starts all over again... Breathing has never been so difficult. I literally feel every minute pass and I try to rationalize the million times I check my email and this website. I'm subhuman right now... and while it's comforting to know everyone else is losing their sanity, I don't know what I'm going to do if I come out of this process with nothing to show for it. How the hell do people do this several years in a row??? How do you tell your family and friends you struck out, when they have no idea what this process actually is and how hard it's been? I don't think I've ever been this insecure, weepy, bitchy, and OCD all wrapped into one miserable package.
And to think I started this process enthusiastically.