Hi All,
If you are a Ph.D student and in the humanities field, I'd especially like your input.
I am currently an M.A. student studying in the humanities field. I hope to apply to Ph.D programs in the humanities in the future.
I received a summer fellowship to do intensive language studies; however, I'm having a very difficult time keeping up with the amount of workload given everyday and the daily quizzes every day. To be honest, I haven't been doing so well on the quizzes and I bombed our first test. My oral quizzes and tests are fantastic, excepts its the written portion that I do poorly on. I don't get it.
It seems that many people in my class already have at least 1 year of experience in the language we are studying (I do not know WHY they're in the level 1 class with me, which is for beginner's). Many are also taking the intensive language class "for fun" because they "want to try something new" or for the native speakers, "an easy A." They honestly goof around in class and are fine with just "getting by." I just wish I could enjoy it as much as they are. I feel like I'm the only one in class stressing out every single minute of my summer. I have to maintain a certain grade in order to keep my fellowship so I freak out over every single point I lose on the quiz/test. I'm not enjoying my summer at all and I'm actually a bit burnt out from Spring classes.
I'm not sure what to do. I can do my very best and continue although the grade I will receive for this course won't be as great as I thought it would be. I'm worried about how much damage it will do to my graduate GPA- especially if I want to continue to a PhD program in the future? Is a B or higher good enough for language courses?
Or I'm not sure if I should give up the summer fellowship for the sake of my well being and save myself from this immense stress (Guys, I'm losing so much hair it's ridiculous...), but then I'm not sure what I'll do for the rest of the summer...and losing the fellowship would definitely suck. I guess I can work on putting together my M.A. thesis or work on a conference paper, but...ah...the thought of losing the fellowship because I couldn't keep up with the class is so disappointing. I can't help but keep feeling like a failure. I'm also afraid of what this will mean for me when I apply to PhD programs in the future. I mean I guess I can take the classes during the regular school year too...I really don't know what to do...or what the best decision is that will affect my future...
[edited for privacy reasons. -fuzzy]