zabius

My roommate and I just signed a lease for an apartment in Northeast. We're also both out-of-state and car-less, and were worried about finding a place without having a chance to look at it first. But, we managed to work it all out and I think you can too! This is what we did: We picked a weekend when we could visit Minneapolis to look at apartments (I couldn't go myself, but my roommate was able to drive out there to check out places on our behalf). Once we had a date in mind, we put together a list of our 5-6 favorite apartments from craigslist and then contacted the landlords to ask if we could arrange a showing during that weekend. Some of them never got back to us, but eventually we had scheduled a solid 4 showings on that Saturday. Then he went out there and took a look at each place (asking questions, sending me pictures, etc.) and told each landlord that we'd get back to him/her in a few days. Once he was back home, we had a long phone chat in which we weighed all of our options, then we picked our favorite and signed the lease a few days later. It was a bit of a hassle, but it all worked out in the end. And keep in mind that we were actually very picky about apartments. We had a huge list of restrictive criteria (it had to be dog friendly, it had to be by a bus stop, we wanted it to have a yard, etc.), but we were still able to score a nice, spacious place in our favorite neighborhood (we love NE). If we could get an apartment from afar despite being so selective, I have confidence that you could get one too… no matter what your own selection criteria are. Most of the places on craigslist right now seem to be for May 1st or June 1st move-in dates. My roommate actually needs to be in MN by June 1st, which is why we've already signed a lease. If you want an August apartment, you'll probably want to look around June or so… it seems like apartments aren't really listed until ~60 days before the move-in date. There are some August/September apartments floating around now, but most of those look like undergrad-heavy complexes near Dinkytown. Keep checking, of course, but I'd guess that you'll need to wait a little while before good August apartments start to appear. One other thing to keep in mind is that apartments seems to go really fast. There were many times during our search when we called a landlord about a craigslist ad that was posted several days earlier only to hear, "Sorry… we've already found a tenant." It can get frustrating, but don't get discouraged. Since everything goes so fast, my advice for you would be to not get really serious about your apartment search until ~1-2 weeks or so before your weekend visit. If you start earlier, there's a good chance that the properties you find will have been rented already by the time you get out there to see them. Some landlords might "hold" the place for you, but in my experience most won't. If you can't/don't want to visit MN to look at apartments, I'd suggest trying to find a roommate who lives in or near Minneapolis who could visit apartments and send pictures/impressions to you. Of course, I highly suggest making the trip yourself. Some landlords don't feel comfortable renting to tenants whom they haven't met in person; my new landlord is like that. And, of course, it's always risky for you as a tenant to rent an apartment that you haven't had a chance to inspect for yourself. If neither you nor your roommate(s) can visit (or if you don't want a roommate at all), perhaps you could have someone else check it out for you? My roommate and I planned on asking one of the current students in the program to visit apartments on our behalf in the event that neither of us could make it out there (we'd have invited him/her over for beer/pizza to say "thank you" in the fall). That's not an ideal scenario, but it's better than nothing. If none of these things are options and you must rent site unseen, I'd suggest limiting your search to rental companies that have positive reviews online. That would at least lower the chance of you being scammed. All of this said, I actually don't know how common such scams are. I rented a unit without seeing it first back when I was about to start my master's in NC, and that worked out fine enough. Still, one can't be too careful! As for rent… my impression (from looking around craigslist and talking to current students in my program) is that Uptown is a little on the pricy side while NE is slightly more affordable. But $900/month sounds very doable anywhere. I think that if you live with a roommate or two, the prices will also go down by a lot. The rent on our place in NE is $1200/month ($600/person) with all utilities except electricity included. I don't think that I would have been able to find a good 1 bedroom apartment for $600/month (at least not one as nice/spacious as our current place), but it looks like a 2 bedroom apartment for $1200/month is not uncommon at all. In fact, we saw a bunch of options that were cheaper than that. Before I settled on rooming with someone, I was checking out 1 bedroom apartments, and many of those fell into the $750-800/month range. I hope this was helpful! Good luck with your search. And keep in mind that this is all based on my own experience as an incoming student. People who currently live in Minneapolis might have a better idea of some of these things than I do.

Well, the policy really depends on the school. I'm not familiar with how Canadian schools operate; I only know about schools in the US. Here, if you've accepted a funded offer, you can typically back out of it pretty easily as long as you do so before a certain date (typically April 15th). If you want to withdraw from the program after that date, though, typically you need to contact the school and get written permission before they release you. I don't know what the deadlines or policies are for Calgary and McGill. If you find out that you are accepted to Calgary, you should email the people at McGill and ask them what you would have to do to be released from the program. It might be as simple as just letting them know that you're not interested anymore, for all I know. However, I suspect that you'll probably need some kind of written permission for it, since you've formally committed by paying that deposit. However, nothing is ever truly set in stone... if you want to back out of McGill, you can. That could potentially burn some bridges, but if you handle it tactfully, you'll probably be fine. I didn't mean to persuade you in any one direction with my post. If you need to get written permission to withdraw from McGill, just be polite in your request and explain your situation. Remember that, at the end of the day, this is your education and you need to make the decision that is best for you. If Calgary is the best school for you and they accept you, you shouldn't feel bad about attempting to back out of McGill. The people at McGill might not like that, but if you're polite about it, then they should hopefully at least understand. It really does depend on the people involved. Most will either not really care, or at worst be annoyed but not hold a grudge against you. I hope that clarifies some of the points from my earlier message. Basically, what I meant to say was that there's a possibility of burning bridges at McGill, but that you should be okay if you approach the situation tactfully.

Is there a chance that you could audit these courses? You'd get to learn the material by sitting in on the lectures, but wouldn't be taking them for a grade so your GPA would be safe.

My advice would be to call the people at U Calgary and ask about the status of your application. Emails can go unanswered for days or even weeks, but a phone call will usually get you a prompt response. If they don't pick up the first time, call them back a little later. Be sure to explain your situation to them-- say that their program is your top choice, but you also have another offer on the table and need to know for sure whether or not you've been accepted because you need to start on your visa paperwork very soon. Hopefully they'll be able to tell you something definite (as opposed to something like "we're still reviewing applications"). If you've been rejected from Calgary, proceed to fill out the visa application to study at McGill. If Calgary tells you that you've been waitlisted, I'd say you should probably wait a little while (until ~3 months before the start of the semester). If by that time you still haven't heard anything from Calgary, then proceed with the paperwork for McGill so that you can be sure that there's enough time for your visa application to be approved. If you're accepted into Calgary, then you're in a tricky situation. Since you've accepted McGill's offer and paid their deposit, you'll likely need written permission from McGill before you can be released from their program and free to accept Calgary's offer. It's doable, but it might be a hassle to arrange. You'll also want to approach this tactfully, as there's always the potential that you could burn bridges with the people at McGill if you back out now. Good luck!

That's awesome! The school system needs more encouraging teachers like you.

I think it definitely does depend... not just on the individual programs that you apply to, but also on where this funding is coming from. If you'd be paying your own way via external grants or fellowships, then that can definitely improve your chances. I know that, in my field, students who come in with that kind of independent funding (say, for example, an NSF fellowship) are viewed favorably. It won't guarantee that you get into the program, of course, if the rest of your application doesn't stack up... you still need a good SOP, good LORs, and you need to be a good fit for the program. However, many programs receive applications from more highly qualified applicants than they can possibly accept, and the availability of funding is one of the biggest limiting factors that determines how many students they admit each year. So, if you're a competitive and well-fitting applicant *and* you can fund yourself, you could get into a program that might otherwise have rejected you simply because they wouldn't have been able to fund you otherwise. I know that this happens... my former undergrad mentor just accepted a graduate student that she wouldn't have been able to take on if she didn't come in with an NSF fellowship. That said, it doesn't always work that way. Some schools only accept a small fraction of applicants because of space issues, or because they like to keep the student:faculty ratio low. In those cases, your ability to fund yourself won't matter as much. But, having external funding can never hurt you. So, if you've been awarded grants or fellowships prior to entering, make that known... put those awards on your CV and tell your POIs about them. If nothing else, many of these things are very prestigious and reflect very well on your abilities. If you mean "funding yourself" by taking out loans or whatnot, I think schools will find that less impressive-- unlike external grants/fellowships, there's no "prestige" involved here, and many programs will probably assume that unfunded students will take out loans anyway. If you mean "funding yourself" via personal savings... maybe this would increase your chances (I'm not sure, as I never heard of it happening), but I wouldn't mention it when you apply. If you do say that you can pay tuition and living expenses out of your own pocket, the programs may interpret that as meaning "great, we can offer this one a small funding package/no funding at all."

I don't know enough about these programs or these schools to really say anything about them. But if your plan is to go for a PhD in the future, I'd recommend checking out what graduates of each program end up doing. Does one school have a better record of sending its master's graduates off to highly regarded PhD programs? If so, that would probably be the best choice for you, all other things being equal. That information can sometimes be found on the individual departments' websites, but if it's not listed there, you can always ask someone (perhaps your POI or the DGS) for it. Good luck with your decision!

I know that there are many, many SLP people on these boards who can probably give you more specific advice, but in my opinion I think you should take the funded offer. Fully-funded master's programs aren't exactly common, and if the program at UNC can get you a good job, why take out $50,000+ in loans? I can maybe understand going into that much debt if UNC had a terrible job record, or if the difference in quality between the two programs was vast. But UNC sounds like a genuinely good school... maybe not as good as UC-Boulder, but still good enough that you'll come out of the program with good job prospects. So, I think UNC is the way to go here, unless you think that UC-Boulder can prepare you for a particular job that UNC cannot. I can understand not wanting to move to a "not-so-great farm town." My master's was in a rural North Carolina town that I positively couldn't stand. But it's important to remember that a master's program is only two years long... you'll be in and out of that farm town before you even realize it. You say that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life in Boulder, but your master's program is only a tiny sliver of your entire life. You could always get the degree at UNC and then try to land a job in Boulder. Another thing to keep in mind... one of the programs that I applied to (in a completely different field, so take this for what it's worth) also offers a small number of highly competitive, part-time TAships. In our case, every student has an RAship, but can apply for a TAship to get supplemental funding. Anyway, the DGS told us that they preferentially choose students who *don't* have prior teaching experience for the TAships, so that those students can get the experience to put on their CVs. So, having prior TA experience might actually work against your chances of getting a TAship at UC-Boulder. Or, it may not... I don't know what things are like in your field/at that school. I'm just putting this out there. Basically, I think you should choose UNC because (1) it's funded and (2) it's only a 2-year program and you can always move back to Boulder later if you want. The only really compelling reason to choose UC-Boulder is if you find that no one UNC is a good research fit for you. Fit is really important in my field (probably the most important thing... especially for those of us looking to stay in academia), but I don't know how much it matters in SLP. And again, if CU-Boulder can help you land a "dream job" that you simply couldn't get with a degree from UNC, then maybe CU-Boulder is the way to go. I just have a hard time recommending 50,000+ dollars in loans if you have a fully-funded offer on the table that doesn't really seem that bad at all. But again, I'm an "outsider;" someone in the field of SLP can probably give you a somewhat more informed opinion. Good luck with your decision!

Thanks! I'm not sure yet. Part of me wants to take my current specimens with me, and then add more species to the collection once I've settled in. Another part of me thinks that it might be better to sell the scorpions online before I move and then get back into the scorpion hobby later if I have the time. I might also give them to a friend. I have a few months to figure it out. The issue is that I've developed an attachment to some of my specimens... especially desert hairy up there. He's one of the few that has a proper name... Dwayne II. I guess it also depends on the apartment that I settle on for grad school. I wouldn't take the scorpions unless the lease specifies that caged pets are okay. I'm going for dog-friendly apartments, though, and those are usually "other pet" friendly too.

No, I don't think that would be a bad idea at all. But, I wouldn't dwell on it either... you can mention it in the part of your SOP where you explain your background and previous experiences, but I'd recommend using most of the SOP to discuss why you're interested in getting an MA in English lit.

Dealing with my letter writers. Most of them were excellent-- I had asked them for letters well in advance and, when the time came, they submitted their letters to all of the schools before the deadlines. One, however, was the exception. He submitted his letter to all of the schools that I applied to except for one (which is strange, given that the deadlines were so close together and he was presumably using the same letter for each school). I contacted him several times as the deadline approached, but got no response. Then the deadline passed and I tried again, but still nothing. At the time, that school was also my top choice, so I really started to panic. It got to the point that the department head emailed me several weeks after my interview and basically said, "Look... we like your application, but we can't make a final decision on it unless you get your third recommendation in." At that point, I made one last effort to contact him, but it didn't go anywhere so I frantically called up another professor and he [thankfully] sent in a quick LOR for me. To this day, though, the original letter writer has yet to get back to me... not even an apology for ignoring me or a few sentences to let me know what happened. Last year, this same professor wrote a bad recommendation for me which, according to my POI at the time, directly caused my application to be rejected before interviews were even set up. I didn't find this out until after he had submitted letters to some of my schools this year; fortunately, either his letters were better this year or they were simply overshadowed by my other letters (which I know were strong). But still... it was a pain to deal with him during the application process. It was also surprising considering that we worked closely together during my master's program and he never even once made any hint that he was upset with me. So, yeah... deadbeat LOR writers are at the top of my list. But there are a couple of other little things that I didn't like: -- Admissions websites that don't let you check your status and websites that don't email you when your status changes -- Ordering transcripts. My master's school required me to mail a form by snail-mail to request them, and took over a month to process my request. -- Interviewing with professors who obviously didn't want to interview me. At one school, I had to meet with six professors aside from my POI. One of those professors started the interview by saying, "I'm not taking any students this year and we don't have any research overlap, so I'm not sure why we're meeting. Tell me about yourself." EDIT: Wow, I sound like negative Nancy. For the most part, I didn't think the process was *that* bad... mostly just tedious because of all of the waiting. The only thing that I'd say truly annoyed me was that one letter writer.

I had two dogs throughout my master's program, during which time I was also single and lived on my own. It's very doable, but you may need to adjust your schedule to make time for the dogs. I was often on campus from ~9-5 every weekday, but I also used my lunch break to go back home and walk the dogs. I lived close to campus, so this was pretty feasible. I also worked a nice, long morning walk into my routine. Then, of course, the first thing I did when I got home was play with them (they were always so happy to see me) and give them their dinner. One semester I had to teach an evening class (that lasted from 6-9pm, ugh), and on those days I usually made a second trip home to walk and feed them at about 5pm. They didn't like that I was gone for so long then, but they managed... the class only met once per week. If you have a partner or a roommate, it's a lot easier. If you're stuck late on campus, for instance, you can call that person up and ask him/her to feed or walk the dogs. And if you're really busy with homework and can't be disturbed, the dogs will have someone else to play with when they're bored. But, I didn't have anyone that I could count on like that, and I managed just fine. :-) One thing that probably helped, though, was the fact that I had two dogs... which meant that they could play with each other when I wasn't home. My advice is to wait until you're settled in your new program before you consider adopting a dog. Get a sense of your initial course schedule as well as how much time you'll be spending on campus for research. After the first semester, you'll have a good sense of this. Then, if you think you'll have the time, go for it... dogs are great fun, and for me they were the only thing that made my time at my [awful] master's program enjoyable. You'll need to factor in time to feed them, time to walk them throughout the day, and of course time to play with and pet them, but you can do it if you have good time management skills. If you do get a dog, I'd advise getting one that is not a puppy... puppies require a lot more time because you'll need to train and supervise them in addition to feeding, walking, and playing. I don't think that I would have been able to handle that on my own while still doing everything I needed to do for my program, but perhaps you might be different. With a partner, it would probably also be much more manageable... provided that your partner likes dogs, that is. :-) Puppies also need a lot more attention and playtime, and will make sure that you know it. One other thing to consider, though... if you have dogs, you can't just go out of town on a whim. Make sure that you have someone who can take care of the dogs if you need to go to a conference or something like that! You also can't go out on the town with your cohorts straight from work, without first stopping at home to feed and walk the dogs. If you think that you'll be spending more time on campus or going out and relatively little time at home, then a dog probably isn't the best thing for you right now.

I'm most surprised that my friends didn't strangle me, as grad school applications are all I've talked about since December. Also, the school that I thought was most likely to accept me rejected me, and the school that I thought was most likely to reject me accepted me. The latter ended up becoming my top choice and is the school that I'm going to be attending in the fall. This whole process was full of surprises!

I'm also not sure if I understand the question. But here are some miscellaneous thoughts that might be helpful: If this course is needed as a requirement for your program and you get a C in it, you might have to retake it. Most schools consider anything below a B to be a failing grade for graduate students. However, you should talk to your advisor and the director of graduate studies about this... they might decide that you don't have to retake it even if you get a bad grade. In that case, you might need to get written permission from them or fill out some kind of paperwork. Based on the quote that you've posted here, it sounds like undergraduate courses don't count towards graduation requirements (e.g. if you need to take a minimum number of credits to graduate, you can't count credits from undergraduate courses towards that total). It also sounds like the grade you earn from this course will not be factored into your GPA to determine if you can stay in the program. Many programs require that their graduate students maintain a minimum GPA, and students who fall below that threshhold may be at risk of losing funding or being kicked out of the program. Your grade in this course will not be taken into account for this purpose, because you didn't take this course before 1998. Only your grades in graduate-level courses will be factored into your GPA. Your current GPA of 3.5 seems okay to me. Check with your advisor/DGS again and see what the minimum GPA is for grad students in your program. At many schools, the minimum GPA is 3.0, but it might be higher at your school so it's definitely worth asking. I can't imagine that a 3.5 would get you in trouble anywhere, though. So, you probably don't have much to worry about. In a worst case scenario, you'd probably just have to retake the technical writing course. I don't know what "GR" means on your transcript, but most transcripts come with a key that explains what the abbreviations mean. It might stand for "graded option," which means that you took it for a letter grade as opposed to the S/U option? Or it might stand for "graduation requirement" if this course is required for your degree. It might also stand for "graduate level," in which case it is a mistake that you should talk to someone about. There's no way for us to know what it means, because each school's transcripts are different. If you can't find the key on your transcript, search on the registrar's website or the grad school website, or ask someone who might know (like the DGS). I hope this helps. Again, I'm not sure what your specific question is. But whatever it is, I'd bet that your advisor and/or DGS can answer it better than we can. You should talk to them about it... they are the ones who are in charge of helping you create and stick to your degree plan.

I agree with this. Competition was fierce this year... many programs saw an increase in applicants and a decrease in funding (due to the federal budget cuts), which is not a very good combination of circumstances. And there's no indication that the situation will improve next year; in fact, competition might be even more fierce then if the funding situation does not improve. There's also no guarantee that you'd be accepted next year even if you can improve your GRE scores or get your papers published this year. These things will increase your odds, no doubt, but it may not be enough if the money just isn't there to support you. There were many people with great scores, good research experience, and publications who were rejected from numerous programs this admissions cycle-- there are just so many factors that go into a school's decision. For what it's worth, here is a message from a POI at a school that rejected me this year. The research fit was nearly perfect, and my overall application was strong (good GREs, high undergrad and master's GPA, first-author publication, etc.): The reason that there were so few spots available is because of funding-- this school will only admit students if they can guarantee them full 5-year support. Given all of that, I think you should take the offer at UIUC if it is not too late to accept. The research fit is good, the school itself is good, and you have a fully funded offer, which is something might be hard to secure anywhere next year... even if your application is very strong. Urbana-Champaign is a pretty small city, but it's not the middle of absolute nowhere... there will be things to do there on the weekends and people to meet, etc. And it's probably not as cold as you are thinking it might be (though I might be biased in saying this... I'm used to--and actually prefer--cold climates). Good luck with your decision!

"Abusive" is not a quality that you want in a mentor, no matter how good this person's research is. If nearly everyone associated with that lab is telling you not to work with this person, then there must be a good reason why. If it were just one person telling you this, I'd suspect that it's just an underlying personality mismatch between that student and the professor, but a large consensus makes me think that there is some truth to these complaints. Never, ever work with a professor that you would describe as "abusive." An intense professor is okay if you work well in that kind of situation, but "abusive" is never good no matter what. S/he may be doing really good science on a topic that is currently "hot," but if s/he really is abusive and hard to worth with, then your own work will suffer, as will your mental/emotional health most likely. Go with the second advisor. It sounds like the lab is well respected, and a Top 15 institution is still very prestigious. You're also genuinely interested in the research being done there. Remember that your research will inevitably be somewhat different than your advisor's-- the whole point of a PhD project is do something original. So, perhaps you can come up with a project of your own and make it have that "badass factor" that is missing in your advisor's work. Perhaps you can spin it a certain way or approach the question from a new angle or incorporate techniques from another field. Your project can be as amazing as you make it be. And it will definitely be easier to make it amazing with the help of a supportive PI. I feel like it's a clear choice here... you really don't want to spend the next 5+ years in an abusive relationship. The stress and depression just won't be worth it. And if you're stressed and depressed, then there's a good chance that the work you do will not be your best anyway.

There is generally no writing sample required for biology programs; writing samples are usually only asked for in the humanities or social sciences. For all of the programs that I applied to, I just needed a statement of purpose (in which I described my prior research experiences and plans for the future, including what I intended to work on and why I chose that school specifically). Some schools will also ask for shorter supplemental essays, but these are generally ~1 page in length and are aimed mostly at assessing whether or not you're a good fit for the program. Many programs also allow you to upload copies of any scientific publications you may have, as well as your CV, but in most cases these things are optional. Then of course there are the standard things-- LORs, GRE scores, transcripts, etc. Some programs may recommend the biology subject GRE, but I generally find that exam to be a worthless endeavor; I'd only recommend it if the school requires it (or "strongly recommends" it), or if your SO doesn't have a strong biology background. The SOP is what your SO should really focus on the most. That's where he'll be able to sell himself as a focused student, by describing his commitment to research and presenting ideas for possible PhD projects. The more details he can provide, the better (though of course he shouldn't come across as *so* focused on one project that he seems inflexible... there is a balance to be had here). As for which schools are good... it really depends on your SO's interests. A school that may be really strong in, say, social animal behavior or chemical ecology might be really weak in something like restoration ecology or systematics or macroevolutionary theory. EEB is a really large field (actually, it's three fields-- ecology, evolution, and behavior), and so it's really hard to generalize. There are rankings available (http://chronicle.com/article/NRC-Rankings-Overview-Ecology/124723/), but since the field is so broad I don't know if I'd really trust the rankings all that much. Your SO should do a search for labs that work on his system(s) of interest and then go from there-- the professor's publication record and his/her record of placing students in good careers will give you a much better sense of the lab's quality than the rankings will. On a related note, it's worth mentioning that, in my experience at least, many EEB programs either require or strongly suggest that you contact individual faculty members whose research interests you before you submit the application. In some cases, you cannot be accepted into the program without a faculty member to sponsor your application (this is especially true if the funding comes from your advisor's grant money). I know that in other fields you simply apply to the program and then choose an advisor after you're admitted, but EEB generally doesn't work like that. Rotations, which are common in other biological sciences, aren't very common in eco/evo/behavior labs. So, your SO really should put together a list of individual labs that interest him instead of a list of schools, and then email those professors to ask if they are taking new students next year. Of course, this doesn't mean that program/school quality isn't important, because it is-- the departmental atmosphere can really make all the difference in your graduate school experience. But I think that's something to assess and worry about a little later on, perhaps during interviews/visitation weekends. When it comes to choosing where to apply, I'd say choose based on your fit within the lab itself. Also, depending on your SO's interests, he may want to look not just at faculty in EEB departments, but also at people in other, related departments. For example, professors who do cool ecological/evolutionary/behavioral work on insects may be found in entomology departments. There are also zoology departments, plant science departments, etc. that contain faculty who do EEB work. Conversely, at smaller schools there may only be a single general biology department, which includes all of the EEB faculty as well as the celluar and molecular biologists. These are just things to keep in mind when looking for labs. I hope this helps! Good luck to your SO with the applications!

Good on you for deciding to be open about your plan with both universities! That is definitely the only right choice in this situation. The other posters here are right... the original plan was, as bamafan said, "ill-conceived, immature, and selfish (and not to mention, again, illegal)." I hope that you can appreciate why that is the case, and that you'll think twice before attempting plans like that in the future. But if you go through the proper channels and work out a plan that everyone at both universities agrees with (as it sounds like you are trying to do now), then perhaps you can set up a formal collaboration of sorts that would have you working with people at both institutions. Perhaps you can be enrolled at one and a "visiting scholar" at the other? That's not uncommon at all, and could help you achieve the same result you were looking for originally, but without being illegal, unethical, and potentially detrimental to your future. Ironing out the details of the funding is sometimes tricky in these situations, but it's not impossible. There may even be special grants that you can apply for which aim to foster collaborative research across institutions. Good luck with the talks. Remember, disclose all the details and be willing to accept hearing "no" or having to negotiate. I hope you can work out something that meet your needs!

The letter was actually from my master's advisor! It's really strange because he never expressed any dissatisfaction with my research. Granted, he was very hands-off (he had many off-campus responsibilities, so he rarely had time to meet with me), but when we did interact he always came off as friendly and supportive. When I asked him for the letter, he didn't hesitate to say "yes." So, I have no idea why he would write me a lousy letter, but I wish he had just turned me down when I asked for it. My research had hit a rough spot when I had asked (some of my study organisms had died off due to a microscopic parasite), but that was something that no one could have foreseen or prevented... perhaps he blamed me for that anyway and wrote me a crappy letter because of it? I found out because, after graduating from the MS program, I went back home to NY and looked for jobs to keep me busy during my "off year." One of the places that I interviewed at for a job was the institution that I had previously applied to for a PhD. I didn't know this when I applied for the job, but the interview was actually conducted by my former POI there. At the end of the interview, he apologized for how the PhD application process turned out and let it slip that it was an unsupportive letter that did me in; he pushed for my application to go through anyway because his lab was such a good fit for me, but the adcom just wouldn't consider it because there were so many other applicants with three glowing reviews. I figured out that it was my MS advisor because numerous people had told me that my other two letter writers had spoken very highly of me. To this day, I don't know what the letter said or why he wrote it that way; needless to say that I was very surprised when I found out the truth. He continues to be friendly to me when we interact, though lately he's been ignoring my emails. Sometimes academics can be strangely passive aggressive. I kind of want to confront him about it, but I know that it's probably better to just forget about it and not ask him for any LORs in the future. Also, I'm pretty sure that I'm technically not supposed to have found out that his letter was lousy.

There's a bunch of good "why I want to go to grad school" stories in this thread, mine included: I know that the OP's recruitment weekend has long since passed, but the thread above could be a nice read for anyone else in a similar situation (e.g. people planning accepted students' weekends or next year's recruiting events).

Of course, that should have said, "It sounds like the ethics argument is not really resonating with you, though, which is a little worrisome." I didn't catch that typo before the option to edit my post had expired.

You've been asking all of us for advice, but have you asked the relevant people at both schools what they think? You say that you have talked to one professor at the EU school, but really, you do need to talk to people at both schools-- don't pick and choose which people you consult based on who you think will tell you what you want to hear. You need to talk to everyone involved. Seriously, just tell your POI at the UK school and your POI at the European school what your plan is. Don't leave out any details-- tell them exactly where you plan to work, which funding you plan to use, and that you intend to withdraw from one school several years down the road. Then see what they think. I'm willing to bet that they'll agree with most of the opinions that you've heard in this thread. Everyone in this thread has given you very good advice. It sounds like the ethics argument is not really resonating with you, though, which is a little worrisome. I'm not sure how you can't see this as an unethical decision. But it is... this isn't a matter of cultural differences, but rather something that would almost certainly be seen as universally immoral by everyone in academia. If you're not buying that, then ask the people at both schools (not just one person at one school) and let them explain it to you. They might succeed in convincing you where we have failed, as I'm almost positive that this isn't something that they would agree to. That one professor at the EU school may be okay with it (which honestly just makes me question his integrity as a professor), but I'll bet that the professors at the UK school might not be so happy with this plan. Also, if you still don't see this as a moral dilemma and you're the type who responds better to "personal benefit" arguments, then consider the terrible, detrimental effect that this can have on your career. The risk can't possibly be worth it, right? The damage to your reputation within your field wouldn't be trivial... it would be a blemish that would follow you around forever. There are people whose whole careers have been shattered by academic dishonesty! And that's what this is-- academic dishonesty. It's not plagiarism, but there's more to academic dishonesty than just plagiarism. Again, the only way to do this properly is to tell everyone involved at both schools what your plan is (every relevant detail) and get everyone's approval before even attempting it. It sounds like you know that your plan to study at both institutions probably won't work out, and that you're looking for just one person to assure you that it will. But even if you find that reassurance, it isn't going to help you when you're several years into your PhD and have angered a bunch of people by being dishonest, perhaps to the point that they suspend you from the PhD program(s). At the end of the day, the choice is yours. No one can stop you from enacting this plan, as immoral and potentially illegal as it may be. But I really, honestly do think that if you try to do what you have planned and keep your true intentions in the dark, then several years from now we'll be hearing about you on some academic mailing list (not in a good way, of course) and be spreading your story around as a cautionary tale to future applicants. Do you really want to be that guy?

I didn't know that MN gave the world Funfetti. Now I'm even more excited!

I don't think that they'll let you do that. Many schools stipulate that by accepting their offer you need to decline admission to all other schools. Even if that's not stated in your official admission letter, it's probably in the fine print somewhere. What you could do is email both of the schools and ask for a slight extension on the decision deadline. I'm not sure if they'll extend it past April 15th, but it's worth a shot. If they both go along with it, this will give your wife a little more time to look for jobs. They won't extend the decision deadline all the way to August, though (at best, you'll get a few weeks). But it will buy you and her a little more time. If they don't give you an extension, you'll probably need to just make a decision now, and it will be up to you to determine whether you want to take the risk on your top choice school (better for you, but uncertain employment for your wife) or settle for your hometown school (not so great for you, but has financial security). That's a tough choice and I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. Maybe others who have been in a similar boat themselves can weigh in with more useful advice? One other thing to keep in mind, though, is that the CGS resolution technically only applies to offers of funding, not offers of admission. Check with School A and see what their acceptance deadline is for unfunded offers. If it's later than April 15th, then one option may be to accept School B's offer now, have your wife look for jobs near School A, and then back out of B's offer and accept A's if she finds a job before A's deadline. That's not an ideal situation, of course... by backing out of School B after you have accepted their offer, you risk making enemies there which is something could come back to bite you later. I wouldn't recommend this, as obviously burning bridges is something that you don't want to do if you can help it, but I am putting the idea out there. Just keep in mind that if you *do* try this strategy, School B may give you a hard time when to try to withdraw. It's probably best to not even try that, and instead make a decision now (or try to buy some time by extending both deadlines). Good luck!